Lesbian Saudi woman ‘couldn’t be happier’ after escaping arranged marriage, being granted asylum in UK and finding love
A lesbian Saudi woman whose mother “informed” her at 16 that she was to be “reserved” for an arranged marriage to a 40-year-old male cousin “couldn’t be happier” after being granted asylum in the UK, and wants “queer Saudi women to know that there is hope out there”.
Al Hussain, now 31, said she could not go through with the marriage because the reality of the situation “absolutely terrified” her as a closeted LGBTQ+ person in her home country.
Saudi Arabia outlaws same-sex relations and the punishment is based on Sharia law, with some interpretations including the death sentence, “100 blows of the whip”, or “banishment for one year”, according to Human Rights Watch.
She said she could not hide her identity by going through with the wedding to a man, so she had no choice but to escape in the middle of the night without telling anyone.
Remembering the initial conversation about the arranged marriage, Al told PA Real Life: “Sitting me down, my mum’s face was nonchalant. ‘A cousin has informed me that he’s reserving you for marriage’, I was told.
“I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I knew arranged marriages in my culture were common, but the reality of it absolutely terrified me.
On her childhood, Al said: “I grew up in a strict Muslim household in Saudi Arabia as part of a very big family. I couldn’t ever leave the house without a male guardian and we even had CCTV to keep an eye on us.
“I never felt like I was living my life. I was controlled by my family.
“It was always reiterated that I wouldn’t be allowed to get a job or live independently.
At about the age of 16, Al said she started to realise she was lesbian, which was a “scary prospect” because homosexual acts are criminalised in Saudi Arabia.
She said: “School friends would talk about boys, but I had crushes on girls and couldn’t open up to anyone about it.
“It wasn’t unheard of for peers to say that queer people would go to hell, so I just stayed in the closet.”
She said he would sometimes check in with her family about her, including saying how “excited” he was to marry her or that he could “provide anything” she wanted, but they were not allowed to talk to each other.
Without a proper timeline for the wedding, Al said she felt a “looming threat” hanging over her.
She said she “begged” her parents to allow her to go to university because she secretly thought it might help prolong the time before she was married, and they “reluctantly” agreed.
“That’s when I got desperate. I went to my future husband’s sister and said how unattractive I thought he was, which was not allowed.
“Word got back to my family and he said that if I didn’t want him, then he wasn’t going to wait for me any more.
“He called everything off and I was so relieved. I felt free, but I knew that it was a matter of time before another one would be set up.”
In 2022, she said she came across the news that the UK had opened a scheme to travel with an electronic visa, so she applied for it and was approved within weeks.
Al said: “Very early one morning, I packed up a suitcase, locked my bedroom door, and booked an Uber to get me to the airport. I tip-toed out of the front door while everyone was sleeping and ended up catching one of the earliest flights out of the country.
“I didn’t say a thing to anyone in my family about my plans.
“The minute I arrived in London, I burst into tears. And the tears didn’t stop when I went to an airport officer and said I needed to apply for asylum.
“At one point during my initial interview that day, the officer said: ‘I promise you’re safe’. But I just could not stop crying,” she added.
Over the next few months, Al said she stayed in several different asylum seeker hotels across London, but she felt “very paranoid” after what she experienced in Saudi Arabia so she “barely left” her accommodation.
She said a lifeline for her was downloading the dating app Tinder, which is where she met her girlfriend, Eris, in August 2022.
“I couldn’t be happier,” Al said. “I can truly be myself and I have also found a community that I feel safe in.”
By the end of 2023, Al said she was “thrilled” to get a call from her immigration lawyer to say that her asylum application was approved.
“I want queer Saudi women to know that there is hope out there.
“The best part is, I can wear what I want, go where I want, and be whoever I want to be.”
Al is supported by the LGBTQ+ asylum seeker charity Rainbow Migration, which you can find out more about on their website: https://www.rainbowmigration.org.uk/.
You can follow Al Hussain on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eseccaro/.