‘I adopted my children just in time for Christmas – it was the best decision I ever made’

A Shropshire woman who welcomed her second child through adoption just days before Christmas has described choosing to adopt siblings as “the best decision I ever made”.

Sarah, 44, adopted her son and daughter – who are biological half-siblings – through Adoption Focus in 2022 and 2023, when they were both infants. Now, she’s preparing for another Christmas as a family of three, as well as getting ready to celebrate her daughter’s third birthday on December 25.

Sarah, who lives with her parents in Shropshire, found out that she would be unlikely to be able to have a healthy pregnancy after a routine smear test returned abnormal results. Sarah was told that any pregnancy she chose to have would not be “plain sailing”, and “to be honest, I had no desire to be pregnant and actually give birth to a child”.

However, Sarah did want to have children – and knowing that “there’s enough children around that need and want homes”, she decided to begin the process to adopt a child, and “make somebody else’s life a little bit better than it currently was”, she told PA Real Life.

Around 13 years ago, Sarah began the process of applying to adopt a child through her local authority, but her plans were halted as she became a carer for her elderly grandparents who were living with dementia.

Years went by, and after her grandparents passed away and the Covid pandemic put the world on hold, Sarah decided to once again pursue adoption, this time through Adoption Focus, a West Midlands-based charity and adoption agency.

“It’s the best decision I ever made,” she said.

In 2021, Sarah began the interview and training process with Adoption Focus, a screening and educational process that helps the agency to find the right parents for children who need forever homes, and make sure they are prepared for welcoming a child into their life.

Sarah was thrilled that her mum was able to be by her side for the whole process, including the training sessions. As a single parent, it was so valuable for her to have someone there for support and to learn alongside her, and she felt it made sense since any child she adopted would also be living with her parents, too.

The journey to approval to adopt took around 18 months, and then it was a waiting game while the agency sought to find a match between Sarah and a child that needed a home.

In July 2022, Sarah was at work when the email she’d been waiting for dropped into her inbox. Adoption Focus had found a potential match – a 17-month-old boy.

“I went and sat outside, read this profile, and that was it,” she said, adding that she “got butterflies” as she read the little boy’s report.

“I knew that he was mine.”

As the boy was unable to remain at his current foster home, Sarah took him in as a Foster to Adopt placement – meaning she initially fostered him, allowing him to get settled in what would, hopefully, become his permanent home while the formalities were worked through.

Just 10 days after she opened that email, having gone to meet him a few times, Sarah welcomed her little boy home.

She was able to keep his cot, furniture and clothes that he had at his foster home, getting him set up and settled quickly, but she said it was still something of a “blind panic” as she tried to organise things and decide what the little boy would like in his new home.

“All the children that have been in our family have basically always been girls,” Sarah said.

“So what on earth does a boy want? What toys, what clothes?”

“The dreams that you have when you’re sort of sitting in an exam room, naked, and you haven’t revised – it’s a bit like that,” she added.

“But somehow you manage to just get on, get through. We’re all human, as long as you’re doing your best.”

Meanwhile, Sarah found out that her son’s birth mother was pregnant, and decided to put herself forward as a potential parent for this baby, should that be needed.

“I had said from the outset that I was plan B. Plan A was the birth father’s family… The ideal situation is that they stay within the birth family,” she explained.

The baby was born on Christmas Day 2022 but sadly was unable to stay with her birth family, so Sarah began the process of formally adopting her too. On December 5 2023, Sarah’s daughter joined her family home, just in time for them to celebrate her first birthday and their first Christmas as a family of three.

“(We were) slightly on tenterhooks as to whether she would be here before Christmas… and then, of course, you’ve got Christmas, which is carnage in the best possible way with small children,” Sarah said.

“We all panicked, and then we realised, it’s just another day. And to be honest, as long as the children are happy and content and have got somewhere safe, especially at Christmas, (that’s what matters).”

Now, almost two years on since they became a family of three, Sarah and her children are preparing to celebrate another Christmas. Both her son and daughter are happy in their loving home, with a mum and grandparents there to support them as they grow.

While Sarah and her family want to make Christmas special for her children, especially with it being her daughter’s birthday, they prioritise making “every day special”.

“If I see in a shop a toy or something that I think they’d like, I’ll buy it, because it doesn’t have to wait until one single day a year,” she said.

“It can just be for now, and then they know that you’re there.

“Especially with adopted children, a lot of them have trauma in some way, shape or form. And they can be little terrors at times, they can push you away because they feel unsafe, but if you can show them that you aren’t going anywhere and you’re there forever – if it means that once a month they get a treat – then so be it.”

Sarah is now supporting Adoption Focus’s campaign The Long Wait, which shines a light on the 18-month average time a child waits for an adoptive family.

“That could be two Christmases that they don’t know if they’re going to be safe, they don’t know if they’re going to be loved. They don’t know where they’re going,” she said.

“For a grown up, 18 months is a long time. But when you’re only little, it’s a big chunk of your life.”

For more information about the campaign or to learn more about becoming an adoptive parent, visit www.adoption-focus.co.uk/the-long-wait