Ballerina, 81, says dance helped with loss of daughter and proves ‘grey hair’ should not stop you trying new things

An 81-year-old ballerina has said dance has helped her heal after losing her theatre-loving daughter and proves that having “grey hair” should not stop you from trying new things.

Sandra Kennell, who lives in Leicester with her husband Tony, 84, rediscovered her passion for ballet at 78 – it was her “first love” as a child.

Despite initial nerves, she embraced Age UK’s Silver Swans classes, finding joy, friendship and a sense of community, and it brought her closer to her late daughter, Antonia Collins, who had a background in theatre and gave her a pair of ballet shoes, making Sandra feel like a “real ballerina”.

When Antonia died in April 2023, aged 53, with a brain haemorrhage, Sandra struggled to continue dancing and could not bear to look at the shoes.

However, she persevered, eventually finding ballet healing and imagining conversations with her daughter, and now believes life should not stop as we age.

Sandra told PA Real Life: “Ballet eventually helped soften the blow of losing Antonia really.

“I can still enjoy thinking about what I would have said to her and what she would have replied, so I think it has definitely helped.

“And of course, there are other ladies there – Age UK has helped me build a network of supportive older ladies.

“Just because we have grey hair doesn’t mean we should be invisible or stop doing things!”

Sandra began ballet lessons at around the age of five and continued until she was 12.

She described it as her “first love” until she joined secondary school, at which point it “had to be put on the back burner”.

In 2020, she came across an article in a magazine about Queen Camilla taking up ballet classes for older learners called Silver Swans, designed by the Royal Academy of Dance.

She recalled: “I thought, oh gosh, what I would give to go to something like that.”

Unfortunately, there were no Silver Swans classes in Leicester at the time, leaving her “very disappointed”.

However, in 2021, aged 78, Sandra visited Age UK Leicester Shire and Rutland and was “overjoyed” to find a Silver Swans class listed on their weekly curriculum.

Feeling “a little bit nervous”, she attended her first class but was quickly put at ease by a group of “lovely people”.

Initially, Sandra used soft shoes, but it soon became clear that she would benefit from having “proper ballet” shoes.

One day, after discussing this with her daughter Antonia, an international stage manager and former lecturer at the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama, Sandra was overjoyed when Antonia ordered her a pair.

“Doing ballet brought us closer together,” Sandra explained.

“We were chatting away about it, and she said, ‘Oh, by the way, mum, your ballet shoes are in the post!’

“And bless her, they came – it made me feel like a real ballerina.”

Sandra attends weekly classes where her teacher “treats (them) exactly as she would treat a normal ballet class”.

The sessions include warming up and using a chair as a barre as their hall does not have one.

“We’re in two long lines, going through these barre exercises, and I think it’s so good for your memory,” she said.

“I mean, we don’t always get it right, but when we’re dancing together, it is lovely to see.

“Then we’ll do little pieces of dance, maybe in couples or on our own.

“We have a chat about the different ballets … we did Swan Lake not long ago.

“We have a lot of fun. It’s so calming and grounding, and the friendships we’ve built through dancing are priceless.

“We’ve bonded over our love for dance.”

In April 2023, Sandra’s daughter Antonia unexpectedly died, aged 53, after she suffered an intracerebral haemorrhage, a sudden bleeding into the brain tissue.

Sandra found this time “very hard” – and after Antonia’s death, she struggled to return to ballet.

“When she passed away, the awful thing was, I looked at these shoes and to be honest I nearly threw them in the bin,” Sandra said.

“I could not bear to look at them.

“I know that seems a silly thing, but that’s just how I was. I thought I’d never go back to that class because the music in ballet is wonderfully uplifting and soaring. I used to tell Antonia all about it.

“Antonia’s great love was opera and we shared so much together. When she passed, that whole piece of my life went; it just shut down because I had no one else to share it with.”

With encouragement from her teacher, however, Sandra returned to class after about a month.

She said: “I thought, come on, come on, your daughter would not want you to just give up on life.

“So I took myself back, and Jeanette (the teacher) said, ‘Look, if the class gets too much or the music gets too overwhelming, just step to one side or go home and come back another week’.

“Once or twice, I felt that way, but I pushed through and it’s been so good for me.”

Sandra now thinks ballet “softened the blow” of losing her daughter and, at 81, she never expected to be dancing again.

She added: “We’re so lucky to have Age UK, and I’m absolutely passionate about making the most of the third stage of life – it isn’t the end.”

As well as ballet, Sandra has turned to Age UK for other support, such as helping friends arrange cleaning services and getting advice on being a power of attorney.

“They have been brilliant,” she said. “I’d recommend anyone to go into an Age UK.”

Sandra is supporting the Omaze Million Pound House Draw, for a house in the Lake District, in aid of Age UK. To find out more, visit: omaze.co.uk.