Mum who had £40k debt says her spending addiction ‘makes sense’ after ADHD diagnosis and now has app giving money advice

A mum diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at the age of 38 has said the “reassuring” discovery made her realise why she “lost friends” and racked up £40,000 of debt.

Maddy Alexander-Grout, 39, founder of the Mad About Money app, who lives in Southampton with her husband James, 42, and their children Ben, eight, and Harriet, four, began to suspect that she had ADHD when googling the condition after her son’s teachers thought he may be neurodivergent.

She realised that “all of the things that describe ADHD” described her, and it “made (her) entire life make sense”.

Maddy began to understand why she had always “really struggled with relationships” and why she felt “odd” and “didn’t really fit in”.

Maddy also thinks her ADHD added to her “spending addiction”, which led her to accumulate more than £40,000 of debt in her 20s, as she was “constantly craving dopamine” and got that “from buying things”.

Now, Maddy has paid off all of her debt and is no longer addicted to buying things – she is also helping others manage money through her app, Mad About Money, where there is a “community” for “neurodivergent people” to get money advice.

Her son, Ben, is also on the path to potentially getting a diagnosis which Maddy said will make her feel “the same relief” as when she got diagnosed.

Maddy told PA Real Life: “It’s debilitating at times and I get so distracted by things – so if my phone goes off, and I look at something, it would take me half an hour to get back to the thing that I was originally doing because I can’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing.

“At work, I’m double booking myself, I’m forgetting to invoice things, and I forget birthdays and to send cards, and I’ve fallen out with friends, and lost friends, because of this.”

In July 2022, Maddy was told by her son’s teachers that he may have ADHD, and after googling the condition, she began to think she may have it too.

She said: “The more I searched, the more TikTok began showing me content about ADHD, and I suddenly thought, that’s me – all of the things that describe ADHD are me.”

Maddy booked a private consultation with an ADHD coach, as well as an ADHD specialist, who both confirmed that she had the condition.

“I’ve really struggled with relationships, with friendships – I’ve always been the sort of person that hyper-focuses on one person.

“When I had a best friend I just wanted that person to just be my friend and nobody else’s.

“I didn’t really get on at school and the workplace – I was an oversharer and I always felt like I was odd, that I didn’t really fit in.”

Maddy wanted to try medication to help her symptoms but has been on the NHS waiting list for more than a year.

After her diagnosis, Maddy began looking back on her life and realised there were many markers for ADHD in childhood.

She said: “Really luckily, I kept all of my school reports – there were so many comments like ‘Maddy would do better if she applied herself, Maddy needs to stop daydreaming, Maddy needs to concentrate on the task at hand, Maddy would be good at this subject if she enjoyed it’.”

Maddy also thinks ADHD contributed to her spending addiction – in her 20s she accumulated more than £40,000 of debt.

She said: “I had a spending addiction – I think, looking back, I was bad with money at the time because I was constantly craving dopamine and I got dopamine from buying things.

“So, when I got diagnosed it was a relief – it made me realise I wasn’t bad with money, I wasn’t a bad friend, I wasn’t a bad girlfriend, it was just that my brain operates differently to other people’s.”

However, Maddy also sees the positive side of having ADHD.

She said: “It can be amazing – I hyperfocus on my business so much that every day, no matter how much I feel, I push forward because I want to grow this business.

“I’m incredibly creative and always think outside the box.

Day-to-day, Maddy has adopted techniques to help manage her ADHD symptoms.

She said: “I have to rationalise my thoughts on whether they are going to hurt me or not.

“I’m currently working on acknowledging a feeling, analysing it, and then parking it and moving on.

“I have multiple alarms, a strict calendar, as well as a family calendar so my husband can remind me of anything that I’ve forgotten.”

Maddy’s son, Ben, is also potentially getting an ADHD diagnosis.

She said: “We waited a bit longer because we were told that age eight is around the right time to get a diagnosis for children.

Now, Maddy runs a social networking app, Mad About Money, to help people manage their finances and give them support.

She said: “It’s an app for everyone but we’ve got a whole section on there for neurodivergent people – it’s a community for supporting neurodivergence in the workplace, business, money, mental and physical health.

“We specifically made it so it isn’t an addictive platform – we want to promote positivity.

“We don’t have ads on there as we don’t want people to be encouraged to buy things – if they want to buy things, they can go to other apps.

“It doesn’t have likes or followers – it’s all about supporting others.”

Looking back on her experience, Maddy said: “I’m so happy I made the steps to get diagnosed – it’s changed my life for the good.”