Derry couple hoping to inspire others with their experience of foster caring

A Derry couple are hoping that their experience will inspire other people to think about becoming foster parents.

Majella (49) and Tony (53) McIntyre from Derry have been foster carers with Foster Care Associates Northern Ireland for nearly a year.

Describing their experience so far as ‘simply amazing’, Majella explains why she wishes she had become a foster carer years ago.

She said: "I absolutely loved my job as a yoga instructor and had my own studio. Tony had been volunteering for ChildLine, listening to children who are going through some really difficult times. During this time he had heard some truly awful and sad stories and this has always urged us to want to help more if we could.

"When I spoke about the desire to help children and become a foster carer I was always encouraged by those with a knowledge of fostering to foster with a private agency, as the support and training on offer was meant to be a lot more superior and personal.

"Having spoken to the local Trust previously and not taking to them very well, I decided to listen to the advice and began doing some research into private fostering agencies.

“Impressed by what we read about FCA Northern Ireland we called them and arranged a home visit. When we met their representative we instantly felt a great connection, and really felt the agency had a positive energy.

"Before we committed to anything, we discussed being foster carers with our two birth children who are 20 and 24 years old.

"We started talking about what a lovely childhood they both had full of opportunities and guidance, and explained that we would love to be able to help children who have not had such a fortunate start in life have these same opportunities.

"Our children were totally on board and really encouraged us to go for it. However some of our friends thought we were crazy at the time. They couldn’t believe that now we had an empty nest with our children at university and all moved out, that we would want to invite more children into our home."

Majella reflected on the challenges the couple have faced and the types of placements they have looked after during the start of their fostering journey.

"We have already looked after a number of special young people as foster carers with FCA Northern Ireland. We have welcomed children on respite and emergency placements into our home, and looked after teenagers and children with special needs too. We are currently fostering two babies on a short term placement.

‘’We have thoroughly enjoyed every second of getting to know the young people that have welcomed into our lives the past few months, however fostering has completely changed our lifestyle and with this change we have experienced some challenges.

"As we are looking after babies we still have supervised visits and meetings with birth parents as part of a transitioning process. For Tony and I this has been one of the biggest challenges so far. Seeing where the children in our care may have come from, and the rough start they might have had in life, is sometimes hard to come to terms with – it can be very upsetting.

"Making time for yourself and your family is extremely important too as having new priorities and less time for yourself can take some getting used to."

Majella also describes the kind of support the couple have received from FCA.

She said: "FCA have been absolutely amazing!  We have received endless support since the start of our fostering journey with them. From small texts and calls checking in on us, making sure we are coping to incredible training sessions and courses such as mindfulness – a session where we get really deep in thought about the young people as well as ourselves.

"FCA truly makes us foster carers feel  as much of a priority as the children in our care, which we feel is so important as without carers there would be no one to help these young people in need. From the people in the offices right through to our social worker we have experienced nothing but kindness and an endless supply of support from FCA."

When asked about how people react to the couple when they tell them they are foster carers Majella explains that they have been overwhelmed with support, and also offers some advice to those considering fostering.

"People often get really emotional when we explain that we are foster carers. They feel that we are doing something so positive and so selfless, they often seem awe struck. We simply say that we are the lucky ones, that we have been blessed as these children have brought such energy and laughter into our home.

"If people are curious about fostering we tell them not to give it a second thought. If I had any advice to offer it would be not to hesitate or doubt yourself and your abilities. If you are considering foster care, you should get in touch with FCA straight away. You will get far more back from the experience than you put in.

"In such a short space of time there have already been so many memorable moments being a foster carer. In September the babies we are looking after both celebrated their birthdays. We had a joint party for them and this was definitely one of my favourite moments.

"To give children the opportunity to do something they have never done before or go somewhere like the park or the beach, places we all take for granted as we’ve been so many times is really special. This birthday party felt a lot like that, seeing the joy on the children’s faces was priceless.”

Majella said their fostering experience had been 'life changing'.

"The experience has been life changing for Tony and myself. I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I closed my yoga studio.

"I absolutely loved being a yoga instructor – but I will never regret my decision to switch to a career in fostering. In fact the only thing we regret is that we didn’t become foster carers sooner."

FCA provides ongoing comprehensive support to all foster carers including training, a financial allowance, access to carer support groups and organised family activities – all contributing factors as to why FCA placements are 22% more stable than the national average.

For more information on becoming a foster carer with FCA Northern Ireland, and to find out more about forthcoming regional events call 0800 022 4330 or visit www.thefca.co.uk.