OPINION: 'I've become an underage referee in my 50s and learned one major lesson'

I have been involved in sport almost continually in some capacity for over 40 years. I started as a player at eight and over the years, once as my pace went and my body in no uncertain terms told me that playing was no longer an option, I have been a coach, a selector, an administrator, a parent in the stands and for close to 20 years I covered sport in Offaly and Laois as a journalist.

Through all that time, I never once considered refereeing. In fact I regularly swore blind that it was something that I would never do. I mean never. Absolutely never. Hell would have to freeze over, thaw, and then freeze again before I picked up a whistle.

In my time I have been sent off for a comment I made to a referee in a junior soccer match and I was admonished from the top table at an Offaly County Board Meeting for one particularly scathing report I wrote about a referee so not exactly the CV you would want for someone who, against their better judgement, has taken up refereeing rugby on a very small scale at the age of 50.

I know this is too early in the piece for such a dramatic plot twist but let me give some context to this remarkable 180 degree turn.

This year I have started coaching with the Birr U-13 rugby team. Like most people who get involved with teams, my son is one of the players.

And like in every sport, there is a severe shortage of referees in rugby but to fill the many gaps, the IRFU has an affiliate referee programme. Basically anyone who wants to take up refereeing has to do is pass a series of exams on line about the laws of rugby and player safety and, once you do, you can referee games, but only ones involving your own club,

In the dozen or so games we have played this season, we have rarely had a branch referee. On every other occasion we had an affiliate referee and only once was that referee from Birr. That means that the referee was always from the other team. I have to say that these referees have in the main been excellent but you always feel like something is off when the referee is nearly always from the other club.

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So in my infinite wisdom, or more like a moment of utter madness, I logged on to the IRFU website and set about starting my journey as a referee. Even typing those words now feels like an out of body experience. Me, a referee????

I managed to dodge taking charge of a game before Christmas when another referee from Birr took the whistle for our game against Cill Dara but I had cast the die and eventually my number came up on Sunday, January 12.

I had lofty expectations of what I would do when I took to the field to referee my first game, whistle in hand an stopwatch at the ready, pencil and paper in the pocket as Birr U-13s took on Dublin giants Terenure in Terenure.

I was confident I knew all the laws, or at very least the vast majority of them. I was going to let the game flow. I was going to referee with common sense. I was going to referee like a former player should. I was going to get every decision right and I was going to be applauded off the pitch by both sets of players and lauded by coaches for being the best referee they ever had.

Now I had a choice of two quotes to use at this point to best describe how those lofty expectations changed and how I felt when the ball was kicked off but I am going leave Sun Tzu to the side and go with the immortal words of Mike Tyson, “Everybody has a game plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

Thankfully it was only a metaphorical punch in the mouth but despite all my experience in sport and the fact that I pride myself on being calm under pressure, all I could think as 30 amped up 12 year olds ran around at a pace that this 50 year-old struggled to match was how did I get myself into this?

As the game progressed I settled to the task and although my lungs and legs were burning and I probably didn't get every decision right, both teams were happy with how it was going and so, to be honest, was I.

But then, in an instant, I suddenly realised how every referee who has ever had to make a big decision in a split second in any game from an U-13 rugby match to an All-Ireland Final must feel and let me tell you it is a lonely place.

Let me set the scene. There was a ruck on the extreme right of the pitch and I was doing all the things a referee should do like shouting 'tackler release', 'hands away' and 'use it Birr'.

However rugby is a game that can move quickly and Birr moved the ball to the left wing where a break was made that moved rapidly up the field. I sprinted as quickly as I could to catch up but the play came to an abrupt stop when the Birr player was forced into touch.

From my vantage point it looked like it could have been a sliding tackle, which is obviously against the laws of the game, but my view was obscured by players and I couldn't be sure. Birr players and supporters were adamant it was a sliding tackle and the player was on the ground holding his leg.

This is when I had a choice to make and I imagine it is a choice every referee has to make over and over again. Do you give a decision based on what you actually saw or do you give a decision based on what you think happened? I took a long breath, and I mean a long breath and soon realised that all I could do was give a decision based on what I could definitely say happened. I didn't see an actual sliding tackle so I didn't give a penalty and awarded a line out to Terenure.

