How to manage children’s expectations if you’re short of money this Christmas

Every child dreams that all the gifts on their wish list to Santa will be waiting for them under the tree on Christmas Day.

But unfortunately, the harsh reality of life is that many parents simply can’t afford to buy everything their child wants – a fact that can leave some children, and quite possibly their parents too, broken-hearted.

“For many, this Christmas will be a tough one as the cost of living has continued to rise, putting even more pressure on household finances,” says financial expert Alastair Douglas, CEO of credit brokers TotallyMoney.

“With higher energy usage, added spend on food, travel, decorations, and socialising over the festive period, keeping up with the latest must-have children’s gifts and demands will be difficult.”

And Matt Buttery, CEO of the Triple P UK and Ireland parenting program, says: “Beyond the planning of Christmas events, food, and presents, there is the constant worry for parents about how to meet their children’s expectations.

“But there are many simple and effective steps parents can take – from open communication to creative gift alternatives – to ensure expectations are managed healthily and the festive season remains truly special, even when resources are limited.”

Here’s Douglas and Buttery’s advice on how to manage children’s expectations if you’re short of money this Christmas…

Be realistic

Every parent wants to spoil their child at Christmas and give them everything they want, but if the reality is that you just can’t afford it, you need to face the fact rather than going into debt.

“The holiday season can be a challenging time for many, and it’s important to validate the reality – both for yourself and your children,” stresses Buttery. “Maintaining realistic expectations is essential, and it’s far better to take this approach than to consider going into debt.”

Be honest with your kids

Douglas says now’s a good time to speak to your children about the realities of Christmas, so you can manage their expectations, and avoid disappointment.

“Children can be more compassionate and understanding than they get credit for, so having a conversation about what’s realistic might not be as hard as you think, and it can also help set the tone for future festivities,” he advises.

Remind them (and yourself) Christmas is about more than just presents

Adults thinking of Christmases past will remember the fun and family times rather than how much their parents spent on gifts, and Buttery says: “We should remember that our children will be no different. Focusing on quality time and experiences together rather than quantity of gifts, or money spent, helps frame the festive season as shared time together, rather than a day defined by the number of presents under the tree.

“Instead of focusing on what they want for gifts, try focusing on what they’d like to do with you, ensuring the day is special and the memories last long after the wrapping paper’s been recycled.”

Set a realistic budget

Do a family secret Santa

Secret Santa, where family members give a secret gift to the person whose name they’ve drawn, can really reduce the amount of presents, and thus expense, at Christmas, although it will only work with older children, as Santa is secret for little ones anyway. “Giving your kids a set budget to buy their secret Santa gift can help them understand the value of money,” Douglas points out.

Buy their gifts in the Boxing Day sales

Although it’s not one for younger children, older kids may be happy to wait for their gifts until the sales start. Douglas says: “Waiting until the Boxing Day sales can give you more spending power, and you could make a day of it, giving your children a budget to let them buy their own gifts.”

Get others involved

Rather than the kids getting more small gifts that they might not have asked for, ask other gift-givers to contribute to bigger ticket items. Buttery suggests: “If possible, speak to wider family and friends about sharing costs or contributing to joint gifts to ease financial pressure.”

Make use of discount codes and vouchers

Douglas suggests keeping an eye out for discount codes, cashback offers and vouchers could help parents meet children’s expectations more cheaply, pointing out that you might even be able to combine the offers.

Try a 0% interest card

Parents may be more able to meet their children’s expectations by using a 0% interest card, which Douglas says will give up to two years’ interest free on purchases. However, he warns: “It’s important to remember that you might only be adding more financial stress to next Christmas.”