It’s Good To Talk: Christmas - a time to recharge  and be kind to yourself

Christmas! I genuinely cannot believe it’s that time of year again!I know I am not alone in feeling this way. When I speak to people about the festive period I pick up an undertone of dread, or maybe it’s just me! I will not lie. I am not a fan of Christmas but it seems that a lot of people are indeed festive fans. 

I have penned many articles over the years on the stress-free Christmas - if it truly exists! -  so let’s take a different look on Christmas this year, maybe as much for me as for you dear reader!

The good

What are the good parts of Christmas? Putting the focus on the ‘good’ might reduce or at least overshadow the stress or the not so good aspects that we might dread. First off, everyone’s Christmas is different, every family or situation can be different even if on paper it might seem the same, you will always have different dynamics and ways of managing things. Inside every house there is a lot at play. 

Acknowledging this might help us go for our own type of Christmas and expectations rather than the ones the Christmas adverts, movies and social media lead us to believe that we should have!

Now that we have wiped the slate clean of how our Christmas should be let’s start seeing how it can be closer to how we would like it to be for OUR lives. What I DO like about Christmas is time-off and I don’t necessarily mean from work but time-off from running around for activities and everyday stuff. I must admit I do like Christmas Eve - it’s the start of…. “phew it’s mostly sorted phase!” 

See it as a recharge period

The lead up to Christmas can be extremely busy but the period from Christmas Eve until new year can be a slower pace and in that there can be potential for headspace and downtime. 

We are not used to slowing down so I find that period for people where there really isn’t much to do can bring a sense of acceptance and guilt-free nothing time. Make the most of this! See it as a recharge period. Have the duvet days, wear the reindeer pyjamas, eat the chocolates for breakfast, break routine (if it’s ok for you) and make it your time. 

Meet and hang out with people you like, say no to those that don’t serve you well. You are not responsible for the wellbeing of the world at Christmas, do your best but always leave something for yourself in the energy tank otherwise this time off period could be a dread rather than a joy. 

Christmas should be about what you like, so do you know what you like? This is not something people ask themselves but maybe they should. Christmas is not for other people, it’s for you too! 

‘Be in your own lane this Christmas, be present with the good bits, acknowledge the not so good and ask yourself how you can help yourself move on to better times!’

The festive period can be about many things but often associated with treats - so how do you treat yourself, literally? Are you hard on yourself? Do you put yourself under unnecessary stress and strain? Are you sore on yourself physically, mentally or both? Maybe your treat to you this Christmas is simply being less hard on yourself, turning that stick into a feather. Maybe the best Christmas gift that we can all give ourselves is the gift of compassion and self-love!

Angels at Christmas are part of conversations but maybe we need to talk about earth angels more. Those people in our lives that make the difference. 

READ NEXT: It’s Good To Talk: How to manage loneliness

Too often we talk about toxic people and those that are drainers, of course they exist and are part of life but let’s acknowledge those that make a difference. Christmas can be an emotional time for many and that emotion might just be acknowledgement of joy, love and connection, it doesn’t have to be negative. 

At Christmas I tend to think of those that throughout the year made a difference in my life, those that helped when they didn’t need to, those that stopped and talked instead of walking on by, those random acts of kindness from that person that gave you’re their parking ticket or helped your with your shopping to that person that let you go in front of them in the queue. Maybe it’s that friend that held you when you couldn’t hold yourself or that listening ear that lite up your heart! All those people matter because they added to your daily glimmers which are our tiny, tiny rays of sunshine that need to shine even brighter on dark days. Always look for these all year long. 

Acknowledge your good stuff

Christmas praise is important and that goes both ways. How have you contributed to people’s lives this year? Acknowledge your own random acts of kindness or the contribution you have made to people this year. 

Do not dismiss the good stuff that you have been part of in 2024, you matter and you might be the first to pick up on your negatives, highlight things that you think you didn’t do well enough but will you stop and give time, energy and gratitude to all the stuff you did do! Take time, sit with it and acknowledge your good stuff. This might be far from easy but maybe that tells us a lot about what might be keeping the better parts of your life in the shadow. 

Connection at Christmas is really important! We only have to look at the John Lewis advert on loneliness to feel how real this is for people. Sometime it takes things to appear on screen for us to really see it or acknowledge the emotions it might evoke. There are plenty of great stuff on our screens via TV and social media but there are many things that are far from helpful over the festive period that can effect emotions. 

Happy, shiny bright perfection. Festive fires with smiley faces and gifts galore. Is it all real? No. Not everything you see is real and logically you know this but log on when you have had a far from festive day and seeing this perfection might just literally be the icing on the Christmas cake. Remind yourself that no matter what you think or believe that not everything you think is true and not everything you see is as it is.Be in your own lane this Christmas, be present with the good bits, acknowledge the not so good and ask yourself how you can help yourself move on to better times! I wish you much love for a Christmas that is how you would like it to be for you! 

Best wishes, Tracy xxx