Deep down I knew it was wrong but I just couldn't make a decision based on something I couldn't be sure of and hadn't seen.

Last weekend I refereed my second game, this time away to Skerries, and again I found myself in a position where I had to make a decision based on what I saw or what I thought might have happened.

A Skerries player was making for the corner on a break when he was tackled by the covering Birr defender. I will hold my hand up here and say I was behind the play and had a bad angle to see what happened as the player crossed the line but when I got a glimpse, the ball was grounded so I awarded the try. Just a reminder here that I am also a coach of the Birr Under 13s and they are a fantastic bunch of lads and the way they reacted immediately made me think I had made a mistake.

They were adamant the ball had been knocked out and given how they reacted together, on the balance of probability, it probably was. But all I could do was give a decision on the basis of what I had seen and I saw the ball grounded so, much to their annoyance, I awarded the try.

There was another incident in that game and this one is still nagging me as, while the other decisions were based on things I couldn't see, in this case I am almost 100% sure I made a mistake that ultimately cost Birr the game.

Without boring you with all the Laws of Rugby, if a player makes a tackle or assists in a tackle, they must release the player before they can try and take the ball from the player on the ground.

There were three minutes to go in an absolutely cracking game between two evenly matched sides and Birr were leading by three. Skerries were on the attack close to the Birr line but the defence was superb and a number of close range attacks were ferociously repelled. And then came the moment.

A Skerries player carried into contact and was tackled to the ground. From my vantage point, it looked like a Birr player who had assisted in the tackle got his hands on the ball without a clear release. I shouted 'hands away Birr' but the hands stayed on so I made the game changing decision to award a penalty to Skerries.

In that instant I was sure I made the right call. I had no doubt what I had seen, absolutely none, and I moved away to allow the game to continue.

Seconds later, I wasn't so sure anymore. As the players broke, our number seven, who is a demon at the breakdown, and who was the player who had his hands on the ball looked at me and simply and calmly said, 'Damian, I didn't make the tackle'.

Knowing this young man and by the look on his face and the tone of his voice, I knew he was telling the truth but, for better or worse, I had made the decision and I couldn't change it.

My heart sank and to make matters worse, Skerries scored a try from the penalty to win the game. I felt I'd let my team down badly. None of them said anything but I could tell they were mad at me and to be honest I didn't blame them one bit and I wouldn't have blamed them either if they hadn't let me on the bus home. Luckily my daughter lives in Rush so I had a Plan B if I was stuck.

I should put things in context at this point. The implications of me getting a decision or two wrong in an U-13 Leinster League Rugby game are not that long lasting. In fact by the time we got back to the M-1 the lads were singing at the back of the bus, although I'm not sure if I was forgiven. I'll only find that out at training this week when I'm holding a tackle bag for drills. I bet there might be a bit more intensity in the hits I get.

What I know now that I don't think I realised before I became the man in the middle is I would not want to be the man or woman on the whistle for a game where far more is on the line. The pressure must be immense.

I had maybe 50 very quiet and respectful parents watching the game and judging my performance and that was bad enough. Imagine having 50,000 people baying for your blood in the Aviva if they perceive you have done their team wrong?

Don't get me wrong though. I have found refereeing to be rewarding and will keep doing it until my hamstring invariably pops. Without referees who have been doing it much longer and much better than me, there is a real danger of games across a variety of codes not going ahead. For rugby in particular, it takes a matter of hours to become a volunteer affiliate referee and you would be doing a great service for your team and, if you have the time, your club.

Despite the fact that I have only refereed a grand total of 110 minutes of U-13 rugby, I have a newfound respect for those who referee week in and week out at every level in every sport. My eyes have been opened to the challenges they face with every single decision they have to make.

We can all referee from the sidelines, the stands or while watching a game on television but it could not be more different when you cross the white line and actually take charge of a game. At that point your decisions matter and are not just opinions shouted into the ether.

Now that doesn't mean I've had a complete Road to Damascus moment and that I'm promising that I won't feel hard done by when decisions go against teams I am involved with or support. I bet all referees are the same when they are not on the whistle because reacting at a sporting event is just human nature.

But what I am promising is that I will keep that feeling to myself and I will be far more understanding of the supremely difficult job a referee does given I have so far done a grand total of 24,628 steps in their unenviable boots.