‘Stage four cancer isn’t a death sentence – I fought bowel cancer and am now completing my bucket list of adventures’

A mum-of-two from North Devon has stressed that “stage four cancer isn’t a death sentence” after the discovery of a 20cm tumour in her bowel in her early forties completely changed her perspective on life, and motivated her to create a bucket list and run a pub.

Natalie Hopper, now aged 45, noticed a shift in how people spoke and interacted with her after she was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer in March 2023 aged just 42.

“People would come up to my friends and family in the street and say I’m really sorry about your mum, and I remember thinking at the time: ‘Hang on, I’m still alive. I’m fighting to live, but you’re already talking about me like I’m dead’,” Natalie told PA Real Life.

“Stage four cancer isn’t a death sentence and I think that there needs to be a more positive shift or change in how people approach it.”

When she first voiced concerns about her symptoms and the possibility of bowel cancer at the end of 2022, Natalie said many doctors dismissed her worries because of her age.

“I was going through a separation at the time and it took quite a long time to get diagnosed because when I went to my doctor and said I had bowel changes they just put it down to stress,” recollected Natalie.

“I started to get a little bit worried when it became quite painful and I couldn’t sleep on my left side.”

At one stage, doctors suspected that it could be diverticulitis – a common digestive condition that affects the large intestine and causes abdominal pain – and prescribed antibiotics, but when her symptoms continued, she felt certain that something wasn’t right.

“All the way along I just kept thinking that’s not right, which kept pushing me to go back and say I’m not happy with what you’re telling me,” said Natalie.

“I did ask two or three times, ‘should I be worried about cancer?’, but they said I was too young for cancer.

“I was only 42 at the time, and my symptoms started when I was about 40.”

A locum doctor finally sensed something was wrong in February 2023 and sent her for an urgent CT scan.

“It took fresh eyes for someone to actually go, hang on a minute, this isn’t right,” said Natalie.

The scan revealed the large tumour, which doctors said was 90% likely to be cancerous.

A day later, Natalie had emergency bowel surgery and spent the next two weeks in hospital. She had to get a stoma fitted, due to a large part of her colon being removed.

An oncologist told Natalie at a follow up appointment that the cancer had spread to her liver and was therefore stage four in March.

“My whole world imploded. Up to that day, I was self-employed as a decluttering specialist for people with hoarding disorder and had just got my own flat,” said Natalie.

“I had only been living there for two weeks when I got the diagnosis and suddenly I couldn’t work anymore and had to close my business, but couldn’t get benefits because I had a limited company. It was an absolute disaster.”

She described her children’s reaction to the difficult news as “heart-wrenching”.

“Lauren and Owen, who were 18 and 25 at the time, came to see me in hospital as soon as they found out,” said Natalie.

“It was quite heart wrenching, especially for my teenage boy who usually doesn’t shed a tear about anything. To see him absolutely broken was horrible.”

Natalie went onto have four cycles of chemotherapy, and in January 2024 had more surgery to remove the part of her liver where the cancer had spread to, which turned into a life-threatening situation when she lost a lot of blood and woke up in intensive care.

In March 2024, she started another round of chemo as a preventative measure to try to get rid of any cancer cells that might remain, but after experiencing a bad reaction she made the decision to stop treatment to prioritise her quality of life.

“No round (of chemotherapy) was ever the same,” said Natalie.

“At one point I thought they had given me the wrong thing because I was so hyperactive and wanted to decorate the house top to bottom. However, during another round, I just wanted to lock myself in a dark room and not speak to anyone.

“I just thought: ‘Why do I need to keep doing this when the doctors are telling me that the tumour is basically gone?’

“They said it was preventative, but in my eyes, it was stopping me from having a life.

“I was still having three monthly scans so thought if anything is going to creep back up, then at least I’m being monitored.”

When she felt well between rounds of chemotherapy, she picked up some shifts at her local pub, The Cavalier Inn in Torrington, and when the opportunity arose to take it over in August 2024, she felt an urge to put herself forward.

“When I was ill, I said to my kids, if I do make it through this, then I really want to run a pub again, because I spent my younger working years in pubs,” said Natalie.

“I did the odd shift in The Cavalier to get to know people because I was new to town, and when the manager announced that they were leaving I thought maybe this is a sign for me to take it on.”

Natalie said that although running the pub has been an amazing “side step” to her bucket list, she has decided to take a step back in June.

“Running the pub has been a amazing side step to the bucket list, but I feel that now I am ready to have some new experiences and see some new places,” said Natalie.

“Before the pub came about, I bought a motor home and was planning to drive to Scotland and work my way back down the UK with my dog, and was going to learn to surf, but I just haven’t had the time to do any of those things.

“I want to see some places, even if it’s just Devon and Cornwall. I just need some peace and some new experiences.

“I feel like I need to get on with my life, just in case, because even though I have had clear scans I know that it could come back at anytime.”

She highlighted the heavy mental load that comes with a stage four diagnosis, and is keen to spread awareness about the Stage4You campaign, which coincides with Bowel Cancer Awareness Month in April.

The initiative, funded by Takeda UK and created in collaboration with Bowel 
Cancer UK, highlights the mental burden of living with stage four bowel cancer and offers practical guidance, emotional support and resources to help people safeguard their wellbeing during awareness periods.

“Googling ‘stage four cancer’ can really trigger a whole can of worms in your head and I think we need to stop this ‘stage four death sentence’ narrative, because the anxiety and everything that goes with it for a patient is just horrible,” said Natalie.

“I feel like I’ve conquered my physical health as much as I can, but now my mental health is really suffering. I need to put myself first and find time to breathe because I feel like I have been on autopilot for too long.”

Natalie hopes that her story will encourage other people to keep pushing for answers if they have a gut instinct about their health.

“You know your own body and if you’re not happy, keep going back,” said Natalie.

“It doesn’t matter if you feel like you’re pestering your doctors. If you’re not happy with that doctor, speak to another doctor. Ask for fresh eyes, because sometimes that’s all it takes.”

To find out more about the Stage4U campaign visit https://stage4you.org/