Top tips to help reduce tension at Christmas dinner and protect your mental health

As Christmas approaches, many people look forward to reconnecting with loved ones around the dinner table. However, the festive season can also bring heightened emotions, unresolved disagreements, and old dysfunctional family dynamics that sometimes lead to tension.

To support people navigating these moments, Irish mental health charity Turn2Me has published four practical tips to help keep the peace during family gatherings, while safeguarding your mental health.

1. Set Boundaries Before the Meal Begins

Let family members know, gently and respectfully, which topics you’d prefer to avoid, whether it’s politics, relationships, or other sensitive subjects. You don’t need to justify your boundaries; simply saying, “Let’s keep today relaxed and positive,” can set the tone. Protecting your mental wellbeing often begins with communicating your needs ahead of time.

2. Take Short Breaks When You Need Them

Big family dinners can be noisy, emotional, or overstimulating. If you start feeling overwhelmed, give yourself permission to step away. A quick walk, a moment outside for fresh air, going into another room to unwind with a book and a cup of tea, or even offering to “check on something in the kitchen” can help you reset. These small breaks act as emotional breathers, preventing minor irritations from building into bigger conflicts.

3. Keep Alcohol Intake Low to Stay Grounded

Alcohol can quickly escalate tension, lower inhibitions, and make disagreements more likely. Choosing to keep your alcohol intake low, or opting out entirely, can help you stay emotionally balanced and better able to navigate tricky conversations. Staying grounded allows you to respond rather than react, reducing the chances of misunderstandings and protecting the atmosphere around the table.

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4. Focus on Shared Moments, Not Old Conflicts

Family gatherings are an opportunity to create positive memories. Shift conversations toward shared interests, funny stories, festive plans, and topics that bring people together rather than pull them apart. If a conflict arises, don’t feel obligated to resolve deep-seated issues during Christmas dinner. A simple “Let’s talk about this another time” can diffuse tension and keep the focus on enjoying the moment.

“By preparing ahead of time, staying mindful of your emotional needs, and guiding conversations toward connection, you can make Christmas dinners more enjoyable, and far better for your mental health.” Fiona O’Malley, CEO of Turn2Me, said, “This season is about warmth, kindness, and togetherness, and with a few small strategies, the holiday table can be a place of peace rather than pressure.”