Limerick influencer and tattoo artist shares how pregnancy loss inspired art career
"Lola passed at 20 weeks, and I decided from that moment on that I wasn’t going to do anything that didn’t serve me anymore. I just wanted to do what I want, follow my dreams and chase my passion”.
From a teenage make-up guru doing online tutorials in her bedroom, to a thriving adult who realises art in every form of the word, Lucy Fitzgibbon is empowering women all over through her journey and story.
In sunny Barcelona, her place of residence for two years now, creative Lucy is venturing into another form of art, and has set out on a new path as a tattoo artist.
For her first ‘Irish’ job in her beloved Treaty County, Askeaton-reared Lucy is home for only a few days and she arrives at Beauty HQ on Little Ellen Street with her tattoo gun, book of stencils and bubbly personality.
With my own arm outstretched and my face contorted into a grimace as she prepares to tattoo me, Lucy recalls stories and experiences since moving to mainland Europe.
With one stroke, two strokes, and then the purr of the needle, she starts at the very beginning.
After years of posting about her life on social media as a young girl, Lucy had felt the brunt of the public's sting, and opted for a fresh vision on life, and so she moved to Spain.
“I was obsessed with the art and architecture, and I needed a change,” she says.
In order to find herself, and explore herself as a person, Lucy admits, “it was the best decision I ever made. I have found myself in Barcelona.”
In an area completely different to the Mid-West of Ireland, Lucy refocused.
She got herself a little dog, Bruno, for company, found a partner in Dylan and then fell pregnant in 2022.
However, as she put it herself, “from the highest highs to the lowest lows,” her lovely Lola, her “miracle baby” passed away, unborn, at only 20 weeks.
From that point, the 22 year-old began a new chapter of life, one without her beloved daughter, and one she would have to navigate for the rest of her life.
Reactions are always an interesting part of life, and explaining people's reactions to miscarriage, Lucy says, “I feel like when you have a baby loss before the full term, you're given a space to grieve but it's not for very long, because it 'wasn't a baby',” she explains. “But from still going through it, I don't think that that is the approach people should have”.
She pauses, and with one sharp inhale of breath she states, “losing Lola was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life.”
In an effort to publicly share her journey, she agrees that any baby loss, at any point, is completely valid.
“For 20 whole weeks I had an image in my head of what my life was going to look like,” she asserts.
“My whole entire life until I died I was going to have a daughter, and then it was just gone and taken from me”.
In a brief word of advice to any parent experiencing a situation akin to hers, she says, “don't feel like you should be 'getting over it' faster because you'll never, ever, ever get over it. You should always have a space to grieve your unborn child.”
Lola passed on November 15, 2022, and after 31 hours on the labour ward in Barcelona, Lucy gave birth.
“It's weird,” she says, “but I wish I could relive that moment.
“I thoroughly enjoyed the process of being in labour and it was so heartbreaking because at the end it was all just gone.”
Getting to meet her daughter and to hold her was a grounding experience for the social media star.
“Her due date is in a month, I should be eight months pregnant right now and I am not and I just miss having her even in my belly.”
With a lump in her throat she repeats, “I really, really miss her.”
Now three months since losing Lola, Lucy is in the middle of building her own website to showcase her art. She reveals that she will be launching a 20-piece collection of original art once the site is up and running. Using her art as a form of expression, she agrees that her influences are “what I’m going through in life.”
Looking to the future she says she is excited about what lays ahead.
“2023 is the year for Lucy Fitz, artist,” she exclaims. “I want to travel, be a full-time artist, and surround myself with people I love. My little family in Barcelona, Dylan and Bruno - and Lola, they are my world”.
She reiterates her new mantra, which reminds her, to “not take any negativity, and live life for me.”
After going through something as traumatic as a miscarriage with her first child, Lucy is channelling every ounce of grief and sadness into her passion and continues to serve her unborn daughter every day through her creations.
“After Lola, I didn't want to waste time doing things I didn't want to do, or not being completely satisfied in my life. Art has always been a constant, and my goal is to use my art and my experience with child loss to help other grieving parents.”
Having swapped the make-up bushes for the tattoo gun, Lucy is poised and ready to take on life. She polishes off the last details of her artwork before revealing a delicately formed rose on this reporter's arm, signalling growth and that new chapter in life.