‘I was 8 when Dad took his own life at 37 and I later lost Mum to alcoholism – I’m running the London Marathon for them’

An Isle of Wight man whose father died by suicide at 37 said his mother initially told him his dad “slipped and hit his head”, only for another child in the school yard to reveal the truth days later.

Tyler Smith, 26, who works in commercial property and lives in London, said he was eight when his father, Carl Smith, took his own life after suffering depression for “a fair few years”.

He said this had a knock-on effect for his mother Nicola – better known as Nikki – who used alcohol as a “coping mechanism” that caused health issues and led to her death in August 2025.

Tyler is running the London Marathon on Sunday April 26 to increase awareness around mental health and addiction, and to raise money for the charity Samaritans, which connects people in crisis with trained volunteers through a helpline.

He told PA Real Life: “Life always throws curveballs to people and it’s important to understand that there is always going to be somebody there to listen – that’s what Samaritans provide.

“Ultimately, if my folks were still here, that’s where I’d be directing them to.”

Remembering his father as a “cheeky chappy”, Tyler added he was a “very hard worker” but was “always trying to make people laugh”.

Tyler said his last memory of Carl is the family – including his older brother Sam and younger sisters Sophie and Kira – “all sitting around the table” before he watched his father walk out of the front door that evening in 2008.

He described what happened the next morning: “Mum came and woke me up and I remember she said, ‘Grab your duvet and come to the living room, I’ve got some cereal for you’.

“So I wrapped myself in my blue Harry Potter duvet, went downstairs, and she came and sat down next to me.

“And then she said, ‘We’ve had some really tough news overnight – Daddy’s not coming back’.

“She said that he’d gone out and slipped and hit his head.

“It felt like my childhood completely stopped there. It was a mix of confusion… but I also thought, why me?

“I couldn’t really understand that somebody could be there in your life and then not be there any more,” he added.

The family held a funeral service for Carl where Tyler said it was the “show of people” that he recalls the most, remarking that crowds were “piling out of the door” of the Isle of Wight crematorium.

Tyler said he and Sam had up to a week off school and it was on his first day back that he discovered the truth about his father.

“A friend of mine came up to me and said, ‘Sorry about your dad killing himself’,” Tyler recalled. “I reacted with complete anger and frustration.

“I thought at the time, ‘How dare you turn around and tell me how my dad has passed away’.”

After Tyler got home from school, he told his mother about the altercation: “I remember looking at Mum and just seeing that sheer look of upset on her face because she wanted to be the one that would have that conversation with us.

“Ultimately, she was just trying to protect us from that truth until we were ready.”

Tyler said his sisters – who were both under five at the time – found out the truth “a couple of years later”.

After Carl’s death, Nikki struggled with alcoholism, which is something she also experienced beforehand during her own battle with depression. But when Carl died and she was left with four children to raise by herself, Tyler said alcohol “became an even bigger coping mechanism for her”.

“Mum was two people,” Tyler said of Nikki’s alcohol abuse. “And they really couldn’t have been further apart from one another.

“There was one side that would take on the world for us kids, who was warm, super proud, full of love for us, and always there.

“And then there was this other person that none of us would recognise once the alcoholism and addiction would take over.

“I think that was quite confusing growing up because they’re both one person, but completely different.”

After the grief settled, Tyler said Nikki “started to be able to focus a little bit more on herself” and she had 10 years of sobriety, until she relapsed in 2019 after “her life took a change”.

Tyler said: “Regardless of our hope and offers of help, she struggled. So she ended up homeless and drinking every single day.

“Life really knocked her down.”

Tyler said he ended up “pulling back” from his mother because he felt “numb” to “traumatic and devastating” interactions he had with her in her final years.

As a result, he said he didn’t call her on her birthday on August 5 last year for the first time ever, before she died on August 17.

“Looking back now, I’d give anything to have a phone call, regardless of what state she was in,” Tyler said.

Almost two decades after his father’s death, Tyler said he is still trying to understand what “drove him to do that”, adding: “It’s probably something that I will continue to spend the rest of my life trying to understand because it’s so complex.”

As a way of honouring his father, Tyler said he filled out a London Marathon application for the charity Samaritans, even though he was “never big into running”.

In June, he found out he had secured a spot, then his mother died two months later.

Tyler said: “I initially signed up for Dad and in memory of him, but then losing Mum in August, the run then developed into honouring both of them.”

Since commencing training at the start of the year, Tyler said he has had some of the most “honest moments” with himself while running, which has helped him realise his purpose, perspective and the people who have shaped him along the way.

On his motivation for the day of the marathon, Tyler said: “I’ve got this view that grief is just love with nowhere to go. And for me, this is somewhere to put it really.

“I have the hope that raising money to support Samaritans could give somebody else what my folks never had and that my story doesn’t have to be anyone else’s.

“I can’t think of a better way to carry Mum and Dad forward than with that hope.”

Samaritans can be contacted for free, day or night, 365 days a year, on 116 123, or visit samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.

Donate to Tyler’s fundraiser here: 2026tcslondonmarathon.enthuse.com/pf/tyler-smith