‘My husband died of a sudden heart attack after having backache – now I’m a thriving digital nomad with my kids in Bali’

A widow whose husband died suddenly with a heart attack after complaining of backache has moved with her two sons to Bali to become a “thriving” digital nomad.

Kate Marillat, 44, an emotional resilience coach and mentor, lost her husband Nigel, aged 47, to a sudden heart attack in May 2020 – leaving her to solo parent her two boys Kieran, 13, and Seb, 10.

Kate had dreamed of becoming a digital nomad – someone who travels and works remotely – and previously worked in Paris, but family life kept her anchored at their home in Peacehaven, East Sussex.

She finally took the leap in September and moved to Sanur in Bali, where she and her Buddhist husband Nigel had spent their honeymoon in 2010.

She and her sons now live in a three-bedroom villa with a pool and enjoy daily activities like surfing and snorkelling, and she said her money goes “three times further” – allowing her to privately educate her sons and eat out more often.

After Nigel’s death, Kate initially felt she was living in an “altered state of consciousness”, but her background as an author and coaching helped her through the hard days, taking her from “surviving to thriving”.

“It was the hardest day of my life when Nigel died,” she told PA Real Life.

“All of a sudden, you go from married to a widow to solo parent, you have these labels, and you think, ‘Who am I now? What do I want to create? What life do we want to lead?’

“Sometimes you need to take a step out of the life you’re in to figure out what that’s going to be when you go back.”

In November 2019, Kate and her husband Nigel had just welcomed a puppy into the family.

At the time, Kate worked from home, running online training sessions for practitioners, while Nigel, a Buddhist, worked at a merchant bank in Brighton – and they lived a “standard life”.

Kate said: “He was a very ‘Steady Eddie’ and a real family man – he was my rock.”

Although Nigel had always generally been healthy, he had been experiencing backache for several months, but they initially did not think this was cause for concern.

Kate continued: “He used to get a bad back and would practice something called breath work to help him with the pain.

“Since he’d had back pain before, we thought it was just back pain.”

According to the NHS, a heart attack occurs when the supply of blood to the heart is suddenly blocked, and symptoms can include chest pain, feeling lightheaded or dizzy, sweating, shortness of breath or nausea.

Other than back pain, Nigel experienced none of these symptoms – but one night in May 2020, he suddenly collapsed.

“It was very sudden, it was at night, and it was the worst thing that can happen,” Kate said.

“He went into the boys’ bedroom at one o’clock in the morning, which was unusual, and I think on some level his soul knew something.

“The next thing I heard was, he’s collapsed and the boys shouted out.”

Kate called 999 and performed CPR while waiting for paramedics to arrive, but despite their best efforts, Nigel died hours later from the sudden heart attack.

Describing how it felt in the days afterwards, Kate said: “I remember feeling that I had been hit over the head – it felt like a physical bruise on my brain.

“You have brain fog and you wake up in disbelief but… I still felt very close to him.

“He feels like an angel to me now.”

Around a year after Nigel’s death, Kate and the children moved to Saltdean, and she continued to use the techniques she has taught for years, predominantly Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping, which involves tapping on specific points on the body to “clear trauma and emotional distress”, and focused on self-care.

Kate later wanted to change her environment to help her and the children “heal”, and she therefore started looking at options to expand her online business globally and fulfil the dream of travelling and working abroad.

Having previously ventured to Sanur in Bali on her honeymoon with Nigel, which she describes as a “healing, beautiful place”, she decided to choose this location for this new chapter, and the trio flew out in September.

Speaking about the impact on her children, she said: “I would say it’s definitely harder for a teenager than a 10-year-old.

“But they’re surfing, they’re snorkelling, they’ve got friends, they’re out doing wake boarding and boxing – all of these amazing activities.”

Kate explained that Bali has been “wonderful” but “lonely” at times, and she still has to “navigate the emotional waves of solo parenting and financial freedom”.

According to bunq’s Global Living Report, more than a quarter (28%) of digital nomads report saving more, while almost one in four (24%) feel more financially secure – and this has been the case for Kate.

She said she can now send her children to world schools, she can get her laundry picked up, ironed and brought back for about £5 per week and food is “so cheap”.

“These things have allowed me to have more time, more space, more self-care,” Kate explained.

“I can finish my upcoming novel, grow my business and be more present for my kids and send them to private schools, which I couldn’t do in the UK.”

Having had other amazing experiences, like swimming with dolphins on Christmas Day, Kate said they will remain in Bali for the time being.

But in future, once her children are grown up and settled, she wants to adopt the life of a digital nomad travelling and working across the world – and hopes to visit Australia or elsewhere in Asia next.

Kate, a published author in seven languages, said the move has brought her and her children closer together during this grieving process and she would encourage others to “step outside of their comfort zone”.

She said: “When you go through a big life reset and you try and figure out what the next steps are, it’s given me the space to figure myself out again for this next season.

“It has brought us closer as a family, I’ve definitely got more energy here, I’m feeling more grateful, at peace, and it’s made me ready for this chapter and the next one.”

To find out more about Kate and her work, search @kate_marillat on Instagram or visit katemarillat.com.

To find out more about bunq’s Global Living Report, visit: bunq.com/blog/global-living-report.