Grief cafés offer lifeline to bereaved parents, says Inishowen mum
Leeann Callaghan, who lost her son Hugh in 2011, is encouraging parents across Donegal to attend upcoming Anam Cara support events in Buncrana
A mother who lost her eight-year-old son in 2011 is encouraging other bereaved parents to attend upcoming grief cafés in Buncrana.
The drop-in cafés, which will be held in the Inishowen Gateway Hotel on Thursday 14 May and Thursday 11 June 11, are organised by Anam Cara the all-island organisation that supports bereaved parents.
Leeann Callaghan from Carndonagh told how her bright and bubbly son, Hugh Simpson Callaghan, died suddenly in January 2011, plunging the family into the darkest of times.
Ms Callaghan, a mother of seven who co-ordinates a child and adolescent therapeutic centre called Hughie’s Corner in honour of her little boy, believes bereaved parents can benefit greatly from attending the cafés.
“It’s so important that parents have that time and space. Sitting with others who understand grief is quite unique to what Anam Cara provides,” she said. “When you have lost a child, you’re expected to put a broken family back together.
“When I think back to the early days after we lost Hugh, and I was pregnant with my son Sean at the time, I realise I was only functioning.
“Having that space to meet other parents is like a lifeline and it doesn’t matter if you’re newly bereaved or bereaved a long time.
“When such a traumatic event happens in your life, you can get stuck there; having Anam Cara is so important.
“Parents think they’ll be grand and you’re always thinking about your kids. As parents, we did that and that’s how Hughie’s Corner arose, but we all need support.”
Ms Callaghan, who is also mother to Jonathan, 26, Jade, 25, Kiersha, 19, Seanice, 17, Sean, 15, and Meisha, 13, explained that the cafés are aimed at parents and will be facilitated by grief counsellor Olive Morrissey, who has a post-graduate qualification in children and loss with the Irish Hospice Foundation.
She said the grief cafés will provide a space where bereaved parents do not have to pretend they are OK.
“We do that; we walk around and people are asking, ‘How are you?’ and you say, ‘I’m OK’,” Leeann admits. “You go home, close the door and the mask comes off.
“The cafés will give parents the chance to sit with each other in a private space. There’s no pressure on anyone to speak - just come along.
“Having to speak would’ve put me off a group in the past. Now I know I can go and I can just sit and be in a room where people understand.”
According to Anam Cara CEO Michelle Reynolds, the death of a child changes everything in a parent’s world.
“The grief is lifelong and unique and it can feel very isolating, especially when those around you may not fully understand,” she said.
For the months of May and June, these events are taking place instead of Anam Cara’s usual parent support evenings in Letterkenny.
The Buncrana Bereavement Cafés will be held at the Inishowen Gateway Hotel on May 14 and June 11 from 7.30pm to 9pm. The events are free and anyone wishing to register can do so online through the Eventbrite links below