Helen Skelton: ‘Family life is chaotic and a bit rough around the edges’

Single mum-of-three Helen Skelton makes no claims to be a ‘picture-perfect’ parent.

In fact, the effervescent TV presenter is very happy to admit life with her three young children – Ernie, aged 10, Louis, eight, and Elsie, three – can be “chaotic”.

“Why do we put pressure on ourselves to present this picture-perfect image to the outside world when the reality of family busy life is that it’s chaotic, it’s busy, a bit rough around the edges, and that’s what life is,” she says.

“Me and my friends describe it as fifth gear or no gear, and I think you just have to take the pressure off of a bit and accept that’s what it is.”

Morning Live presenter Skelton, 42, who split from the children’s father, retired rugby player Richie Myler, in 2022, is cheerfully self-deprecating about her parenting, pointing out that when she was asked to support a new campaign highlighting the “ludicrous expectations of parenting being pedalled on social media”, she thought it might be because her own parenting simply wasn’t “picture-perfect”.

She says: “When I got asked to be involved I was like ‘Does that say I’m the chaotic one, without the picture-perfect life?’. And I said yeah, but my friend said no, you’re relatable, and I was like, no, I’m chaos!”

Nevertheless, she agreed to support the tongue-in-cheek initiative, in which bread makers Warburtons have launched a ‘beauty range’ of sandwiches to highlight “lunchbox guilt”, after 60% of parents surveyed said they feel pressure to make a perfect-looking lunchbox.

“This is really about shining a light on normal life and the reason 45% of people feel guilty that the lunchboxes they send their kids out with are without those picture-perfect, Instagrammable lunches,” explains Skelton. “And I think that’s probably something most of us can relate to.

“I think everybody’s doing the best they can, and it’s just about taking the pressure off. Let’s be real – it’s not about having the perfectly presentable bento box with everything matching.”

Skelton, who lives in Cumbria with the kids, says that when she had her first child she thought every lunchbox she made would be filled with organic hand-scrubbed carrots “with homemade this and homemade that”. And while she tried to live up to that standard initially, she admits the kids’ lunchboxes have “definitely evolved”.

She says a friend recently showed her a lunchbox her kids take to school, with lots of sections and “everything in its place”. But she admits: “I was like ‘I can’t even find the flipping lid for Tupperware boxes – I have to have zippy bags, because then I can’t lose the lid.”

As for the lunchbox contents, Skelton says there’s generally nothing fancy, and there are usually sandwiches. “There’s a bit of anything and everything, to be honest – always ham, often cheese, soft cheese is definitely a favourite.

“As long as they’re eating some things that are relatively healthy, keeping them happy, food in their bellies, then that’s the goal, isn’t it?

“I try my kids on all sorts of stuff, and I’m very lucky they’ll try it – it doesn’t mean they’ll always reach for it and pick it.”

Former Blue Peter presenter Skelton thinks social media can put huge amounts of pressure on parents, and points out: “You can compare everything you do, every meal you make, and it’s that adage – comparison is the thief of joy.

“But social media is one of those things, for me, you can’t live with it, you can’t live without it. But you definitely can’t just live by it. I don’t think you have to be on social media and be perfect, and have organic peas in a rice salad that was cooked at 5am and fermented.

“But equally, the world is literally at your fingertips when you’ve got social media. Lots of wonderful opportunities present, but you just can’t be a slave to it.”

She stresses that she doesn’t think social media’s all bad though, and says she likes to get inspiration from it herself.

“The wonderful thing about social media is that it gives you all these ideas, but you’ve got to box them in your brain as wonderful ideas, you can’t put them in the file of ‘this is what life is meant to look like’.”

She says on lazy weekends, or if she’s not working, she might make food in advance and try different recipes and ideas she’s found on social media for food she and the kids often take out and about with them.

“We’re one of those families that are on the road a lot,” she explains, “and the kids have a lot of activities on and every weekend they’ve got sport, so there’s always a packed lunch on the go.

“If we go out, we quite often go out for the day, so that’s why we’re constant picnickers.”

She relates a tale that many mums – particularly of young boys with voracious appetites – will relate to, of when her boys came out of school and went straight to football. “So I had a massive tub of ham sandwiches ready, but obviously I couldn’t find the lid for it,” she says. “And then my elder child ate the whole box. And I was like, that’s to share for the next few hours, but he ate the whole thing.”

Some parents, if they can afford it, may prefer taking the kids to restaurants rather than packing a lunch, and Skelton says: “One of my friends takes her kids to restaurants a lot, but that’s just carnage [for us]. Every family’s different, and you’ve got to do what works for you.”

What works for Skelton is a juggle between her TV commitments and home life, and at the moment work is particularly busy, as she’s back at Morning Live after being off all summer, is filming a second series of Lost And Found for the BBC, and a new series of Yorkshire Great And Small With Dan and Helen has just started on Channel 5.

“I guess I’m feeling pretty lucky at the minute,” she says, pointing out that the secret to juggling work and home life is “efficiency”.

She says: “My work is my social life, so I have really strict boundaries about when I’m able to work, and I make sure I’ve got more time with my kids than anything else.”

She says neither she nor Dan Walker really has the time to do the Yorkshire Great And Small series, but explains: “We just have a laugh because he’s got two full-time jobs and three kids, and we have no time to do this series, but we film with our mates in parts of the world that we love, and it’s our way of getting chance to hang out with our mates.

“I’m really lucky, I work with my best mates.”

Warburtons has teamed up with Helen Skelton to encourage parents to forget about unattainable lunchbox beauty standards on social media, and remind them that a simple, nutritious sandwich is the most important thing.