Teacher bullied for being black, gay and HIV positive calls for people to ‘stand up’ after overcoming drug addiction

A teacher who has faced years of discrimination for being black, gay and HIV positive, has spoken about his traumatic experiences, from being turned away by the church to thinking he was a “diseased, filthy, incapable vagabond”.

Joshua Royal, from Wallingford, Oxfordshire, recalls being called the N-word for the first time at ballet school in London before having his face punched into a wall when he was just 12 years old.

The 32-year-old also remembers his adoptive parents saying they could not share the same glass of water and that they would have to wear gloves after he revealed he was HIV positive in 2015, before they learned this would not be necessary.

But Joshua, who turned to drugs and alcohol after his diagnosis, has not let the dark times define his future.

Now two years sober, he is looking to buy a house and start a family with his partner, Andrew Donnell, also 32, and is hoping that his experiences will help inspire others to fight against discrimination.

These are just some of the traumatic experiences which Joshua discusses in From The Margins, a new book which presents the stories of six people who have faced discrimination for their life-changing illness, as well as their race, sexuality, religion or social class.

“Kindness costs nothing,” he told PA Real Life.

“I think if we can all be a little kinder to everyone, we can make a better place for everyone.

“It’s sad that it still goes on, but we have got to be strong and stand up for ourselves and not tolerate it.”

Joshua, who was originally born in Sri Lanka, first came face to face with racism when he moved to London at the age of 12 and started attending the Royal Ballet School in Richmond Park.

“When someone called me a racial slur, I was like ‘What’s that?'” he said.

“I was like ‘What’s this word?’

“I didn’t really know that he was being insulting to me.

“Then I had my head punched into the wall.”

A few years later, Joshua travelled to Croatia for a ballet audition for what was supposed to be fantastic opportunity but instead he did not feel welcome.

“Everyone was just looking at me as though I was a piece of dirt,” he said.

“I was just, like, the outcast.”

In 2015, Joshua’s world came crashing down when he received an urgent call from his clinic asking him to go in immediately.

“They said ‘Do you want a cup a tea? Come and sit down, we’ve got something to tell you. You’re HIV positive’,” he said.

“At that moment, those words, my whole world caved in and I thought ‘How am I going to tell Mum and Dad?’

“They are going to disown me and think I’m such a bad person.

“They’re going to think I am a diseased, filthy, incapable vagabond.”

Feeling “useless and rejected”, Joshua went through a “very dark period” and soon turned to alcohol and drugs.

“I kind of lost my way,” he said.

“That’s when it all kicked off – I just had no self-worth and had the feeling the world was worthless.

“I had no purpose in life, no ambitions, and, when I look back on it, I’m really proud of how far I’ve come.”

Part of the problem is the lack of education surrounding HIV and how it is transmitted, he said.

Joshua had always considered HIV to be a “gay man’s disease” and telling his parents did not go as planned.

“When my parents first found out, they were like ‘We won’t be able to share the same glass and we’ll have to wear gloves’.

“I was like ‘Oh, they’re not going to support me’, but now that they have learned more about it, they are always really supportive.

“Today, they are my best friends.”

Far from being a death sentence, today Joshua’s HIV is undetectable, which means the level in his blood is so low that it would not show up in a standard blood test.

“Now that I’ve got it, I know that there is nothing to fear,” he said.

“You can live a long and healthy life just like everyone else now.

“I take one tablet a day, it’s like taking a vitamin tablet.”

Joshua now lives with his partner, Andrew, and the pair are looking to buy a house together and start a family.

Andrew, who is HIV negative, played a big role in helping Joshua stop using drugs and alcohol after his diagnosis.

“He saved me from a really dark place and for that I will always be grateful,” he said.

Looking back, Joshua believes that his “desire to be loved” and being constantly rejected for being black, gay and HIV positive is what led him down a dark path.

“It comes from the vulnerability of wanting to be loved and succeed in life and being rejected,” he said.

“I was turned away by the church at a young age because I was gay and they said I could not be confirmed because I have sex with men.

“When I came to London, I wanted to find a community of people who I could talk to and have relationships with.”

He has since joined the Oasis Church, which welcomes members of the LGBTQ+ community.

“I’ve met a whole group of people who come together at gatherings, barbecues, and we have a WhatsApp group,” he said.

“That also helped me get on the straight and narrow.”

Today, Joshua has turned the page and is now seeking to help others deal with their diagnosis.

“There was a time when it was a big deal for me,” he said.

“But I think being gay and black, I’ve come to terms with it.

“Whether you’re black, white, beige, it doesn’t matter to me.”

Joshua is one of six people to share their stories in the book From The Margins, published on Wednesday September 13, by Professor David Olusoga OBE and pharmaceutical company Gilead Sciences.

The book, which has been purposely printed in the margins of each page, aims to be the “most difficult book to read ever made”, illustrating the hardship each person has faced.

David says: “The people featured in this book are remarkable.

“They have experienced marginalisation and they have overcome it.

“They have come in from the margins.

“There are millions of others out there who have not.

“Things must change.”