Woman caring full-time for mother urges government to support carers over state pension age as her retirement plans are on hold

A woman who is her 94-year-old mother’s full-time carer believes there should be more government support for carers above the state pension age as her plans for retirement have “gone out the window”.

Sara Wise, 66,  a retired NHS project manager, who lives in Reading, began caring for her mother, Jean Autton, a former care assistant, after she fell and broke her leg in October 2023.

Jean was left permanently bed-bound and fully dependent, so in February 2024 Sara and her husband Stephen, 67, a retired senior transport planner, moved into a flat with Jean to provide full-time care.

Sara said her life now revolves entirely around her mother’s needs, rarely leaving her alone for more than an hour and carefully planning every aspect of daily life around care visits.

Sara, a mum of two, told PA Real Life: “I feel like a bird that has very much had my wings clipped, and I don’t know how long it’s going to go on for

“I can’t remember the last time I saw my GP and I know I need to, but I just can’t fit it in.

“I think carers should get priority and go to the top of a wait list to make sure we’re fit enough to be a carer.

“There needs to be a much more holistic approach around being a carer – people focus on the person being cared for but not always the carer.”

Sara said her mother, Jean, was always “very independent”, being “very involved” in her local church and regularly meeting up with friends.

Jean also read extensively, watched television and did the food shopping with the help of her grandchild.

She was even driving until 2020, when her eyesight began to deteriorate.

However, on October 31 2023, Jean fell while coming out of the bathroom with her walking frame.

Sara said her leg “shattered under her”, breaking on impact.

At the time, Sara was living in Swanage with her husband when she received a phone call from her niece’s partner to tell her about the fall.

Sara said: “She’s completely bed-bound now, doubly incontinent.

“She has to be hoisted into her wheelchair.

“She has absolutely no dementia whatsoever so she’s completely, fully aware of how she was before and how she is now.

“She’s very frustrated about now being so dependent.”

Sara’s husband had a flat in Reading for work, and in February 2024 the couple decided to move there with Jean so they could care for her full-time.

Sara’s husband now returns to their home in Swanage every other week to keep an eye on it, while Sara goes down once every eight weeks to catch up with friends, leaving her husband to care for her mum.

Initially, Sara continued working from home in the Reading flat three days a week, but said she “could not do it” and that it was making her “ill”, alongside the demands of caring for her mother.

She retired six months before reaching state pension age, in December 2024.

Sara decided not to claim carer’s allowance as, according to Carers First, those receiving a state pension cannot receive the full amount of both at the same time.

State pension and carer’s allowance cannot be paid together because both replace income – one for retirement, the other when someone gives up full-time work to care for a disabled person.

Pension Credit continues to provide a safety net for low-income pensioners and those with additional needs, such as those with a severe disability, caring responsibility, responsibility for a child or certain housing costs.

It does this by topping up the income to a prescribed level based on the household’s financial circumstances.

“I thought by the time I claimed it (carer’s allowance) and jumped all those hoops, and I was far too busy, it wouldn’t be worth the effort,” Sara added.

“I would suggest that they don’t stop it at state pension age when the caring does not stop then.

“I think the government really needs to look at the postcode lottery in care – I think depending on where you live you get different amounts of respite care.”

Her husband continued working for a further year beyond his state pension age, “which was not the plan”, but he wanted to “get out the house as much as possible” as caring responsibilities became increasingly difficult.

Jean now has four carers visiting the house each day, and Sara’s day-to-day life has “changed completely”.

She said “everything has to be planned” around her mother, who does not want to be left alone for much longer than an hour.

She added: “All my other friends and colleagues are doing the things I want to do, I can’t do anything spontaneous.

“You can’t just go out for dinner in the evening like we used to do because you have to get somebody to sit with mum.”

Sara also said looking after herself has become “a struggle”, as all of her time and energy is focused on caring for her mother.

Sara added that her plans for retirement have since “gone out the window”.

“We saved hard, sorted our pensions, and we can’t spend it,” Sara explained.

“We can’t go anywhere and we’ve no idea how much longer it’s going to go on for.

“My eldest daughter is in Scotland, so the idea was to retire, and spend much more time up there.

“We’ve got lots of friends all over the country.

“I did not plan to be in Reading – even my best friend, when her dad died, moved down to Swanage to be closer to me.

“So she’s down there, and I’m up here now.”

Sara has since found support through The Carents Room – a free, online peer-support community with more than 50,000 members, offering 24/7 advice from healthcare professionals.

She said: “It’s absolutely hard for the entire family – my children don’t get the same of me as they would, my husband certainly doesn’t.

“The support group is just amazing, it’s the only place where you can be completely honest and know that nobody’s going to judge you, and you get sensible advice.

“Even if they haven’t got the answer, they will signpost you and you’re not on your own.

“You feel as if you are, but you’re not.”

A Government spokesperson said: “We understand the huge difference carers make, as well as the struggles they may face.

“Carers on Pension Credit can receive an extra £2,400 a year to help with the extra costs of being a carer, and we are supporting millions of pensioners who will see their state pension rise by £1,900 this Parliament.”

For more information, visit: www.carents.co.uk.