‘Am I gonna die?’: Longford woman diagnosed with cancer just before ‘brilliant’ wedding

A LONGFORD woman has spoken of the moment her world was “ripped out from under” her after she was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer.

Tona Clabby from Longford Town had been busy planning her wedding, looking forward to things like a honeymoon in Santorini, and kept putting off making an appointment with her doctor. Then, in February, a letter from the national cancer screening programme BreastCheck arrived.

Tona had registered for the service after turning 50 the previous year and was given an appointment for March. A mammogram in Longford led to further tests at the BreastCheck clinic in Dublin, including biopsies, and on May 7 she was given the diagnosis she had feared.

Tona had invasive ductal carcinoma, with her breast cancer already at stage three and grade three.

“If I didn’t get that letter, I don’t know how long I would have left it, and I don’t know where I’d be now,” she told the Longford Leader.

“You do feel scared because the question in the back of your head all the time is, am I gonna die? Any person who’s going through this, that’s in the back of their head all the time.”

Tona often thinks about whether she will see her daughter graduate from college. “It’s a horrible question to even come into your head, but that’s the reality of it, and anybody who’s going through this will tell you the same.”

Just one week after receiving the diagnosis, Tona and her husband went ahead with their wedding, scaling back their original plans and marrying in a small ceremony at the registry office in Longford before celebrating with family and friends.

“We just had a very small do out in the registry office in Longford and had a big party in the pub, and we had a brilliant day. We wanted to kind of do it and not leave it,” said Tona.

Since then, however, life has been a whirlwind of appointments, chemotherapy and treatment, with Tona now facing surgery and potentially further chemotherapy and radiotherapy.

“Cancer walks in and suddenly your life becomes appointments, scans, bloodwork, treatments, side effects, bills, waiting rooms, and wondering what your body is going to do next...I miss who I was before cancer,” explained Tona.

She added that cancer consumes her every thought. “It’s a type of grief... You’re just grieving the different person you are that had the choice to do things. That choice is taken away from you now while you recover.”

“Maybe you’re allowed to feel like that as well because things are so crap, continued Tona.

“I’ve been off work for four months... Your whole life is turned upside down because my days are filled now with being very weak that I can’t even get off the couch some days, so it’s a huge difference. My life has completely flipped. I used to go to the gym, did fitness classes, socialised, that has just gone out the window!”

Having recently completed almost six months of chemotherapy, she is awaiting scans which will determine the next stage of her treatment.

“Chemotherapy is very tough. You’d be very sick. The side effects are just horrific but you have no choice. This is what’s gonna make you better, so you have to do it.

“I have scans next week in the Mater in Dublin, and I have the results the following week, and then I’ll have my plan for surgery... hopefully, it’s done and dusted by Christmas and I’m recovered,” explained Tona.

Tona may have to undergo a mastectomy, depending on her test results later this month.

“It all depends on how the chemo works... I should know on the 22nd of October what the next stage of my treatment is.

She added that she is looking forward to a return to normality when she is feeling better. “Just the normal things, not a big holiday, just to be able to go out for dinner with my girls and my husband and to be able to go back to work.”

The local woman who worked full-time with the prison service in Longford prior to her diagnosis believes the age for the BreastCheck register is “far too old.”

“It’s only for women between the ages of 50 and 69... There are so many women who are getting it earlier, but like me, six years ago when I found a lump and I went to my doctor, I had to pay. I think I had to pay €600 to go and get an assessment, a mammogram and an ultrasound. It is very costly as well, unless you’re going to go on a list and wait how long?

“Women in this country are constantly being let down by the healthcare system,” added Tona.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Tona is encouraging other women to self-check and register with BreastCheck.

She said the diagnosis is still quite raw after five months. “You do get your head around it as much as you can and I also go to the Lark Cancer Support Centre in Multyfarnham who are amazing.

“They provide counselling and treatment for people going through this and it’s all free of charge so that’s a huge thing that helps. They’re amazing, and it’s just like a little peaceful place that you can get away from everybody, because there’s certain things that you wouldn’t talk to your family about.”

To check if you are on the BreastCheck register, visit breastcheck.ie.