‘I was inspired by my parents to foster – I adopted my daughter and offer a house full of love to kids who need it most’

A woman with brittle bone disease who feared she would never have children of her own has followed in her parents’ footsteps of becoming a foster carer, even adopting her daughter after she was placed in the care of her mum and dad.

Hayley Finch, 36, was 20 when her parents Carol and Paul decided to become foster carers. Still living at home, she saw the joy it brought them to offer a safe, loving home to children who needed it most, and now she has decided to become a foster carer herself.

She has even adopted her daughter Shirley, now five, after she came into her parents’ care at six-weeks-old, and looks forward to caring for many more children in her Liverpool home.

When Hayley was 20, her parents approached her and her siblings – Emma, now 34, Matthew, now 33, and Amy, now 29 – to tell them they were thinking of fostering children. The siblings all agreed, saying: “We’ve had such a lovely upbringing, so why not give that to another child, who has unfortunately not had that?”

“We were all excited, maybe a bit nervous as well, because obviously we didn’t know what it was going to be, but we were all really excited to share our home,” Hayley told PA Real Life.

Carol and Paul’s first foster child was a seven-year-old, who stayed with them for just over a year, but they’ve had “a real mixed bag” since, from lone babies, to mum and baby pairings, to teenagers.

“Because I lived at home, I’d obviously been there and witnessed it first hand, and I loved it, and I thought that’s something I want to do, when I have my own home,” Hayley said.

Hayley, who has osteogenesis imperfecta – colloquially known as brittle bone disease – had “always wanted to be a mum” but feared passing on her disease, as it is genetic. Fostering children, therefore, seemed to be the perfect way to give a loving home to children who need it the most.

However, Hayley’s fostering journey began with an adoption. Her daughter Shirley came into her parents’ care as a six-week-old infant in 2020, and when Hayley got her own home in 2019 she decided she would adopt Shirley and give her a “forever home”.

“I thought, well, I’m on my own anyway… so why not? There’s all these children out there (that need homes),” she said.

“I started the process. Potentially, they’d found another family for Shirley, but sadly it fell through, and they were going to put back into the system. I was like: ‘No way’.

“She’s part of this family, we all love her to bits. She’d been with us from six-weeks-old, so she doesn’t know any different.”

Initially, Hayley fostered Shirley just before her second birthday, and then the process of adoption began.

The process took a little less than a year, made easier by the fact that Shirley was already in Hayley’s care, though she admits it was “intense at times”.

“I was a bit anxious, because I didn’t want to let her down,” Hayley said.

“She was already living with me, and I thought: I don’t want to be another person in life that’s let her down. So that was my only worry.”

Hayley said she also feared her brittle bone disease would prevent her from fostering and adopting, but she was reassured by social workers that that wasn’t the case – many people with disabilities are able to provide loving, fulfilling homes to children across the country.

Hayley describes her condition as making her bones “like the inside of an Aero chocolate bar, all holey”. It was discovered in utero during scans, and when she was a child Hayley would break bones often as they were so weak and fragile.

Now, a medication called pamidronate has helped to strengthen her bones, and she is able to live a normal life without fear of fractures.

“My disability has (given me the attitude of) if you tell me I can’t do something, I’ll prove a way to do it. That’s what my disability has taught me,” she said.

“It gave me that can-do attitude. They told my mum I’d never walk, and now I’ve got my own house. I’ve got Shirley. I’ve got a foster child in my house as well. I work, I drive, and I just think, you know what? Don’t tell me I can’t do something, because I can!”

Hayley started fostering other children in May 2024, about six months after she adopted Shirley. At first, she provided respite care – short term care of up to a week, giving birth parents or full-time foster parents a break to rest and recharge – as she wasn’t sure how Shirley would feel about sharing her home with other children.

“After my second placement, she said to me: ‘Mummy, why can’t they stay?’,” Hayley said.

“And I was like: ‘Would you like them to stay?’. She said: ‘Yeah, because I’ve got someone to play with!’

“I thought: Oh, bless her. And that kind of made my mind up for me.”

Now, Hayley is officially an approved foster carer with the National Fostering Group and is currently caring for a little girl on a short-term placement, which can be anywhere from six months up to two years, and she hopes to foster many more children in the future – and potentially even provide a permanent home.

“They’re putting plans in place for the little girl I have now, so she’s not going to be with me forever,” Hayley said.

“She’ll have her forever family, and then the next one will come along, and I don’t know, maybe I might get the same feeling that I did with Shirley, and they’ll stay forever.

“We’ll see what comes. But I’m looking forward to definitely helping other children.”

Hayley is passionate about encouraging others to become foster parents, too.

“There’s not enough foster carers out there. There’s more children (that need homes) than foster carers,” she said.

“If you’ve got a spare bedroom and a house full of love, then definitely give it a go. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it.”