Offaly influencer reflects on the importance of solitude
“Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” Mark 6:31.
This is an invitation from Jesus I need to hear far more than I realize and indeed all of us realize. And it’s an invitation that many find hard to accept. But take it as a direct invitation offered to you from our Lord. Hear Him say this to you. “You, my child, please do come away by yourself to a deserted place and rest for a while.”
A certain brother monk went to his head elder monk, Abbot Joseph, and asked him for some good words of advice. And then the elder monk said to him: "Go, sit in solitude in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything about yourself." Here is something essential, inescapable for any of us. Unless we learn to live with ourselves, how can we live with others? Unless we know ourselves, accept ourselves with honesty and forgiveness, how can we possibly know or accept other people? God created us to be in community. We are meant to live our lives with others, serving them and growing in relationship with them.
But there are times, as Jesus shows us by his example, when we need to break away from others for a while in order to be alone with God. Being away from other people for a while can help us to quiet our souls so that we might pray more honestly and listen to God more attentively. This desire for solitude is often the first signs of real prayer in our lives and the first indications that the presence of God's Holy Spirit in our lives no longer remains unnoticed. This discipline of Solitude allows us gradually to come in touch with this real presence of God in our lives and allows us to taste even briefly the joy, love and peace of heaven. Solitude is independence and helps you find all the answers and peace. Solitude means self care and self love and is never lonely.
Nourishment
Each day of our lives we nourish ourselves with food in order to have the physical energy for our daily activities. Likewise, our spiritual energy requires its own nourishment. Solitude is one way to foster the spiritual realm of life and renew our spiritual energy. What is the meaning of solitude? The dictionary defines it as “the state or quality of being alone or remote from others”. Each day of our life we face numerous people, situations and demands because we are a people who value being a part of the larger world. Solitude is not typically a part of our daily routine.
Many people have a practice of spending a brief period of time daily in prayer and reflection but that is not solitude. To enter into solitude and silence is to take spiritual life seriously. It is to take seriously our need to quiet the noise of our lives, to cease the constant striving of human effort, to pull away from our absorption in human relationships for a time in order to give God our undivided attention. In solitude God begins to free us from our bondage to human expectations and from our judging of others, for there we experience God as our ultimate reality, as the One in whom we live and move and have our being. In solitude our thoughts and our mind, our will and our desires are reoriented Godward so we become less and less attracted by external forces and can be more deeply responsive to God’s desire and prayer in us.
Silence
Silence deepens the experience of solitude in the heart of your soul. In silence we not only withdraw from the demands of life in the company of others but also allow the noise of our own thoughts, strivings and compulsions to settle down so we can hear a truer and more reliable Voice. Reliance on our own thoughts and words, even in our praying, can be one facet of a need to control things, to set the agenda, or at least to know what the agenda is even in our relationship with God.
It is in silence that we habitually release our own agendas and our need to control and become more willing and able to give ourselves to God’s loving initiative. In silence we create space for God’s activity rather than filling every minute with our own. Solitude and silence are not, in the end, about success and failure. They are about showing up and letting God do the rest. They are not an end in themselves; they are merely a means through which we regularly make ourselves available to God for the intimacy of relationship and for the work of transformation that only God can accomplish.
As Fr. John O'Donohue wrote in his book Anam Cara, "Solitude is one of the most precious things in the human spirit. It is different from loneliness. When you are lonely, you become acutely conscious of your own separation. Solitude can be a homecoming to your own deepest belonging. One of the lovely things about us as individuals is the incommensurable in us. In each person, there is a point of absolute nonconnection with everything else and with everyone. This is fascinating and frightening. It means that we cannot continue to seek outside ourselves for things we need from within. The blessings for which we hunger are not to be found in other places or people. These gifts can only be given to you by yourself. They are at home at the hearth of your soul."
Peace
A few days a week when I am in Ireland, I go to the Poor Clares chapel and spend an hour or more praying with Jesus. Many times I bring my Bible or a book on faith and spirituality. Recently I had to give a presentation about my work and way of life so I brought the papers and notes with me and asked Jesus to help me. I figured he knows the story better than anyone. When I went yesterday to the Poor Clares chapel, I only brought my Rosary, which takes me about 30 minutes to pray. The rest of the time I just simply sat in silence with my Lord. Just experiencing his presence and allowing him to put whatever images or thoughts he wanted me to have. Or nothing, just peace, solitude and silence. There is something very healing and helpful that comes from silence and moments of solitude. There is something about silence and solitude that enables us to get refocused.
So often in life we are overwhelmed by busyness. “Busyness” is often a way to wear us down and get us off track. It keeps us from the gentle, clear and refreshing voice of God. So how is it that God is inviting you to "come away" by yourself and "rest"? At the heart of this invitation is a longing in Jesus’ heart that we rest from those burdens which weigh us down unnecessarily. It’s true that there are many good things God calls us to do that can tire us. But this “holy tiredness” is not a bad thing. In fact, being “tired” by the will of God actually deepens our faith and fills us with joy. And that joy lightens our burden.
