Ruaidhri Higgins: 'Do I still have the drive and hunger to keep going? My intentions now are to keep going.'

Ruaidhri Higgins insists he wants to and intends to stay on as Derry City manager despite the painful end to the season, which culminated in an FAI Cup final defeat to Drogheda United.

The City boss admitted he was ‘hurting badly’ after the 2-0 defeat, which meant that the Candystripes end the season empty-handed again, and also failed to qualify for Europe in his time in charge.

Higgins, who has faced criticism for the manner in which Derry City lost the league title race with Shelbourne, admitted that his team were not good enough again when it mattered.

“We didn’t have a spark about us,” he admitted. “The last month has been extremely difficult. Four weeks ago, we had the opportunity to win two trophies and it’s been anti-climactic. It has been a really terrible end to the season and huge, huge disappointment when three or four weeks ago we had the opportunity to win two trophies.”

When asked about his future after the game, Higgins insisted he wanted to stay.

“It's very, very raw,” he said. “I spent eight and a half years as a player, three and a half years as a manager, so that’s 12 years I have represented this club and I’m proud to represent and manage the club. I’m still in contract. When times are tough you have two options; you can roll over or you can come out fighting. I live in a city that when the going gets tough, normally you come out fighting, and that’s what we’ll come out and do.”

“The club means an awful lot to me. I can get criticised for being emotionless at times but believe me, I’m an extremely emotional person and when we don’t achieve, it hurts and it hurts badly. It effects your life and it effects the people around your life. Do I still have the drive and hunger to keep going? I think when the dust settles, my intentions right now are to keep going and we have to try and look forward.”

“I have a really, really good relationship with Philip (O’Doherty). He has been a big supporter of mine; his support has been unwavering really. It’s not about me. As a collective, we haven’t been good enough. The thing that really, really hurts badly, we had both trophies in our hands, and we came up short.”

The City boss did admit tough that there needs to be big changes going forward.

“There has to be a refresh and a reboot,” he stated. “There’s work to be done, that’s for sure.  There’s work to be done for the club to try and go forward.

“It hurts because there was real, real potential, real excitement and it feels like an anti-climax. There’s a lot of soul searching to be done and it will be a long off-season I’m sure.”

Higgins admitted that despite the experience of the players in his squad, something was missing when it came to the crucial moments in a disappointing campaign.

“When it really mattered we came up short,” he agreed. “We can’t deny that or put any other spin on it. When it really mattered we didn’t produce the goods and that’s the hardest part. We talked about it in there – to get over the line, you need a real, real strong mentality and we need everyone together and we haven’t been good enough in certain periods of the season.”

The City boss thanked the travelling support, over 20,000 of which again made the trip to the Aviva Stadium.

“They went right to the end, they kept singing and getting behind the team,” he said. “I’m sorry that we’ve let them down and it will be a long journey home for them I’m sure as it will be for us. Derry supporters are proud people and we came in massive numbers again and we’ve disappointed them. As I said, in real key moments, there were such fine margins; we had the two best opportunities in the game, and there’s probably been too many times, I think when you look back at certain games, we had opportunities in games, and we didn’t take them, and the best teams take them.”

Despite the disappointment, Higgins was adamant that he has learned a lot from this season.

“I mean it when I say that I back myself,” he said. “I’ve worked extremely hard to be in this position. It’s been years and years of hard work. Football is my life; results can go against you and for you, but I’ve always remained confident in myself. I have got a belief in what I do and I don’t think that will ever change. I am young, I’ve just turned 40. I’ve gained a lot of experience in the last three-and-a-half years and an awful lot of learning this year, an awful lot, and I’m sure I’ll keep developing. It’s what I love. It’s what I do, it’s all I know. I love the game.”