Pauline’s battle between mental health and ovarian cancer

For Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month this March, the County Derry Post talked to one woman who fought the disease. It is estimated by Target Ovarian Cancer that over 7,000 women are diagnosed with ovarian cancer every year in the UK. The following article retraces Maghera woman Pauline Donnelly's journey with her mental health against the disease.

The mental toll of cancer is often overlooked when fighting the disease. Beyond the physical  symptoms and fatigue, addressing mental health is crucial.

Pauline Donnelly discovered she had ovarian cancer at 57 after initially putting her symptoms down to menopause.

After many weeks of chemotherapy, the hospital told Pauline that she would not be able to have surgery to remove traces of cancer.

Pauline and her husband looked for other opinions before successfully having the surgery performed.

“The mental health [side] was terrible,” said Pauline.

“After surgery, I basically couldn't walk, I couldn't move my legs. I've just learned basically how to walk and everything. 

“ The doctor said ‘We have sliced right through your cord so these muscles need to recover and you need your core to move your legs’,” said Pauline.

After perseverance and many laps around the house for small walks, Pauline finally regained  the full use of her legs. Pauline said she was lucky to have no complications post-surgery such as infections or injury.

At the moment her cancer is stable.

However, she said that there is not a day that cancer does not come onto the table.

“Mental Health was a major issue. I didn't think I was terribly affected by it. I just believed I would get the treatment and I believed that treatment would work,” said Pauline. 

“Before we started the treatment. I got very scared, I remember sitting in the hospital and I thought if they don't get me started on the treatment, I'm not going to make it,” said Pauline.

“ I'm not going to be here for treatment. That was very scary but then once treatment started in that first couple of cycles, I was quite positive. 

“Then the blow came when I thought I wouldn’t get surgery. It was absolutely horrendous. It was all panic attacks in the middle of the night just crawling out of the bed on all fours. It was just horrendous."

After treatment, Pauline explained that she suffered from post-traumatic stress. 

“I was so poorly mentally and I struggled an awful lot with where I've been, what I've been through, having to accept to live with that. Having to accept I got it in the first place and having to live with it for the rest of my life.”

Pauline found a bit of comfort in writing poems about her journey through cancer. 

“I did write a couple of wee poems and things that can help me a wee bit with mental health. But the mental health is a big thing.

“When you're in it, you just know you have to keep going, you have to do the best you can. “You're trying to do exercises as well as you can. 

“But then when it's over, then you have to process where you've been and what you've come through and how horrendous it was.”

Pauline explained that you do not have a choice and you need to keep going forward. 

“You have the choice to just get overwhelmed and freeze your life or you can just try and get on with as best you can. And that's what I choose to do,” said Pauline.

“I do get days where I have strong emotions again, I can be quite tearful and scared.

“This is how I feel today. I just have to let myself feel less today. And then tomorrow, I'll reset and get back on track and that's just how I function."

Mental health also affects the close family

Pauline’s mental health was not the only one severely tested. Her husband did have his share of stress due to his wife’s uncertain future before her treatment. 

“I honestly think it was horrendous for him. There were days I would say it was far worse for him than it was for me,” said Pauline.

“He was just devastated.”

Pauline’s husband is a biologist and he threw himself in research papers to find a way to help his wife. 

“He just threw himself into research and he actually found Target Ovarian Cancer.”

Target Ovarian Cancer has helped Pauline and her husband massively she said, through advising and mental health help. 

Pauline was treated at the City Hospital but when they refused to give her the surgery her husband sought the opinion from another hospital. 

“If the hospital wouldn't give me surgery in Belfast, he'd already decided to talk to the Christi [Hospital in Manchester]. We just told them we just need to be sure that we've tried everything. 

“He threw himself into that and he discovered a type of testing you can do that is called HRD testing.”

HRD testing, also called homologous recombination deficiency (HRD), is a type of test used to determine which treatment is the best for the patient. Target Ovarian cancer explains that a piece of the tumour is taken during the surgery or biopsy to be tested afterward. 

 “Through his research and discussion with Target Ovarian Cancer Support, he was able to get a bit more information. 

“He pushed the team in Belfast and asked when we went up to do the surgery, ‘Would you please take a sample of Pauline's tissue at the point of surgery for HRD testing?’" 

After further discussion between Pauline, her husband, and the hospital staff, they agreed to sample a bit of Pauline’s tissue for HDR testing. 

“That test turned out to be really vital in my going forward. [...] It actually changed the pathway going forward. Because if we hadn't known [the results of the HDR testing], I wouldn't have gone on this journey with this [certain] treatment. 

“If my husband hadn't done all that research and found out all of that and pressed for it we wouldn't have known.”

Cancer and mental health are closely tied and charities such as Target Ovarian Cancer provide support with different medical bodies. 

You can find out more about the charity’s work, and how to seek help, at: www.targetovariancancer.org.uk