"Come away and rest"
The main reason for our need to “come away” and “rest” is that there are many things in life that are not part of God’s will. These are burdens we impose upon ourselves unnecessarily. These burdens, more than anything else, are what we need to rest from. Coming away, alone, with Jesus, is a way of getting refocused and clearing out the clutter of life. It’s a way of escaping from our impulses and habits that draw us away from the joyful will of God.
So think about this invitation. Think about it practically. Can you find at least ten minutes today to go find silence so as to rest in the arms of Jesus? Reflect, today, upon how ready and willing you are to accept the invitation from Jesus to come and rest with and in Him. Commit yourself to doing just that. Make the choice, today, to find time to be alone. From that time of solitude, seek the still, small and silent voice of God. Let the quiet and the peace of God’s presence bring clarity and focus to your busy life. Listening to God is an essential aspect to the art of living a generous life.
With so much to distract and distort our thinking it can be helpful to get alone time with God for reflection and solitude. This week's thought for the week offers some helpful insights into the art of being alone with God. Given our aversion to being alone with our thoughts, the biblical emphasis on the importance of silence and solitude is all the more jarring. Jesus Himself began His public ministry with 40 days of silence and solitude, and frequently stole away from His disciples for solitary prayer. Jesus even taught that “when you pray, go away by yourself, all alone, and shut the door behind you and pray to your Father secretly…” (Matthew 6:6).
Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. Solitude begins with a time and place for God, and Him alone. If we really believe not only that God exists but also that He is actively present in our lives healing, teaching, and guiding us, then we need to set aside time and space to give Him our undivided attention.
God's grace
Much of what makes solitude so uncomfortable is what makes it so vital: by stripping away distractions, we are left alone with our thoughts, fears, judgements of others, unfulfilled hopes, resentments, wounds, and worries. They press in with force and clarity, and our half-disguised, half-ignored faults and failures make themselves known. We begin to know ourselves including recognizing where we ourselves fall short and how much we need redemption. Solitude provides space and time to focus on the invisible and eternal. Silence enables us to better hear the voice of God.
In the words of St. Mother Teresa, “God is the friend of silence. His language is silence. And He requires us to be silent in solitude to discover Him. We need, therefore, silence and solitude to be alone with God, to speak to Him, to listen to Him and to ponder His words deep in our hearts. We need to be alone with God in silence and solitude to be renewed and to be transformed. For silence and solitude can give us a new outlook on life. In it we are filled with the grace of God, which makes us do all things with joy.”
Thought for the week
As your thought for the week I invite you to consider the role that solitude can play in your personal spiritual and life journey. Removing yourself from the busy schedule of daily living is beneficial because it will renew your life. Solitude, silent time and space give you the personal freedom to explore the inner dimensions of your existence without the interruptions from people, phone, internet and television. Let me leave you with this challenging prayer that asks for us to pray more deeply in union with God.
"Dear Lord, your example challenges us, not only to pray more deeply, but also to be more intentional about getting away from the demands of life in order to be alone with you. You know how easy it is for us to think this is important, but not to do anything about it. Help us, we pray, to be more intentional and faithful about taking time away to be with you. I want to pray for those who are reading this thought for the week today. I expect some are struck by their need for solitude and are already making plans to get away. But I expect others are feeling overwhelmed. They're thinking that they don't even have enough time to do all that is demanded of them. And now they're supposed to find extra time for solitude! Help them, Lord, to determine what is best. Help them to find time, even short moments, when they can be quiet with you. Encourage them and strengthen them. Lord, help us to hear You call us to a time of rest and peace. Help us to seek You and to accept Your gentle invitation. Lord, I invite You into my heart. Come dwell there and reveal Your tender love. Help us to understand that You know and love us through and through. I give my heart to You, dear Lord. Jesus, I trust in You. All praise be to you, Lord Jesus, for showing us how best to live by your own example. Amen." In closing I would like you to pray a prayer by Joyce Rupp called "Solitude", which goes as follows - "Jesus, companion of my Solitude, sometimes I think that half of me is well-lodged in another world. On rainy days, in times of solitude, my spirit pulls and tugs, crying for home in that other space. All the things here that give my life rhyme and reason fade from view. I am left with the longing to put down my sword of busyness and dwell in the land of simple contemplation. Raindrops on the cottage roof, bird songs in the woods, the taste of morning air, the stillness of the woods, all these draw me beyond to where the other half dwells. Jesus, companion of my Solitude, keep encouraging me to take time for my inward journey. Help me to be faithful to this essential element of my life in Jesus name I pray. Amen."