Joe Marler: ‘Why are we so desperate to become adults?’

Although he’s a big, burly former England rugby player, Joe Marler is a young kid at heart.

The 6ft, 18st hulk is also a dad-of-four, and likes nothing better than behaving like a child again as he plays with his two girls and two boys.

“Why are we so quick to lose being a kid – why are we so desperate to become adults?” asks the 35-year-old former Harlequins prop. “You think it’ll be so much more fun when you become an adult, and when you become one you go, well no, it was more fun being a kid with no responsibilities, so can we just go back to being that?

“And this applies to everyone – play gives you a chance to revisit being a kid again, and it’s just really great fun.”

Although he retired from rugby in November 2024, Marler is still busy with other work projects – he made it to the final episode of Celebrity Traitors in November last year, and until recently he hosted the popular podcast Joe Marler’s Things People Do, although in October he said his time on the podcast had “come to an end”.

He says: “I’m here, there and everywhere, really. I do some bits and bobs, but I don’t just say yes to everything that comes across the desk, because you’ve got to actually be authentic and enjoy the stuff you say yes to.

“So, if I’m honest, I’m still trying to figure out what work is, having spent the last 17 years being able to say I’m a rugby player. Now, when someone asks, I go ‘Oh, I’m a podcaster, TV cameo person, god knows what, I’m still trying to work it out.”

But one role he is very sure about is playing with his kids Jasper, 12, Maggie, 10, Felix, six, and Pixie, four, who he shares with his wife, Daisy.

“When I get the chance, that’s my role,” he explains. “If I’m not away working, I try and make the most of it with them. And it’s just the best way to spend time with them, engaging in play.”

He says he’s heard “all bits and bobs” on why play is what kids need to help keep developing their brains. He observes: “I don’t know any of the science behind that – all I know is that subjective feeling, you just know they feel better when you engage with them, playing and drop the guard down of being a parent, and actually be a mate for a bit.”

Despite his macho image, Marler says he plays with his girls as much as he plays with the boys, insisting: “I’m not that old-school type where I go ‘I can’t engage with you and your Barbies and the imaginary play that you see’. I’m all over that.

“I’m up dancing, I’m up playing K-Pop Demon Hunters with them, or whatever it is. I don’t know half the stuff they make me do – it’s just about connecting with all of them. I love them.”

He says he can be “a bit rougher” with his eldest boy, but explains: “That’s purely because he’s massive and he likes engaging in a bit more wrestling and the trampoline.”

His youngest son is a big LEGO fan, which is one of the many reasons Marler accepted a recent offer to take part in a series of head-to-head challenges with his Celebrity Traitors co-star Mark Bonnar, using LEGO Star Wars SMART Play technology in filmed playful battles, and aided by two young friends dubbed Mini Marler and Mini Mark.

“It was so much fun,” declares Marler. “Honestly, I  turned into more of a big kid than I actually am. It was great to see Mark again, and pretending we were in Star Wars was great too – we were like two giant kids.

“And then it dawned on me: ‘Oh my god the brownie points are going to be through the roof for my two boys because they’re just LEGO-obsessed.”

He admits it’ll mainly be the boys he scores points with, pointing out: “My youngest, Pixie, she’s four, and she gets bored quite easily. So she says let’s get all the LEGO bricks out, this is great. And she’ll build the highest tower going, it’ll fall down and break, and then she’ll run off and do something else.”

And Pixie’s towers falling over and breaking up means Mum and Dad are in danger of that dreaded parental howler – stepping on a LEGO brick.

Does Marler know the pain of such a misstep?

“I do it all the time, all the blooming time,” he says with a chuckle. “But it’s great because it means I know my son’s been playing with it.”

Like the rest of the nation’s children, Marler’s kids are currently on their Easter school break, and he admits: “We’re busy scheduling away – how are we going to fill the time? How are we going to keep them occupied? Are we going to have fun with them?”

On the day he’s talking, Marler’s eldest son Jasper is at a football camp, and he’s taking his youngest boy, Felix, to play padel, the racket sport that Marler himself loves, and the girls have gone out with their mum.

“It’s just trying to make the most of the time you’ve got them,” he says. “It’s important that they go to school, but it’s even more important that you actually make connections with them on a human level outside of it all.”

He asked his builder brother-in-law to pop over to help dig the grass up for it, but says: “I showed him the packaging, and he was like ‘Mate, this playhouse is half the size of your house, it’s going to take way more than you just scraping a bit off the turf.’”

After his brother-in-law spent three days working on erecting the playhouse with the help of a mini-digger, it was finished. “It’s stronger than the house is, but the kids love it, and we just love it too,” says Marler.

“That’s our favourite thing, where you’re just watching them lose themselves, and then you’ve got to make that decision where you go. Am I going to jump in here and try and engage with them, or is that going to ruin their play?

“I mean the moment where they’re so away with the fairies that if you then jump in and say can I play with you? you bring them back down to reality.”

And he concludes with a statement his kids might disagree with: “It’s probably always more fun without me anyway.”

Joe Marler and Mark Bonnar go head-to-head in a series of fast-paced challenges with LEGO Star Wars SMART Play sets. Watch the full video here.