‘Surely lightning can’t strike twice’ – Dad diagnosed with cancer after wife’s death fundraises for life-saving treatment

A father who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer following his first wife’s death with the disease said “surely lightning can’t strike twice” as he raises funds for life-saving treatment overseas.

Paul Garratt, 43, who lives in Saffron Walden, Essex, was first impacted by cancer in 2015 when his wife of 10 years, Heather Garratt, died from breast cancer at the age of 31 – where in his grief, he felt as though “half of you is gone”.

Years later in September 2019, Paul met his now-wife, Rachel, 39, on an online dating app – but during a date night in October 2020, Paul started vomiting uncontrollably and after going to A&E, it was found his bowel was blocked by a cancerous tumour.

Paul, a practising Christian who trained to be a church minister and who currently works part-time as the chief executive of Churches in Communities International, underwent emergency surgery to remove the blockage, followed by chemotherapy treatment.

Over the subsequent years however, the cancer has spread to his liver, lungs, brain and, most recently, the bones in his spine, shoulder and hip – and Paul now lives with stage 4 metastatic bowel cancer.

Paul and Rachel tied the knot in April 2022, and the night before he received the news the cancer had spread to his lungs, the pair discovered Rachel was pregnant with their now two-year-old son, Elias.

Reaching the end of options available on the NHS, Paul has sought and received treatment overseas with hopes to continue – and his family have launched a GoFundMe page to support him in his endeavour, raising more than £300,000 to date.

“The phrase I’ve used before is that surely lightning can’t strike twice,” Paul told PA Real Life.

“My life had gone from rock bottom to amazing, I lost my first wife and you think you’ll never recover, but then you meet someone and it’s this beautiful story.

“Then there’s a baby, my career was getting back on track – and then this cuts in on you and you think, ‘how did this happen?’.

“However, it’s given me the will and desire to fight, to see my child grow up and to grow old with my wife.

“When your desire to live is that strong, you keep going.”

Paul was first impacted by cancer when his first wife, Heather, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015 after suffering with “worsening” hip pain.

“A doctor told us that she had cancer, they didn’t know where it had originated from, but it was all over her body and it had destroyed her skeleton, particularly her hip,” Paul said.

“It was like you were plunged into a nightmare that you didn’t wake up from, there was no rhyme or reason – she was young, fit, slim, healthy.”

Paul said Heather “battled for two-and-a-half years” before she succumbed to the disease in May 2018 at the age of 31.

As the pair had been married for 10 years, Paul said his grief was “very difficult to deal with” as it felt like “half of you is gone”.

In September 2019, Paul met his now-wife Rachel on an online dating app.

They were having dinner together one night in October 2020 when he suddenly felt “a bit iffy”.

“After dinner, I started being sick and it just didn’t stop, it was every 30 seconds,” he said, adding he thought it was severe food poisoning.

Rachel took Paul to A&E but as Covid-19 restrictions were in place at the time, he had to enter the hospital alone.

Paul said he “stumbled in” and he was given medication to ease his vomiting.

After blood tests and a CT scan, Paul was informed his bowel was “blocked” by a tumour, which was thought to be cancerous.

“It was a desperately bleak, harrowing moment when you have no one there, no one’s allowed in,” he said.

Paul said he made a “desperate prayer” while on his hospital bed, asking God to “give (him) a chance to live”.

“I had seen cancer up close and I thought it was the most shocking and intimidating thing I’ve ever seen,” he said.

“I was deeply traumatised, not so much by my wife’s death, but how she suffered and when I was diagnosed, it was a sense of ‘could this happen to me?’.”

Paul said as he prayed, he felt “peace come around (him)”, and he felt a sense of “hope” to “fight”.

He was rushed for emergency surgery the following day to remove both the tumour blocking his bowel and a section of his large intestine.

The tumour was removed “successfully”, Paul said – but during the operation, doctors found the cancerous cells had spread to some of the surrounding blood vessels.

As a result, the surgeons decided to remove some of Paul’s impacted lymph nodes and most of the peritoneum – the membrane lining the cavity of the abdomen and covering the abdominal organs – on his right side to reduce the risk of the cancer spreading further.

The following day however, it was found Paul had “a spot on (his) liver”, meaning the cancerous cells had spread from the tumour, entered his bloodstream and manifested in the organ.

Paul spent six weeks recovering from the mammoth operation, described to him as the equivalent of “having been hit by a bus on the right side of (his) body”.

He then started chemotherapy treatment on a “brutal regimen” which lasted until April 2021.

The following month, in May 2021, Paul had surgery to remove the metastasis on his liver and he began another round of chemotherapy from June to August 2021.

Paul said his scans then came back clear for around a year – he and Rachel got married in April 2022 and the following month, they discovered they were expecting a baby.

“It was a miracle, we were amazed,” Paul said, adding he was previously warned the chemotherapy treatment could make him infertile.

Unfortunately, the very next day, Paul was told by his oncologist the cancer had metastasised in both of his lungs, with “lots and lots of nodules” appearing in the area.

Paul said another spot was also found on the left side of his peritoneum, where it was thought a “microscopic deposit” invisible to the naked eye had been dropped during his initial bowel surgery.

He received targeted cancer treatment on his lungs and peritoneum throughout 2022 and 2023, and he was also accepted on to various clinical trials.

It was then found a metastasis had developed on his brain, and Paul received a craniotomy to cut out the spot in April 2024 – although the metastases later returned to the area.

Paul received more chemotherapy treatment, but earlier this year, it was discovered the cancer has spread to his bones, in particular his spine, shoulder and hip.

“There comes a point where you’re told you may not wish to have any more treatment, and that you may wish to live out your days as best you can,” Paul said.

“There’s no way I can let that happen – I have a baby, I’m married, I’ve got to get my life back on track.

“Why can’t I be an exception and fight this, and see my little boy grow up and take him on his first day to school?”

Reaching the end of treatment available on the NHS, Paul and his family have looked further afield – and he has undergone treatment and consultations in Germany and America with hopes to continue.

Paul’s family members have launched a GoFundMe page to support him, raising more than £310,000 so far.

“It’s not just what the money has enabled us to do medically, which has been amazing, but it’s almost like there’s a whole crowd of people saying, ‘come on, move forward, don’t give up, keep going’,” Paul said.

“We still need to raise more however as there are newer drugs and personalised, targeted treatments coming out in Germany that I can access.”

Looking ahead to the future, Paul said he aims to “live as though (he) is going to recover”.

“I’m carrying on working, carrying on with going to the gym, playing tennis – it’s a way of telling your body ‘change is coming’,” he said.

“Despite the sadness and the pain, I have an overwhelming desire to be a survivor.”

To find out more, visit the fundraiser for Paul here: gofundme.com/f/help-paul-access-lifesaving-cancer-treatments