Young homeowners who used bank of mum and dad ‘pressured to live near parents’

Young homeowners are finding that the “bank of mum and dad” comes with strings attached, with some people whose parents gave them financial help to get on the property ladder saying they felt obliged to live nearby.

More than six in 10 (62%) homeowners aged under 35 who were helped by the “bank of mum and dad” to buy their property said they felt pressure to stay geographically close to their parents because of the help they received, a survey for Compare the Market found.

And two-thirds (67%) said they feel less able to push back against their parents in disagreements because of the help they received.

More than a fifth (22%) said their parents visit them more often as a direct result of the financial help they gave them, while a smaller proportion (17%) said their parents had a say in which home they chose and continued to have an influence on any significant home improvements.

The survey also highlighted the impact on parents of giving financial help, with three-quarters (75%) of homeowners saying they worry about how it could affect their parents’ retirement security.

Some of those surveyed had received as much as £50,000 to £60,000 in financial support from parents.

Some had used their parents as guarantors, with parental help also being used to help fund deposits, legal fees, building work and furniture.

More than two-thirds (69%) of homeowners said they felt grateful for the help they received from parents when buying their first property, and more than half (52%) said they felt lucky. A minority said they felt guilty (16%), secretive (8%) or indebted (17%).

Some 64% said they have often or sometimes felt the need to conceal how much their parents helped with their house purchase for fear of being “judged”.

Nearly half (46%) of homeowners who had received financial support from their parents said it affected their relationships with their friends, with nearly a third (31%) saying they had fallen out with a friend over it.

The financial help from parents does not stop at first home purchases. More than a third (38%) of bank of mum and dad beneficiaries said they also plan to use financial support from their parents to buy their next home.

Three in 10 (30%) of those who received help from parents to buy their first home continue to receive financial support to help with the upkeep of their property, such as for renovations or mortgage payments.

After moving into their home, people said they received an additional £2,204 on average from their parents to fund further ongoing costs.

Aside from ongoing family help, more than a quarter (27%) of people said they rely on credit cards for living costs, and just under a quarter (23%) have taken out a personal loan. Nearly three-quarters (72%) fund all ongoing costs from their regular income and savings.

Sajni Shah, a money expert at Compare the Market, said: “For many first-time buyers, help from the bank of mum and dad can be the difference between getting on the property ladder or missing out altogether – but these findings show that the support often comes with emotional and practical trade-offs.

“What’s striking is that financial help doesn’t always mean financial security. More than a quarter of respondents still relied on credit cards for everyday living costs, and many took out personal loans on top of their mortgage.

“It’s so important that those buyers relying on these products shop around for competitive mortgage deals and credit cards.”

More than 2,000 people aged under 35 who received financial support from their parents when buying their first property were surveyed in January by Censuswide for the research.