Longford couple are fostering for 33 years

When it comes to fatherhood, there’s not a lot that anyone can tell Tommy McNally.
The Granard man has five birth children, three adopted children, five grandchildren and has been a foster dad to 28 other young people.

No doubt Tommy’s mantlepiece was overflowing with cards on Father’s Day.
“Yes - but imagine what presents you have to give at Christmas!” Tommy says, laughing.
Tommy and his wife Bridie have been fostering for 33 years; currently, they are taking care of a two-year-old and a three-year-old.

He says that they have their children (aged from 35 years to 19 years) to thank for enabling them to provide loving care to so many others. And he’s not slow to praise Bridie either.
“I couldn’t have picked a better wife. She’s gentle, clever, and kind. Without her and the children, I wouldn’t be anybody,” says soft-spoken Tommy, who has been married 39 years.

“You can’t foster without the support of your family. We asked our children initially and they were delighted to do it. When we started, we were very nervous – I was afraid of my life if there was a bruise on a child from football; I was afraid I’d be blamed, but it wasn’t like that at all,” he adds.
Tommy credits good communication as being key when it comes to fostering.

“One of the nicest things you can do is to tell the children that you are minding them for the birth parents. You need to have good contact with both the birth parents and with foster [link] workers . Keeping friendly with the parents is of benefit to the children – it’s good for them to see if both sides are getting on.” The benefits to the children of a good home environment are clear, but the benefits for Tommy and his family are also there to see.

“I think we’re the lucky ones,” he says. “You look after them as you would your own; there’s lots of joy, but there’s sadness, too, when children go back to their birth parents.”
The experience has had a profound effect on Tommy’s own children, too. “They have gotten to see different sides of life and the value of living in a stable society. Our eldest girl is a qualified social worker, now working with autistic adults, and three of the others work in creches – that’s all a credit to what they saw in fostering.”

Tommy, who for 15 years helped train prospective foster carers, credits the Irish Foster Carers’ Association for their invaluable support down the years, and also says he has a great working relationship with Tusla and its staff.

“Our relationship is ninety-nine per cent perfect. Sometimes there are little ailments, but we work those out. Tusla are doing their best. Their phones are always open every day – you’re never on your own,” he says.

And his advice to anybody who might be considering fostering? “Go to meetings and find out what it’s all about. Give it a chance – there’s too many children with nobody; too many that warrant care. If you don’t try it, you’ll never know.”
To find out more, see fostering.ie.