'Never Let Go of My Hand' launched

“I was in my fifties and the grandchildren started arriving. I don’t know what stirred me but something stirred me to the point that I knew if I didn’t go, I was on the verge of a breakdown. There is no question of that.”

These are the powerful yet poignant words of Creggan native Johnny McCallion, speaking to Derry Now about his enthralling, recently published memoir Never Let Go of My Hand.

Never Let Go of My Hand was officially launched last Saturday and details Johnny’s search for his birth mother, Rose Kelly.

Johnny, who recently celebrated his 80th birthday, attributed the writing of the book to the encouragement of his friend, Sr Bernadine, then principal of the Nazareth House primary school, who told him: “Johnny, you must write your story  - if not for yourself, then for others, so that you may help people going through the same pain that you are experiencing now.”

IN PICTURES: Johnny McCallion book launch - 'Never Let Go Of My Hand'

Photos - Tom Heaney, nwpresspics

Johnny, who started writing Never Let Go of My Hand in 1996, said initially he had struggled with the idea of looking for Rose. 
With evident emotion, Johnny said: “I knew from quite young we had been adopted. I found out by accident. 

“So, these feelings were stirring up in me and all I ever wanted to do was tell her [Rose] that I was happy and it turned out we had been well cared for and we had two of the greatest people you could have asked for as Mammy and Daddy.”
Johnny’s mammy and daddy were Eddie and Mary McCallion, who were from Derry and he was adopted from the Nazareth House in Fahan. 

“He added: “I did a lot of tracing and I was able to find that I had been in Belfast first, at six weeks I think it was, in St Joseph’s, and then I transferred within a month of that to Fahan. I was about 18 months old when Mammy and Daddy came along and I was with them from that.

“They lived in St Patrick’s Terrace in Pennyburn at that time. My granny and granda McCourt, my mammy’s people, lived on Lecky Road and my father’s people lived on Beechwood Street. Mammy worked in the shirt factory at the time, so I spent a lot of time with my Ma and Da as I called my granny and granda McCourt. The McCallion’s were my granny and granda,” said Johnny with great affection. 

Johnny eventually began tracing Rose following a heart-to-heart conversation with Sr Bernadine.  

“I was reared by two of the greatest people you could ever ask for as parents,” said Johnny. “I never wanted to hurt Mammy or Daddy. It was as simple as that. It was never about replacing them. They weren’t replacing Rose, to me. 

“It was about a concern I had that if Rose was having regrets about things, to let her know it was all okay. 

“A lot of soul-searching went on. There was a lot of ‘I’m going, no I’m not. I’m going, no I’m not’. When I did go, the revelations within 10 weeks, took me from nothing to everything and I mean everything. For example, it turned out I was not Rose’s first child,” said Johnny, with a pause, who described this time as “traumatic” and paid tribute to the “unfailing support” he had received from his wife, Sally and his children: Edward, Stephen, Emmet, Catherine and Mary. 

During what he described as his ‘journey’ Johnny has met all of his biological siblings. He had three brothers and a sister. Sadly, two of his brothers are deceased. 

“It was strange,” reflected Johnny, “because Mammy and Daddy had adopted Kevin (who died in 2009) and Nuala and Marion and me. We are brothers and sisters but we did not have the same biological parents.  

“I also met Rose’s family, who are from an area between Draperstown and Desertmartin in County Derry, slowly but surely. 

“At the end of the day, it was an amazing journey,” said Johnny. “The ‘problem’ was then I could not get an end to the book. And then my daughter adopted her son ‘the wee man’ and that brought me full circle,” said Johnny, his voice catching. 

“At that moment, for the first time, I made a connection with Rose Kelly and the connection I made that day was so real, it was unbelievable. 

The proceeds of the launch of Never Let Go of My Hand have gone to the Foyle Hospice. The event raised a fantastic £1,470.
Johnny said: “The book was never about making money. The book was to tell the story. As regards the Hospice, my brother Kevin who died in 2009 there and Sally’s brother, Michael, also died under the care of the Hospice.”

In the beautiful ending to Never Let Go of My Hand, Johnny wrote: “As I look back over those 80 years, one thought I have is that I hope my wild Irish Rose is proud of what I have done with the only gift she could give me when she found herself pregnant with me back in 1942 … the gift of life.

“Today, as I reflect on what might have been if Mammy and Daddy hadn’t said yes to God’s plan for them to be the parents of the four of us, coming from different places and knitting us into a family, I thank God from the bottom of my heart for their selflessness.”

Never Let Go of My Hand will be available to buy at Little Acorns (Great James' Street) and Foyle Books (Craft Village) from next Tuesday.

It is also available from Amazon now at https://amzn.eu/d/0gVlaUy