Aches, pains and worse

Aches, pains and worse

C’mere ‘til I tell ya

Daniel Carey

INJURIES can happen in all sorts of ways. And when you hear what’s involved in the annual Royal Shrovetide football match, played every Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesday in Derbyshire, it won’t surprise you to hear that some of the participants pick up knocks.

Dubbed ‘Britain’s maddest football match’, the game dates back to the 17th century, and has changed little since then. Once a year, the town of Ashbourne splits into Up’ards and Down’ards – those born north and south of the River Henmore – for what the AFP news agency describes as ‘a blood-and-thunder ruck that rampages through the streets and surrounding fields’. The riverbank goals are millstones three miles apart and the few rules are simple: no killing, no hiding the ball, and no going in the churchyard.

Peter Rowbotham, a member of the organising committee, estimates that between 2,000 and 3,000 people take part. And it’s rough. “There’s broken ankles, bust ribs. There’s no quarter given or taken, but there is integrity. If somebody goes down in the hug [the giant rolling ruck, where the ball is mostly held], they will pick them up,” the 73-year-old, who played for four decades, told AFP.

For Robyn Wright, who got the winning goal for the Up’ards this year, it was the culmination of a lifelong ambition. Perhaps Boris Isayev from west Russia always dreamed of winning his local pancake-eating contest. If so, the 48-year-old achieved his ambition, but dropped dead while accepting his prize.

Isayev died on stage moments after winning the competition in the town of Chernyakhovsk, in which he ate 34 banana and cream stuffed desserts. Doctors believe he choked after a piece of pancake got lodged in his throat. Curiously, celebrations are said to have continued after Mr Isayev’s body was taken away in an ambulance.

Obviously none of the spectators at the pancake-eating event would have expected to see a death – any more than US shoppers would have guessed that three shoppers would end up dead during ‘Black Friday’ sales last November.

The day after Thanksgiving is traditionally one of the biggest retail days of the year in America, but ‘Black Friday’ lived up its name last year. A Wal-Mart employee was killed when a crowd, which had gathered for a sale at a Long Island outlet, surged into the shop as the doors were being opened at 5am. On the same day, two men shot and killed each other at a crowded Toys R Us shop in southern California after both produced guns following a fight between two women.

Bizarrely, that wasn’t even the strangest gun-related incident in America that weekend. The American football Super Bowl star Plaxico Burress, a member of the New York Giants team, accidentally shot himself in the leg in a Manhattan night club.

The 31-year-old told club management he needed the gun to protect himself, but as he was being led into a VIP area, the gun slipped down his pants leg. He reached for the weapon, but fumbled it and it went off. The bullet tore through Burress’ already injured right thigh, police said.

Playing American football must be a doddle after that.