Sometimes I am reminded of what it means to be a woman, even when I want to forget.
It is no secret we live in a scary world both for men and women, but it feels as a woman the world becomes scarier everyday in new ways. At times I do forget but as a woman, you don’t get that luxury.
It was a Friday night, I was dressed up and ready to head to an event. I decided to get the bus, but when I look back now, some of the actions I subconsciously took that night, a man would never have to.
I remained on a phone call until someone knew I was at the venue safely. This is something men would never have to do, but on a dark winter’s night as a woman, I chose to for my own safety.
While on this call, I was aware of a man jogging. He was at the opposite side of the road and I crossed over. Not because I felt he was a threat, he was just jogging right?
READ NEXT: ALERT: Ireland snow latest as forecasters pinpoint area expected to get 15cmThe man then turned directions and out of nowhere I felt the need to look over my shoulder.
He was running up behind me and then slowly ran past me. Yes he was just jogging but if I wasn’t on the phone, could that have ended differently? ‘Let’s not think about what if’s,’ you say, but as a woman you have to. Every single day.
I felt my heart begin to pound and I remained frozen in fear but my legs kept moving at the same time, all while I looked over my shoulder and thought for a second, 'where is the best place to run if it goes wrong.'
It was in that moment I was brought back to the stark reality of what it means to be a woman.
This man posed no threat and I recognise that, but at that moment, I did not know that. I had seen him jog into the distance in the opposite direction and then he suddenly and silently appeared.
It is this unknown land women live in while men get the luxury to just exist. It is ironic because the people stopping us from just existing as women are men. And yes, it is not all men, but it is some of them, and we as women have no idea of knowing who is good or bad. The sad reality is even if we think we know them, we still don’t.
There is a TikTok trend going around at the moment. A girl is stuck in a forest. The question posed is: Would their male friends and family members rather them be stuck there with a man or a bear? Most of the men, if not all, chose the bear.
Whether you are looking over your shoulder, staying on the phone in a taxi, keeping one earphone in while you run, texting when you get home safe or begrudgingly giving in to the catcalls and smiling as it is at times the safest thing to do, or even going a different route home, the world is very different for a woman.
It is quite simply just exhausting to be a woman and men can and will never understand. Women and men look at many different aspects of the world through different lenses.
Men make more money yet they pay less on basic products. According to a recent study from the Central Statistics Office
Ireland (CSO), “the average man earned 9.6% more than the average woman.”
Another study from the CSO exploring the pink tax concludes that “the version of the same product from the same brand marketed for women, if not the same price, is more expensive.
“For instance, in the primary data collected, the versions of the products marketed for women were on average around 17% more expensive than the versions of the same product for men.”
According to the CSO, “the pink tax phenomenon is a gender based price discrimination problem where similar products marketed for women cost more than the equivalent product marketed at male consumers. This is particularly apparent in, but not limited to, the cosmetics industry.”
Men will never know the irony of making more money yet never having to spend more money for their own personal safety. Men have choices, but more often than not, women don’t.
Men, for your daughter, your mother, your sister, girlfriend and any woman in your life you care about, do better. If you think you are doing everything right, I promise you there is more you can do.
Yes, I will reiterate it is not all men but it is some and we have no way of knowing.
Remember this the next time you are walking behind a woman, the next time you subconsciously say something misogynistic or tell a woman she is ‘dramatic’ for not feeling how you, a man, would in that situation.
There are ways men and women both can make the world a better place but women do enough in silence; it is time for men to start making proactive change loudly.
