‘My mum died with dementia so I trekked 100km across Sahara in tribute to her – my new challenge is no more challenges’

A 58-year-old who trekked 100km across the Sahara Desert in tribute to her late mother has vowed to never take on another challenge after learning she is “enough”.

Mary-Joy Albutt, head of dementia care at Avery Healthcare, from Kidderminster, Worcestershire, lost her mother Judy, who had lived with Alzheimer’s disease for 12 years, on Mother’s Day 2022, aged 85.

Having completed several half marathons, Mary-Joy wanted to set herself a new challenge and she therefore signed up for a five-day charity trek across the Sahara Desert in northern Africa.

From February 23 to 27, Mary-Joy said she walked for eight or nine hours a day across sand, dried-up sea beds and corals, covering 20km to 24km each day, with temperatures reaching up to 35C.

Mary-Joy, who lives with her 52-year-old husband Peter and two sausage dogs Billy and Buddy, said she found the second day the most emotional but described the “sunsets, sunrises and stars” as the best parts.

Having now completed the challenge in memory of her mother while raising funds for the charity Alzheimer’s Society, Mary-Joy said the “biggest learning” for her is that she is enough.

“Some people might need to push themselves out of their comfort zone to feel they need to grow, but for others, it’s OK to say, ‘Actually, I’m going to stay in my safe place’,” Mary-Joy told PA Real Life.

“I spent my whole life trying to prove something to myself or to other people – feeling like I’m never enough – and actually, now I know that it’s OK for me to be me.

“So, my next challenge is to never set myself a challenge like that again.”

Mary-Joy, who is currently studying her PhD at the Association for Dementia Studies (ADS) at the University of Worcester, said she noticed changes in her mother’s speech “long before changes in her memory”.

Judy retired from a five-decade career in nursing, aged 73, and just six months later she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease – the most common type of dementia.

“The very first sign I knew that there was something wrong was I saw changes in her speech,” Mary-Joy said.

“She then started having cognitive changes, so she couldn’t do the crossword anymore, and she was beginning to have severe memory issues.”

Judy’s symptoms progressed over the following years until she had a mini stroke in 2020, which left her unable to speak for the two-and-a-half years before her death on Mother’s Day 2022.

Despite not being able to say “a single word” before she died, Mary-Joy found visiting her mother “soothing” and said she learned to “make friends with the dementia rather than fighting it”.

“It was the only time in my life I was actually able to sit in a room with her and hold her hand and just enjoy her presence in a way I couldn’t before,” Mary-Joy said.

Before her mother’s death, Mary-Joy had taken up running as this helped to “clear (her) head”, and she completed several half marathons from October 2022 onwards.

However, in the spring of last year, she decided she “wanted something different to do” – and this is how she discovered the five-day trekking challenge across the Sahara, organised by Discover Adventure.

She said: “It had been raining and it was cold and wet and damp, and I just thought, ‘sunshine, sand, yes, let’s do that’.”

To prepare for the trek, Mary-Joy trained on the Maspalomas Sand Dunes in Gran Canaria in January, braving conditions similar to those in the Sahara.

She said she slept in her shed with just a sleeping bag in preparation for the desert nights, where conditions can drop to minus 5C, and she planned six-hour walks on the weekends.

“I had a good plan going with my husband, where if I walked along the canal for three hours, I’d get to a lovely pub, so he’d come with the dogs for a pub lunch, and I’d walk home again,” she said.

After flying from London Gatwick Airport to Casablanca in Morocco and then travelling to their starting location, Mary-Joy began the first day of walking with the group on February 23.

She said she did not sleep the first night, as she suffered with “horrendous hip pain and sciatica”, and she “fell apart” on the second day, meaning she travelled some of the distance on camelback that day.

“One of the things I realised is that I am strong emotionally, but that’s because I’ve got Peter protecting me – I’ve got the security, I’ve got my home and my sausage dogs and I’ve got Peter,” she explained.

“It made me realise just how much that makes a difference to me because, in a situation where I didn’t have that security, that’s when I started to feel wobbly.”

Mary-Joy said her typical daily routine for the trek involved waking at 6am, stretching, eating breakfast, walking for three to four hours, eating lunch, and then walking another three to four hours before dinner.

Food was provided by Discover Adventure and included porridge, salads and couscous, and Mary-Joy carried her own energy bars with her as snacks.

Describing her evening routine, she said: “As soon as we got back from our eight or nine hours walking, we’d do stretches and then we’d have to get the tent up and sort ourselves out.

“Then we would have a cup of mint tea on a sand dune, watching the sun go down.

“On the last night, I went up on a sand dune on my own and just slept up there under the stars.”

After finishing on February 27, Mary-Joy travelled home from Marrakesh in Morocco and has been recovering ever since – she has raised more than £2,000 of her £2,200 target so far.

Alzheimer’s Society statistics estimate there are currently 982,000 people living with dementia in the UK, and Mary-Joy wants to continue raising awareness and encourage people to be vulnerable.

Sharing her advice, she said: “My biggest message is, when you’re struggling, just ask for help.”

To find out more or donate, visit Mary-Joy’s fundraising page at: dasaharatrekfeb25.enthuse.com/pf/mary-joy-albutt.