Researchers uncover hidden psychology behind a ‘good kiss’

A good kiss has more to do with the “thoughts, fantasies and emotional context we bring to it” than the physical act itself, scientists have discovered.

Researchers at Abertay University set out to test the assumption that kissing sparks sexual chemistry, and to explore how cognitive and emotional factors influence kissing behaviours.

To do this they carried out an online survey in which respondents were asked about their attitudes, experiences and fantasies related to intimacy and kissing.

The participants, who were based in the UK and Italy, rated the qualities they associate with good kissing, and reflected on their own kissing ability.

They also reported how often they experience intimate fantasies, and provided information on sexual desire.

The results showed kissing is “far more than a sensory experience”.

The researchers found people who often daydream about intimacy tend to place more importance on contact and arousal when deciding what makes someone a good kisser.

This pattern held even when the researchers considered factors like creativity and sexual desire.

They said this shows imagination, and not just physical sensation, plays a key role in how we experience affection.

Dr Christopher Watkins, senior lecturer in the department of sociological and psychological sciences at Abertay University, said: “Our findings show that kissing is far more than a sensory experience.

“It’s shaped by the thoughts, fantasies, and emotional context we bring to it.

“Historically, certain strands of research on human sexuality have focused on sensory experiences and how we respond to physical stimulation, but our study highlights how imagination and internal states play an important role in how we interact with a partner when kissing them.

“By examining both the psychological and physical elements, we can better understand why people differ in how they use and appreciate kissing in their relationships, and why a single kiss can feel so meaningful.”

The team said the study’s findings could be developed into a “simple tool” within couples therapy.

Study co-author Milena Rota, who is now a PhD student at the University of Leicester, said: “By showing how fantasy shapes romantic behaviour, our research offers fresh insight into the role played by our thoughts in how we express ourselves in romantic contexts.

“Our research could be developed further as one simple tool within couples therapy, looking at how fantasy could guide behaviours – in this case a romantic kiss – where frequent kissing has previously shown to be related to higher quality romantic relationships.”

The study was published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy.