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07 Sept 2025

Kilkenny gardaí reveal funniest one-liners they hear

The gardaí want to note that this is just a little insight, and they still wish for people to "please continue to chat to us as we all go about our business."

Kilkenny gardaí reveal funniest one-liners they hear

The Facebook page was created in 2017, and is used to bring things to locals attention, such as, scam alerts, lost item appeals, events, and now, humour! 

Reporter:

Ellie McCarthy

18 Nov 2024 1:33 PM

It is certainly not all doom, gloom, and seriousness with Kilkenny's An Garda Síochána, that's for sure! 
The gardaí took to their Facebook page, which boasts 39,000 followers, over the weekend to give people an insight into the comments and remarks that the general public makes to them on a daily basis, along with what goes through their heads when they hear these phrases, time and time again. 
Gardaí on the 'An Garda Síochána Kilkenny' Facebook page said, "When you wear our uniform, there's a few old chestnuts we hear on a regular basis. Here's a few and what goes on in our heads:
1) 'Haven't you got something better to do?' Translation: I was speeding, had no seat belt on, broke a red light but you really should catch someone else.
2)'1 Garda, 2 nghardee': Normally shouted when drunk people see us on the beat on a night out. Probably hilarious after too much to drink, not so funny when you're dealing with intoxicated people all night.
3) 'If you don't behave, the Gardai will take you away': Told to kids often as we pass, meant harmlessly but if your kid ever needs help, should you really tell them we take kids away?
4) 'You can't arrest me, you haven't got your cap on': Pure myth, normally dispelled as handcuffs being applied.
5) 'You won't catch me': Well invariably, you've been recognised and we probably know where you live.
6) 'Do you like donuts?': Very original.
7) “Any chance of a lift home”: a Saturday regular, thinking it's your job to bring people home."
The gardaí want to note that this is just a little insight, and they still wish for people to "please continue to chat to us as we all go about our business."
The comedic status was a hit on Facebook, attracting over 380 likes, and a further 52 comments, since it was posted at 2pm on Sunday, November 17. 
Users took to the comments to express their laughter at the phrases.  One user said, "Brilliant...Some silly people out there!"
Another said, "Thanks for the laughs, keep safe." 
The Facebook page was created in 2017, and is used to bring things to locals attention, such as, scam alerts, lost item appeals, events, and now, humour! 

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