Parting thoughts

FOR those of you who have ever wondered what it’s like to be a newspaper editor, I’ll try to relate my experience of the last three years in this, my final column.

It was daunting at first and, in some ways, that never really changed. Over 100 pages to be filled every week, a critical public ready to scrutinise, deadlines to be met, editorial policies to be decided and shaped – and, em, me in charge. There were moments when it was surreal, hours when it was frightening, nights when it was sleep-depriving.

But between the flashes of potential disasters and the pangs of self-doubt, your shoulders broaden and you learn to balance the load. Either that or you might as well hit the road. To be a bit of a doubting Thomas is a strength in a journalist; to be a chronically self-doubting Mary is debilitating in an editor.

That’s not to say you don’t question yourself. A newspaper’s job is to question everything; if the person driving it doesn’t bother to question him- or herself the answers it provides its readers won’t be too insightful. Am I probing enough? Am I fair? Am I strong enough? Am I setting the right example? Am I sensitive when I need to be? Am I responsible in the tone I adopt? Am I careful never to lose sight of humanity in the hunt for a story?

And after all of these questions are answered comes the most important one of all, the one that never goes away: am I remaining true to myself? There are a lot of factors to consider and a lot of variables to deal with every week in consistently trying to produce the best possible newspaper. But, above all, you have to be able to live with myself. You must be capable of sleeping peacefully at night and be fit to look at the reflection that greets you in the mirror every morning.

So, essentially, being an editor is the same as being in any other job. It’s about being a person first and a professional second. At least that’s the way I tried to do it.

Not everyone will have agreed with opinions I’ve committed to print, editorial stances the paper has taken under my stewardship, things I’ve changed, others I haven’t. If you all did, I would have failed miserably. Whatever else it may be, an editor’s job is absolutely not to be universally popular. It is to try to objectively bring a composite of news, features, analysis, opinion and sport, in a well-written, visually-attractive, challenging, responsible and authoritative way to a wide and varied audience. The finished product cannot always be to everyone’s liking, but so long as it is underpinned by the principles of truth, fairness, justice and integrity, I believe its editor can hold his or her head up. If I have ever failed in my commitment to those principles, and through that failure have wounded anyone, I am truly sorry.

I’ve made many mistakes along the way, and for them I’m thankful. If I didn’t make any it would have been a blissfully painless three years, but a worthless learning experience. Instead it has brought anguish, joy, guilt, pride, loneliness, regret, elation, hurt and satisfaction, and has taught me more lessons than my 18 years of formal education ever did.

In short, being editor of The Mayo News has been the most exciting and wonderful journey I’ve ever undertaken. It’s been shaped not by the tasks I’ve performed, but by the many people I’ve met along the road: those who have enriched my life with their friendship; those whose gently guiding and affirming hands have soothed me and directed me; those who have challenged me to be a stronger person; those who stood with me when I felt most alone; those who have read and enjoyed what I helped create each week. And I only helped, because every editor is only as good as the team of colleagues with whom he or she works. In that, God, fate, providence – and whoever else – all combined to give me my biggest break of all.

My journey with The Mayo News is at an end. It’s been a privilege. Thank you for sharing it with me.