Maybe it’s time we had a party

Does your life seem pointless? I don’t know about you, but I often feel that I’m slipping into ‘non-personhood’ - that nothing seems to be happening.

When you reach that nadir, it’s definitely time to get active and stop wondering if there’s any point to existence. First, though, you need to make sure that you do actually exist. If you live alone and there is nobody to address you by name, it can seem doubtful - the use of a name confers identity.

It’s time for a party! By this act of entertaining it’s possible to kill two birds with one stone, i.e. to make something happen and verify that one’s alive. You can actually get addicted to this - as I have found. By organising so many pleasant evenings in the company of friends it now appears that I have a decadent life-style akin to the ancient Romans. In fact it turns out, according to official research, that interaction with other humans is essential to keep one sane and healthy. So there!

Still, having made something happen and established one’s existence, the question remains - what’s the point of it? According to the Christian religion, the point is to get to Heaven. One can achieve this by praying a lot and going on pilgrimages; Buddhists think that we have a lot of lives to endure, hopefully with an improvement in each successive one, depending on our behaviour therein, the ultimate aim being Nirvana, the stage of absolute blessedness. Paradise for others contains a lot of virgins and the point of their existence is to get there - which can be done by depriving a lot of others of theirs.

All of these aims seem entirely egotistical and don’t seem to accomplish any real earthly achievement beneficial to the planet, or any of its inhabitants. The general aim of those who have managed to achieve and pass beyond humanity’s initial aim of surviving would seem to be the glorification and enrichment of the self by fair means or foul. The more ambitious, or grandiose, the aim, the more interesting (or less boring) life becomes for oneself, which I suppose is the point, as most great achievements aren’t much use to anyone else. Like climbing Everest, say, or winning an Olympic medal, or fasting for umpteen days...

Points of existence that transcend the ego and have global consequences should be the ones that we all aspire to. Ireland has provided us with several examples, to wit: Adi Roche, John O’Shea and Father Shay Cullen, whose sole raison d’etre is rescuing the sex slaves of the Philippines. (From Irish paedophiles, among others it turns out).

Perhaps people should be called upon to justify their existence in terms of improving the condition of the planet, or its inhabitants, and this might give rise to an aim. If everybody did this, it mightn’t seem so important to get into Heaven, or its variants.

If you’re too old at this stage to formulate an aim, a project is the next best thing. While it doesn’t exactly give a point to existence, or really make it worthwhile, a completed project can provide a certain degree of satisfaction. If you’re really decrepit, for instance, a project to hoover the house would be a major undertaking and could be contemplated for several days previously. Or you could embark on making Christmas presents - something that could be contemplated for several months. Or how about a plan to re-design the garden? (For the more robust).

Then we come back to parties. These fulfil a lot of conditions besides maintaining one’s health and sanity. In the first place you have to make them happen, then they can become fairly obsessive, thus diverting the mind from dwelling on other unpleasant aspects of life. It’s necessary to look one’s best for the occasion, so no slipping into terminal decline and, finally, they provide periods of pleasure for one’s friends, who collectively do confirm that one really does exist.