Self-improvement guru Francesca Amber: My manifesting miracles

Single mother and self-improvement queen Francesca Amber reckons she manifested her husband, the dream house she now lives in and even the gender of her twin daughters.

Before she met her (now ex) husband, she had a photo of him from a dating website and a picture of him on her vision board for two-and-a-half years and then met him on a blind date through a friend who had no knowledge of the vision board.

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Despite being diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome, she went on to have a daughter, Bohemia, with him, and after they divorced had twin daughters from a brief relationship.

She wanted girls because both her uncle and her brother had died in freak circumstances and she believed if she had a boy something bad would happen.

But after a DNA test, she was told she was having twin boys.

“I had a nervous breakdown for 48 hours. Gender disappointment is something I’ve talked about quite a lot because I think it’s OK to want what you want. And I was suddenly like, ‘God, I’m going to have three children and potentially two b***** boys!’ I cried for 24 hours.”

Later, she took out a notepad to list 10 things she was thankful for in this situation, which included already having a daughter, thankful she could get pregnant and that the unborn babies were healthy.

That evening her clinician phoned back, apologising profusely that she had made a mistake and that Amber was having twin girls.

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“I could not believe it,” Amber, 40, recalls. “There are moments with the law of attraction where you think, how? Now I’ve got three girls. It’s a miracle.”

Twins Riva and Laveau are now four, Bohemia is nine and their mother is living her happiest life. She believes manifesting had a lot to do with it.

Her introduction to manifesting began in the Noughties when she read The Secret, about the law of attraction, a philosophy suggesting that positive or negative thoughts attract corresponding experiences into a person’s life. She began manifesting in a big way, she recalls, and started sharing her experiences on a YouTube channel.

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Although her marriage didn’t last – they divorced after six years – she says it wasn’t a bad manifestation because he facilitated a lot of things in her life, from having a daughter together to starting her own beauty salon business.

“I think we both left each other’s lives a lot better than when we started,” she said.

During the pandemic, she lost her London beauty salon, felt intense isolation and was pregnant with twins.

“I went through a period of about eight weeks where I was just in a pity party and felt no-one was worse off than me,” she recalls, but set out to follow the law of attraction principles.

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She started hosting a self-development book club and later a podcast, Law Of Attraction Changed My Life, to give her a focus. It soon introduced her to raft of experts including a manifesting coach and within weeks became the UK’s top self-improvement podcast.

She now lives in a big house with a swimming pool in Lincolnshire which she has achieved without a partner – she remains single – while bringing up her three daughters.

There are some things she has manifested which haven’t come to fruition, she admits.

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“There have definitely been things that I’ve wanted that I haven’t got, but I look back to the past and things that I thought were really terrible – getting divorced, losing my business in the pandemic.

“When I look back, if I could change those things now I wouldn’t, because it absolutely has propelled me forward.

“If some things have not come to fruition, the longer I live on this earth the more I realise that it all works out in the end. I’m so glad I got divorced. I’m so glad I lost my business.”

Now, she’s aiming to help other mothers realise their dreams with Manifest Like A Mother, a pink-jacketed self-development guide for mums, making manifesting accessible to the most “time-poor and overworked demographic in our society”.

It features a wealth of information about the power of manifesting and how to do it – and she is hoping it will become a TV show.

“I’m seeing a mixture between Queer Eye, but with a bit of Stacey Solomon Sort Your Life Out, just for mothers who have lost their way and feel overwhelmed and stressed out.”

Here, she runs through some of the basics on how mothers can fit manifesting into their busy lives.

Know what you want

“Be honest with yourself and get clear on what your dream life looks like to you. What do you want to change about it?” she advises.

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Feel grateful

“Wake up and start your day with gratitude. It sounds so simple and so boring, but if you just did that one thing you would see changes in your life within days or a week, in how you feel and how you move through your day and the opportunities you find in your day,” she offers.

“Writing a gratitude list in the morning is very powerful, but I know that sometimes from the minute I open my eyes in the morning, I’ve got little people demanding, ‘Take me downstairs!’ ‘Take me to the toilet!’ so I can often feel like a failure before I’ve even got out of bed.

“Instead, I go downstairs and put on my speaker on a rotation of four or five songs that have the words ‘Thank you’ in them a lot. They’re all about gratitude. I sing those songs with my children at breakfast.”

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Craft your vision

“Lots of people love to make vision boards, but I haven’t the time to sit around cutting things out of newspapers, but my children love to craft, colour and paint.”

Amber used to sit with them and paint her dream house repeatedly. “I am now sitting in that house that I painted many times over. So, whether it’s your dream job, your ideal body or perfect health, paint it and pour your energy into it.”

Take cognitive breaks

“A lot of mums will say they don’t have time for self-care or meditation and in this modern age, where we are digitally connected all the time, we never have the chance for a mental rest.

“We need cognitive breaks to think creatively. I learned a couple of months ago that doing a task that is mentally low-stimulating but involves physical labour of some kind like loading the dishwasher, folding laundry, mopping a floor, are more restful than a nap and can be classed as a meditation.

“This is my cognitive break time, and I do these tasks in silence, not thinking about anything, and it has honestly left me feeling so much more refreshed.”

Design your environment for success

Your home can either be a source of stress which will stop you achieving your goals or it can be your biggest ally in reaching them, she maintains.

“For mothers, this is super important. In my 20s my flat was somewhere to order a takeaway and occasionally sleep. Now my home is my office, it’s where I socialise, it’s where I raise my children.”

Set your home up to support your goal, she advises.

“Decluttering is a massive thing. Your home environment is a reflection of your state of mind. If everything is messy and disorganised you are not going to have the mental bandwidth to focus on your goals and dreams. That is the number one setback for mums.”

Manifest Like A Mother by Francesca Amber is published by Rider, priced £16.99. Available now