KILDARE PARENTING COLUMN: Parenting through those stressful times

We can’t deny it anymore — the Christmas season is here. This brings the opportunity to spend time with our family, have lots of fun and make real connections. For many families, however, the Christmas season can also bring additional stress or highlight existing worries.

Many families in Kildare are struggling with the cost of living crisis or without a home this Christmas; many others are facing the New Year with worries about their own homes and financial security. It might also be a time of sadness, loss or a poignant reminder of who might be missing from around the table.

So, while we all want to embrace the season with joy and provide lots of happy memories for our children, this can be difficult if we are going through a particularly challenging time. When we are feeling stressed or very upset, it is difficult to find the inner reserves to give our children the attention and patience they need. Below are some ideas on how to cope with the season while minding yourself and your children.

Talk about It. That old adage, a problem shared is a problem halved, may seem like a cliché, but reaching out to others (friends, family, a trusted professional), talking about our worries and finding that we are not alone can provide huge relief.

Ask for Help. This can be difficult for many of us, as we think we should be able to manage everything on our own, and social media has us convinced that everyone else’s life is always happy and perfect. The reality is that every single parent struggles at times. Reaching out to a trusted person such as a GP, PHN, teacher, community or youth worker will help you to find the practical and emotional support that is available to you and your children.

Don’t Compare Yourself to Others. This can be difficult, especially when we are surrounded by so many perfect images. But, try not to focus on this. Everyone has their worries, and you can only be responsible for yourself and your family.

Take Care of Yourself. You might be the last thing on your list, but you really shouldn’t be. Keeping your body and mind healthy is essential for all of the family. So, take some time to do something that restores you and makes you feel cared for—this could be as simple as painting your nails, getting your hair done or sitting in a nice café with a book and a cup of tea. This will help give you the inner reserves that you will need to give your children what they need

Trust that what your Children Most Need is You. Our children want lots of things, and Christmas advertising can make them want a whole lot more. But, what they really need is for you to be with them and care for them. Find time to do simple things with them (a lovely walk on a cold night, a movie in front of the fire, a family sleepover, etc.) and give them lots of affection (those hugs are good for you, too!) These moments will be what your children remember even if you can’t see it at the time.

This article was contributed by a member of Parenting Limerick. Parenting Limerick is a network of parenting and family support organisations. For more information on this and other topics go to www.loveparenting.ie.