Limerick woman who lost husband and dad days apart reflects on grief after Camino challenge

WHEN she walked the Camino del Norte, a Limerick woman got to reflect on grief after losing her husband and her dad just days apart.

Mary Tierney walked the Camino del Norte (Bilbao to Santander), a hike that is approximately 109km long.

During the challenge, Mary raised funds for two charities close to her heart - the Children’s Grief Centre and Milford Care Centre.

“One day was incredibly tough, it was physically tough and that became mentally tough. This is because of my own circumstances, not everybody who does the Camino is grieving or going through something like this,” Mary told Limerick Leader/Limerick Live.

Mary’s husband and former Munster and Ireland scrum-half, Tom Tierney, passed away suddenly in February 2023. At the age of 46, he left behind Mary and their two daughters, Isabel and Julia.

Nine days later, Mary also lost her dad, Dermot ‘Dobs’ O’Brien, who was a beloved Limerick publican.

Even though she is not religious, Mary found the Camino to be a “spiritual” experience. In a little church in a small Spanish town, she honoured the memory of those she lost.

“I got to spend an awful lot of time in my own head that day and thinking a lot about what had happened over the previous year. There was a lovely little church, I went in there and I lit a candle for my dad and Tom. That was a very uplifting, almost spiritual moment,” she said.

“I'm not religious, but you definitely feel on trips like this, where you spend time on your own thoughts with no distractions, I don't get to do that often enough here. You think of them every day, but you don't get to sit in those emotions and let them wash over,” Mary continued.

Back in April, Mary set up a GoFundMe campaign and started sharing her experience with grief on Instagram, a platform on which she had found comfort.

“I would be quite private and my sister, Sinead, has a very big profile online, so I know what it's like. I never thought it was something I would want to do, but it's a different community with a very specific thing in common, which is sad in itself. But that has been very comforting. It’s lovely to get advice from other people and to offer advice. When I'm talking online, I feel like I'm writing in one of my journals,” she said.

How can we honour the ones we have lost one a daily basis?

“It makes you realise how important it is to live our lives, to not let it pass us by, because Tom deserves that. He deserves me to remember him. He had an amazing relationship with our girls which I'm really grateful for because they'll not just remember their dad, but they'll remember the friendship. He loved his family, just like my dad. You loved them, and that shouldn't just end because they’re not here any more.”