‘I was registered blind at birth – when I became a mum, I feared my baby would be taken away from me’

A first-time mum from Glasgow who was born severely visually impaired and feared she would not be “worthy of this baby” and that he might be “taken away” said that while motherhood has been a “whole massive rollercoaster” she has developed the “confidence to see it through”.

Ruby Shah, 40, was born prematurely at 24 weeks and was registered blind from birth. She is very short-sighted, unable to see detail such as faces and has light sensitivity, and when she became pregnant with her now-nine-month-old son Michael in 2024 she was “really, really worried” about parenting as a visually impaired person.

However, thanks to support from her husband David, 37, her guide dog Sadie, and a community of guide dog-owning parents, she has grown in confidence, learning how to navigate with a guide dog and a pram, finding tricks for nappy changes and mealtimes, and said she feels “as if I’ve achieved something by getting to where I am now”.

“Before having a baby, everything was alien to me,” Ruby told PA Real Life.

“I’d not really been around anyone who’s visually impaired and had a baby before. You hear about health visitors coming in and what if the place is a mess and you don’t know, or the dog’s put hair everywhere and you haven’t been able to pick that up, and they think that’s not a good place for the baby to be, it’s not a healthy place to be…

“I had all those fears of, am I going to be worthy of this baby? Is he going to be seen as not being nurtured enough, not being looked after enough, and now they’re going to take him away from me because I’m not able to do as much as other people because of my visual impairment?

“You always work slightly harder, and you always worry that you’re not doing enough to match everyone else, and be as good a parent as you can for your baby.”

Growing up with four brothers and a sister who are all sighted, Ruby learned to “just do what everyone else does as much as possible”. She is registered blind and has limited, short-sighted vision: She can see large objects, but not detail such as faces, make-up, and hairstyles, and bright lights and sunshine cause her pain so she needs to wear sunglasses when out and about.

“I have to try and remember if someone went to get their hair done so I can tell them that it looks nice!” Ruby said.

She used a cane to assist her as a child and teenager, and when she left home she got her first guide dog in the early 2010s.

Ruby has had a guide dog by her side for most of her adult life, and now has her third, a black Labrador retriever named Sadie, who “gives me the confidence to get out and about and do loads of things”, including travelling on buses, trains, and planes, getting to the shops, and visiting family.

In August 2024, Ruby learned she was pregnant with her first child, and alongside all the common fears and worries shared by new mums-to-be, she “was really, really worried” that her visual impairment would make her less capable as a mother.

“It’s hard enough sometimes just to get yourself out and about, dressing yourself – half the time my clothes are inside out, or there’s a stain on them, so you’re just like, Oh my God, am I going to be the same with a child?” she said.

“How am I going to know if they’re ill? How am I going to know if they’re upset? All the NHS stuff says look for feeding cues, look for their facial expressions, look for if they’re smiling. I’m like, I can’t see their face, I don’t know!”

However, practical and community support from Guide Dogs helped to put her mind at ease. Ruby and Sadie were given pram training and access to an adapted pram that made it easier for her to navigate with both a guide dog and a pushchair, and she was connected with other guide dog owners who were parents for “reassurance” and experience-led advice.

“Independence is really important to me, because my partner’s not always around,” Ruby said, adding that “asking around and getting some support that way was really helpful”.

Ruby now has a pram that she can easily push with one hand, holding Sadie’s harness in the other, and the community offered advice on changing nappies, organising things for the baby so she can easily find them, buying clothes with zips rather than buttons, and using bright clothes and play mats that she can see more easily.

In the nine months since Michael was born, Ruby has grown in confidence: Getting out and about with Sadie and the pram and not worrying about taking up space, asking people for help, even with checking she’s picking up the right size clothes, and living the independent life she loves.

Sadie came into Ruby and David’s lives shortly after Ruby became pregnant, and when she’s not guiding Ruby outside the house, she’s “mainly a wee pet”.

“She loves Michael… in her own way, she wants to try and protect him,” Ruby said, adding that Sadie will lick Michael’s feet and try to share her toys with him.

“In the house, she’s just a wee happy dog, and she’s so young as well, she’s had to deal with quite a lot, and she’s doing absolutely amazing.”

Parenting as a whole, Ruby said, has been “a whole massive rollercoaster”.

“You have challenges, but then you have some really nice moments,” she said.

“What Michael started to do, and I don’t think he meant to do, is when he smiles, he makes a wee noise so that I know that he’s smiling. Or when he grips your hand and stuff – that, for me, that’s lovely, because it’s giving me that feedback that I’m not able to get from his facial expressions.

“But I think if I went back, I just wish I had the confidence. I feel as if I’ve achieved something by getting to where I am now…

“When he starts walking, that is the next one. I’m going to have to put an Apple tag or something on him, or like a wee beeper!”

To other visually impaired parents, Ruby said that progress is individual, and everyone will learn their own ways of navigating parenthood.

“Everyone finds their own ways, everyone’s individual,” she said.

“Find your own way, and have confidence to see it through.”

To find out more and discover the life-enriching services provided by Guide Dogs, visit: guidedogs.org.uk/