‘I thought moths were out to get me’ says grandad whose insect phobia was so intense he dreaded his garden for decades

A grandfather whose phobia of being “attacked” by moths was so intense he avoided his garden during summer evenings for decades now loves the insects thanks to a fear-curing clinic.

Dave Jackson, 59, from Darwen, Lancashire, developed a phobia of moths, known as lepidopterophobia, in his early 20s after working nights at an envelope-making factory where the winged insects were attracted to the lights and the warm appliances.

The machine operator said the harmless bugs “frightened the life” out of him when they fluttered past his head or flew into objects, adding he thought they were “out to get” him.

Years on and Dave found his phobia was “taking over” his life to the point where he would “dread” summertime, avoid camping trips and could not enjoy a drink in his garden on warm evenings, which he felt was “unfair” for his wife of 16 years, Bev, 63.

After visiting a special clinic in Amsterdam in October 2023, dedicated to treating those with fears and phobias, Dave now wants to “embrace all the moths” – he has held the insect in his hand and even moved one into his home, saying the experience has been “life-changing”.

“It’s just the thought that these moths were out to get me, to attack me,” Dave told PA Real Life.

“It was silly but obviously when you have a phobia, it’s not silly as that’s how you think.

“I used to think they could sense my feelings, my emotions – I was petrified of them.”

Dave’s lepidopterophobia first began in his early 20s when he worked nights at an envelope-making factory in Darwen, which was a hotbed for the insects.

“They used to come in all the time all during the night, flying around, this fat body and these wings.

“Because they were disorientated, they used to bang into the machine, they’d hit you, or they’d just land on your table – they frightened the hell out of me.

“As time went on, it got worse and worse and I got more worried of them.”

Dave said seeing a moth would induce “panic” and “fear”, especially if he encountered one outside of work.

“I was expecting it at work because it was night time so I was always looking but if I was out in the garden having a drink in the evening, I wasn’t expecting it,” he said.

“One would fly past and scare the life out of me.”

Dave began to feel as though his phobia was taking over his life.

“It got to the point where I was dreading summertime – you shouldn’t be dreading summertime, you should be looking forward to it – but I knew summer meant moths coming out at night,” he said.

“It certainly got worse and worse, it came to a point where I was thinking it’s taken over my life.”

Dave also struggled with camping trips or evenings spent by a BBQ over the summer, which he felt was unfair for his wife, Bev.

“I couldn’t even enjoy a drink in the garden on a summer evening because I didn’t feel relaxed,” he said.

“My wife, Bev, was 100% understanding but it wasn’t fair on her and I knew I had to get a grip on this fear.

“But when you’ve had it for 30-odd years and it’s just getting worse and worse, I didn’t know what to do.”

By chance, Dave said his wife spotted an advertisement on Facebook calling out to those with extreme phobias for their participation in an experiment that forms the basis of a Channel 4 documentary, titled The Fear Clinic.

The show, which airs later in January, focuses on sending Britons with phobias to a unique clinic in Amsterdam called Kindt Clinics where they receive Memory Reconsolidation treatment.

The technique has been developed by Dr Merel Kindt at the University of Amsterdam and it aims to treat extreme phobias by changing the way people feel when they next see the object they fear.

Dave said he was selected to participate in the experiment and he went to Amsterdam for three nights in October 2023.

While at the clinic, he said he was first told to have a conversation with a psychologist before entering a room filled with around 30 to 40 moths for five minutes.

“You have to be honest with yourself for it to work,” Dave said.

“If you want to cry, cry, if you want to scream, scream, but the aim was to try and not leave the room.”

Following this, Dave was instructed to take a beta-blocker – which helped to alter the way the emotional memory of his fear is saved in his brain – and asked to relax in a room for an hour before returning to his hotel.

“They said to not think about what just happened or talk about what just happened but to have an early night and see how you feel in the morning,” Dave explained.

The next day, he said he felt “amazing”.

“It’s hard to explain but I wanted to go back and embrace all the moths and hold them all,” he said.

“I went back the next day and asked if I could hold a moth.

“I thought it would be big and clumsy but it was soft and gentle, it’s not what I thought it would be.”

After returning home to the UK, Dave continued to overcome his fear to the point where he brought a moth into his home.

“I don’t have a problem at all – I love moths now,” he said.

“I’ll look at them and I think how beautiful they are, the colours, the patterns, the shape of their wings, everything.

“We had a caterpillar in the shed the other day, we did a bit of research and found out it was actually a moth.

“We brought it into the house, put some soil, a few leaves and a bit of fruit and looked after it.”

Dave added he feels “over the moon” with the results from the clinic, saying he “can’t thank them enough”.

“I never would have gone to Amsterdam, I never would have known about the clinic if it weren’t for Channel 4 and everybody else involved,” he said.

“I would still be living in fear.”

The Fear Clinic airs on Channel 4 and Channel4.com on January 21 where you can watch Dave’s story of overcoming his phobia.