A mum-of-two has launched a pre-wedding support platform after battling trauma whilst planning her own nuptials
A mum-of-two has launched a pre-wedding support platform after she battled trauma whilst planning her own nuptials.
Amy Patterson, 34, from Manchester, was overwhelmed when her son Charlie, now 15 months, was diagnosed with talipes equinovarus, also referred to as club foot, as well as grieving the loss of her beloved nan, Helen, 76, at the same time as planning her June 2022 wedding.
However, Amy refused to be downtrodden by such a difficult year and tied the knot with her husband, Andy Smethurst, 23, in June 2022 alongside starting her own wedding planning business, Brideplan, that offers pre-wedding counselling to couples struggling with the stress of organising their big day.
“The worst part was that everything was out of my control,” explained Amy, who is also mum to Amelia, six.
Amy was overjoyed when Andy proposed in January 2021 when she was 14 weeks pregnant, but her excitement was overshadowed by the loss of her nan, Helen.
“We would speak nearly every day,” said Amy.
“There is nothing that I wouldn’t tell her and she always had my back. She was always in my corner and my number one supporter.”
She added: “She passed away in December 2020. But Andy had already told her that he had the ring, so she knew he was going to propose.
“I also managed to tell her that I was pregnant in November and she was so happy for us.”
“We had a private scan when I was about 16 weeks pregnant,” explained Amy.
“Then the sonographer said we needed to go to hospital because something didn’t look right with his feet.
She added: “I had never in a million years thought of it. Talipes affects one in 1000 children, according to the NHS. It was a difficult time, but we had to wait until he was here to understand how severe it was.”
Amy gave birth to Charlie on her nan’s birthday – July 18 2021.
“It was really special,” said Amy.
She added: “The chances of it happening were quite rare. We now had another reason to celebrate her birthday. Obviously, my son never got to meet her so it’s also a connection between them as well.”
However, as Amy focused on her baby boy, wedding planning fell by the wayside.
She added: “Then at nine weeks old he had an operation on his Achilles tendon in the back of his heel, then we moved onto boots with a bar between them.
“When he first had the boots on he pretty much cried for 36 hours straight.”
“Before March we started to feel like things were getting back on track,” said Amy.
“But then Charlie caught Covid. Then a few weeks later we got a phone call from nursery saying he was extremely unwell.
“By the time we got there he was shaking and his lips were blue.”
She added: “While rushing him to A&E Charlie had a seizure in the car. It was terrifying but I had to stay calm.
“The doctors started treating him for sepsis and then he was diagnosed with scarlet fever after two days.
She added: “He was extremely ill, he had a fit and his temperature was 41.3 degrees.
“The doctors told us he had developed pneumonia overnight in one of his lungs. It was the worst time of my life.”
“Charlie was just deteriorating in front of my eyes,” said Amy.
“It was absolutely horrific. There is no worse feeling in this world than if you think that your child might not survive, it was horrific.
“After the first episode I wanted to sleep in his room. I was checking his temperature every five minutes.”
She added: “Every time I closed my eyes I was back in that car on the way to hospital with him. Even the drive to nursery would trigger me to feel completely overwhelmed with panic.
“So I reached out to a counsellor. It was really helpful to speak to someone. It made a big difference and allowed me to move forward with the wedding.
However, after browsing various wedding forums Amy realised she was not alone in struggling to plan her big day.
“I ended up coming across some forums and they were really heavy,” explained Amy.
And after benefiting from counselling herself, Amy wanted to offer other couples the same option.
“Most people are engaged between 18 months to three years,” explained Amy.
“Anything can happen. I loved my wedding day and one of the biggest reasons was because of counselling.”
- Delegate: Make a list and ask your wedding party to help with tasks like posting invites or preparing wedding invites.
- Take time outside planning: Give yourself time once a month, a date night where you and your partner don’t talk about wedding planning.
- Reach out for support: If you are struggling reach out to a friend or therapist to talk to, don’t be afraid to seek help when you need it.
She added: “It made such a difference to the way I felt on my day compared to the lead up.”
Launching Brideplan in November 2022, Amy hopes to offer a solution to couples facing one of the most stressful life events.
She added: “Brideplan provides access to qualified BACP counsellors specialising in wedding related issues, offering support with any issues in your life whilst planning your wedding.
“I’m very driven but I’ve also had a lot of support from my family and friends. It’s been a team effort.”
“My wedding was one of the best days of my life,” said Amy.
“It was everything I’d hoped for. I could not have felt better in myself.”
And Charlie is now thriving.
“He’s much better,” said Amy.
“He now only wears his boots overnight and is doing well. It was really special having him and Amelia at our wedding.
“I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend counselling. Reaching out to a therapist to work through my issues allowed me to enjoy every single second of my big day.”
Find out more at www.brideplan.co.uk