'I never got to hold you' - Kilkenny woman told as birth mother finds her after 41 years

There are currently over 6,000 children in care in Ireland and this figure is growing every day.

Fostering a child can completely change lives and creates a massive difference for so much children of all ages and backgrounds.

The Kilkenny People/Kilkenny Live spoke to a woman with an incredible story; one of love, family, heart-ache and inspirations.

54-year-old Trish Devlin and her husband Noel from Kilkenny City have been fostering children for the last 20 years after she herself was adopted by a family as a newborn baby.

Trish found love, peace and happiness with an amazing family after she was taken from her mother who gave birth to her at 17-years-old. She was taken from her in the hospital straight away with no choice.

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Amazingly, at 41-years-old, Trish received a phone call she never imagined getting; it was a social worker who was trying to track her down. 

Trish's birth mother was looking for her after 41 years.

"My parents couldn't have children and I was born in the early 1970s and my mother, she adopted me. I didn't even have a foster family, I just came straight from the home to my parents and the same with my foster brothers.

"I always said I had a fantastic family, my parents were just unbelievable people. I had such a fantastic childhood so I said I'd love to give back.

"I actually loved being in a big huge family. My husband is an only child so this was all new to him. We got into fostering about 20 years ago now, we got one placement and it lasted about six to seven weeks and then we got twins. We have our twins now, they're 25".

Trish and her husband have seven kids altogether, three biological and four fostered, and she said she doesn't know if that's the end. She said she would run an orphanage if she could.

"I love seeing the joy you can give to children," Trish said. "My kids are fantastic. I don't say I have three biological and four foster. I just say I have seven children because they're with me now and they're not going anywhere.

"I love giving and if I had a bigger house, my mother always said I was like Grand Central Station. She said you'd run an orphanage if you had it, but I absolutely love having a full house".

Trish fostered a newborn baby herself who is now eight-years-old and the light of her life.

"She's my baby. She's the light of my life. We got her straight out of the hospital. My parents passed away 12 months before she came to live with us and I always say to her you were my saving grace. You were sent from an angel for me".

All of Trish's children know they are adopted and she is very open and honest about it. Trish herself knew all of her life that she was adopted as well.

She said that she never thought of reaching out to her biological mother because she was so happy with her family.

When her mother reached out to her at 41 years old, Trish said she didn't want to see her.

"When I found out first, I was sort of taken aback. My father rang me and he said there's a social worker here looking for you and, your birth mother is looking for you.

"So I drove down and I said I don't want to meet that woman, I said, you're my parents and my father just said, no, no, no, he said go for my sake and your mother's sake and just thank that woman, he said, for the gift she gave us".

So Trish told nobody and left to go and meet her birth mother for the first time since she was born.

"We met in the offices at the back of St Joseph's and when I went down to meet her, it wasn't like you know those long lost families that throw each other's arms around each other and they start crying and all that, it wasn't like that because this woman was a stranger to me.

"So we went in and I sat down and she took my hand and she kept rubbing my hand and I said, 'well, what are you doing rubbing my hand?'

"She had the skin rubbed off, but that's the type I am, I'm a joker about things and she said, 'when I had you, the nurse just took you away, I never got to touch you.'

"That's going back to 1972, so it wasn't her choice, she was only 17 when she had me".

Trish said that her and her birth mother clicked and "conversation just flowed". To this day they are now close friends with each other and keep in contact.

Trish highly recommends fostering to anyone with a spare room in their home and love in their hearts to give a child in need.

"There's no foster carers out there, she said, "not like when I started there was a load of foster carers coming up. There's very few now that are actually coming into it.

"So it's harder for children to be put into care because there's actually no homes for them to be put into. And it's scary.

"It's very, very scary when you think of it, like what's happened to these poor kids. If I had a bigger house, I'd take in more children".

Trish was going to retire from fostering after her first little girl but she has since adopted another baby girl who is now three years old.

"So I don't think I'll actually ever retire doing this," Trish said. "I just love it. I think part of me would die if I didn't do it.

"Because I was so blessed. I just like making life easy for kids. And it's not easy for them when they come in first. 

"They all have their troubles, some more than others, in our case, it didn't manifest for a good few years and then all the trauma hit them all at once, but then you're there to help them.

If you are interested in fostering a child, you can send an enquiry to www.fosteringfirstireland.ie or call Fostering Advisor Jess directly on 087 9394697.