‘I converted to Mormonism at 15 and baptised over 150 others as a missionary in Paraguay – then I came out as gay’

A teenager who converted to Mormonism and went on to become a missionary in Paraguay where he baptised more than 150 people said “finding more truth” about himself led to him coming out as gay at 23 and leaving the church.

Michael R Speciale, 39, a producer and performer living in Los Angeles, said he joined the Mormon Church at 15 in June 2003 when he became “very captivated” by it, despite being baptised Lutheran and believing he might be bisexual at the time.

He said he became a “golden Mormon boy”, eventually signing up to a two-year mission in Paraguay from July 2006, aged 19.

This is when Michael said he converted over 150 people, including whole families of up to seven people, but his “niche” was young adults like him, where he could share his personal story of converting at 15.

He said he did not tolerate “crude” homophobic remarks from others and tried to lead with love, but one of the “hardest” memories he has is telling a young lesbian woman that she can “be changed”.

The Mormon Church teaches that same-sex “attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is”, according to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints website.

After returning home to the US, Michael said he felt pressure to “find a wife”, and he met a Mormon man named Jeremiah Ginn – who he said “struggled with same-sex attraction” – and ended up getting romantically close with him.

Michael noticed his “faith start to crack” as a result and, by the time he was 23 in October 2010, he came out as gay via an internet blog post, before he stopped going to church around the same time.

He is now sharing his experiences as part of a new Edinburgh Fringe show that he said is like a “cabaret confession”, adding that he is sharing the lessons he has learnt.

Reflecting on his time as a Mormon missionary in Paraguay, Michael told PA Real Life: “So much of what was happening in those years is that I was a perfect little poster child for the church.

“To know that I was going to be able to take my story and share it to convert other people, I felt quite excited to do that.

“I was very young, but I could have been more critical about the church.”

“That’s one of my deep regrets… but I try to give myself grace,” he added.

Michael said he grew up in a “socially progressive” household and went to a liberal performing arts high school in the early 2000s, where he confided to a friend at 14 that he thought he was bisexual.

This same friend converted to Mormonism and Michael said he was “really curious” about the religion so he decided to join his friend at Sunday school.

His friend got baptised in April 2003, and Michael remembered: “The thing that really got me at her baptism was that they played the hymn Nearer My God To Thee, which I recognised from the film Titanic.

“And just seeing she was so happy that day to get baptised… I loved it.”

Michael had his own baptism in June 2003, three days before his 16th birthday, and reflected on it now as a “fairly impulsive decision”.

Over the next three years, Michael said he became “very active” in the church, despite occasionally watching gay explicit material online.

Michael said: “I would feel terrible about it and I would go and confess.

“That was the major sin that I was working on with my bishops in order to go on a mission, because I needed to rid myself of that habit.”

In March 2006, Michael applied for a mission and said he found out that spring that he had “been called” to go to Asuncion in Paraguay. He left for South America in July, aged 19.

“It was a dream come true,” Michael said.

Despite initially “struggling” to settle in, Michael said he had a “breakthrough” around six months in with securing conversions and baptisms, citing a total of more than 150.

He said: “My niche was young adults like me.

“There were probably up to 12 young men that would connect with my story – not because they were necessarily gay, but because the church provides a lot of structure and a path to be a missionary.”

Michael worked his way up to become a trainer for other missionaries, then a district leader, and finally the secretary to the mission president.

If the topic of homosexuality came up, Michael said he did not “linger very long” on reinforcing the church’s teachings around sexual purity, but there is one memory in particular that hits “hardest” for him.

“I did try to convert a lesbian,” Michael said.

“She was living with her girlfriend at the time and had two kids.

“I remember testifying to her and saying, ‘I know exactly what you’re going through right now, but through Jesus Christ and His sacrifice you can be changed’.”

Once Michael moved back to Utah in 2009, it became harder for him to “compartmentalise” his sexuality.

When he found himself watching Dreamgirls with a new Mormon friend named Jeremiah – who he knew “struggled with same-sex attraction” – Michael said he decided to kiss him, then they became “secret boyfriends” while studying at the Mormon-run Brigham Young University.

Michael said: “That’s how my faith starts to crack.”

He came out as gay to his friends and family within a month and said they were all “very happy and excited” for him – so, after graduating, he shared his sexuality publicly in a blog post in October 2010, aged 23.

He decided to leave the church around the same time because he “became allergic to religion” and then he had a lawyer help him remove his records from the church in 2012.

The couple are no longer together, but Jeremiah is the music director of Michael’s new Edinburgh Fringe show, Bottoming For Jesus.

Michael said the show is a “late-night confession about the performances we give in order to belong: to gods, to families, to communities, to ourselves”.

He added: “I want to offer up my story to people who are still struggling and wrestling with their own complicated relationship to faith and sexuality.”

Michael R Speciale’s life story has been turned into a cabaret for Edinburgh Fringe 2026, showing from August 8-30, 2026 at Studio at ZOO Southside. Tickets are available now.