Why is it hard to go back to real life after a holiday?

Transitioning back from holiday mode into everyday normal life can be a challenging time for many people as they come from unwinding and relaxing, into work, tasks and everyday reality.

Often it can take a couple of days or even weeks before people feel back in their routine. We spoke with experts to delve into why this happens and also to offer advice on how to make the transition that little bit easier.

Why do people find it difficult going back to normal life after holidays?

Psychotherapist and performance improvement consultant Dr Joy Conlon explains that the whole process of going on holiday probably gives a contrasting life experience.

“It almost gives a person’s nervous system permission to move from a survival state to a state of rest and recovery,” she explains. “It’s shifting out of that fight or flight and the demands of everyday life to being on holiday where you will tend to slow down, sleep more, spend more time outdoors, probably connect with people, and be a bit more carefree and active.”

“You’re stepping away from the relentless demands of everyday life – which now is filled with responsibility, deadlines and keeping on top of things. Whereas when we go on holidays, we’re shifting to a more regulated and relaxed nervous system.”

She adds that when you come back from holidays, there’s an almost rapid, immediate need to switch back to high performance, responsibility, relentless messages, emails and decision making.

“Sometimes, it’s less about missing the holiday so much as losing all the psychological conditions that the holiday gives us and we lose all that when we come back.”

Dr William Van Gordon, chartered psychologist and associate professor of contemplative psychology at the University of Derby, adds: “It’s a slower time and there’s more opportunity to be self-aware and self-reflect on holidays.

“There can be effectively a psychological whiplash effect as we find ourselves into working, normal life and there essentially isn’t enough time for the mind and brain to adjust properly to that.”

What can they do to make the transition easier?

Conlon explains that people should try and incorporate a little bit of holiday life into their everyday routine.

“For example, some people have no boundaries. They work, get up at 7am and come back at 7pm. They still work a bit when they go home and then go to bed, so there is very little downtime. They just live for an entire year for their next holiday.

“However, what I would be recommending is when you have a holiday and you’re coming back, stop and reflect and think about what did that holiday teach you that you need? It could be getting outdoors more or getting more sleep. It’s about reflecting what made you feel good on holidays and then trying to prioritise incorporating some part of that.”

She adds that ideally, people should not come back on a Sunday if they are back into work on a Monday. “Suggest easing the transition by giving yourself a day. Some people come back on a Friday and then they have Saturday to unpack and Sunday to prepare for the week.

“This gives them time to unpack, sleep, reset – a little transition day.”

“It’s almost like telling somebody to pace themselves and ease themselves gently back into the week.”

Van Gordon adds that meditation and mindfulness have been shown to help maintain some of the beneficial effects that we pick up on holidays. “If we can develop a routine of 10 to 15 minutes of mindful breathing or walking once or twice a day, or time out in nature, that can help,” he says.

“It does take a bit of planning and a little bit of effort to minimise the effects of the sudden transition.”

Do people find it hard to go into holiday mode too?

Conlon explains on the other hand, there is an assumption that people automatically go into holiday mode when they go on a break.

“Because people’s nervous systems are so wired and in survival mode all the time – high-achievers in particular – can find it hardest to settle in on holidays because they are so out of balance,” she says.

“It takes them longer to settle and holidays can feel quite uncomfortable. That’s why it can take a day or two for people to get settled.”