Mum with different size breasts who was refused NHS surgery reveals crass comments by ex-partner who said ‘get boob job’

A mum with an extremely rare disorder which means one of her breasts is three sizes bigger than the other, is desperate to have surgery, after being rejected by the NHS and being insulted by ex-boyfriends, one of whom said she had “the worst tits he’d ever seen”.

Charlotte Hayes, 23, who lives alone with her six-year-old son Jasper in Folkestone, Kent, was diagnosed with Poland syndrome as a teenager, after an ex-boyfriend complained about her breasts and suggested she should have a “boob job”.

The hurtful comments have left her feeling embarrassed to take off her top during sex, and having “bouts of hating herself”, which she hopes to overcome by having breast reconstruction surgery.

Poland syndrome, which affects fewer than one in 10,000 people according to the National Human Genome Research Institute (NHGRI), stops muscles on one side of the chest from fully developing.

While Charlotte, who dreams of working in the fashion industry, has learnt to live with different sized breasts, one of which is tubular, she does not want “weird boobs” and would like breast reconstruction surgery.

She does not qualify for the operation on the NHS and has launched a fundraiser on GoFundMe for £6,000 to help pay for the operation.

But after posting about her fundraiser on TikTok, Charlotte received a backlash from people online, saying it is an “awful waste of other people’s hard-earned money” and telling her to “get a job”.

“Mainly, I don’t want weird boobs to be honest.

“I feel like the operation would change my life and that I won’t have so many bouts of hating myself.

“I have spent most of my life having sex with a top on and I didn’t want to wear a bikini.”

Despite working two jobs and receiving a small income from her TikTok channel, which has 15.5 million likes, Charlotte said she is “barely getting by”.

To help cope with the nasty comments, Charlotte refers to her smaller breast as her “Nemo boob”, after the main character of the 2003 animated movie, about a clown fish with one abnormally small fin.

“I was born with it, but didn’t realise until I hit puberty and obviously as a young girl I was concerned that my chest looked weird,” said Charlotte.

“For years my mum told me that it was normal, that my body was going through changes and that I would grow out of it, but I never did.

“Then when I was 18 I went to the doctor’s about it and they referred me to a breast specialist, who pointed out it was Poland syndrome with a tubular breast.

“So I got a double whammy there – great.”

One of the reasons Charlotte had decided to visit the doctor was because her boyfriend at the time had been complaining about her breasts.

“I have had lots of boyfriends make comments about it.”

Recently Charlotte tried a type of “exposure therapy”, a technique commonly used to help people overcome anxiety, by gradually exposing them to the situation they fear.

“I tried not wearing a bra, and wearing tight fitted tops, and just ignoring the fact that it’s really obvious,” she said.

“But I’ve just had so many comments, especially from women, which really upsets me.”

One woman commented on her video “Oh I know which one’s your boyfriend’s favourite, you look good though”.

“Like I get they think it’s fun, but it’s not for me because it’s something I’ve dealt with since growing boobs.”

Charlotte has come up with an “amusing” technique to help her deal with the childish comments people make.

“He’s got that little fin, which he calls his lucky fin.

“Well I call it my Nemo boob because it’s my lucky boob.”

This year Charlotte had her first bra fitting at Victoria’s Secret.

“When I went to see the breast specialist they said I could get a tailored pad that goes inside the bra,” explained Charlotte.

“But I had never gone for a bra fitting in my life because I was too embarrassed.

“I’ve either got to have one empty cup or one spilling out.”

“I’ve got more comfortable with it, not because I like it but because there is nothing I can do about it right now,” she said.

“Aside from the pain, it’s just kind of ugly.”

She was hoping to have breast reconstruction surgery through the NHS, but her application was rejected.

“Obviously I did present this to an NHS Trust panel three years in a row, but I got declined each year,” she said.

“They’ve obviously got a limited amount of funding and have to prioritise really ill people.”

For Charlotte to have the surgery privately will cost between £4,500 and £7,000, money she does not have.

She is currently on a paid marketing apprenticeship scheme and works in a bar in Folkestone at weekends to supplement her income.

But having to care for her son Jasper, with whose father Charlotte has no contact, Charlotte is only left with a few hundred pounds to spend on food at the end of each month.

“I’m working two jobs and living on my own and we’re barely getting by,” she said.

“I’m interested in the fashion and beauty industry, I would love to work as a stylist,” she said.

“I have big dreams, lots of big ambitions.”

The operation, she hopes, will help make these dreams come true and give her the confidence to wear what she likes.

“If I had done the surgery at 18, I wouldn’t have been doing it for myself,” said Charlotte.

“I would have been doing it for the men I was with.

“But now I am doing it for me.

“I feel like it will make me feel good about myself and make me do better and motivate me.”

Her fundraiser, which was launched on March 11, 2024 has received more than £150 so far.

“I feel like I’m a pretty regular person and that I’m nothing special, but the kindness of strangers always makes me feel really, really thankful,” she said.

“You just see the number on the screen and when it spills out into real life, you realise what a difference it can make.

“I’m incredibly thankful.”

To support Charlotte visit: www.gofundme.com/f/2cwduu-breast-reconstruction-surgery.