SPECIAL FEATURE: Offaly woman's experience of autism and ADHD
AT school, I never felt like I fitted in. I often watched peers with envy as I wondered what special ingredient they had that I hadn't. I found it challenging to make friends at school and university, and still do today. I don't have acquaintances but prefer real and solid friendships, which are harder to come by.
I was identified as autistic in 2018 and as having ADHD in 2021. Autism and ADHD are often misunderstood and misrepresented. Before my diagnosis, I had preconceived ideas: the film Rain Man was my reference for autism, and I thought that just boys had ADHD and were hyper and unmanageable.
No two autistic people are the same, and the spectrum is massive. With ADHD, there are three different types: hyperactive, inattentive, and a combination of both. I have inattentive ADHD, so, without medication, my mind continuously races with information. That results in my being easily distracted, forgetful. I often lose things and have difficulty listening to or retaining instructions and staying on task.
The autism diagnosis initially came as a bit of a shock, but it helped me to understand more about myself and the challenges I faced throughout my life – and discovering I have ADHD changed my life completely. Last May, while studying UX design at Maynooth University, I struggled to focus, sometimes procrastinated or, at times, could stay up all night working. All year, I scored at a 2:1 overall, no matter how hard I worked.
Of course, a 2:1 is an excellent result, but I knew something was holding me back, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it. It was the same when I was at school; I knew I was bright, taking seven higher level subjects for my Leaving Cert, but only scoring average results. I always got the same results whether or not I studied.
When I started medication for ADHD, the noise in my brain was gone, and I could concentrate at last. In my final four assignments, I scored 100% in three and 90% in the fourth. It was enough to tip the balance, and I graduated with first-class honours. Suddenly, every struggle I had at school and university made sense. My confidence and self esteem got a massive boost because I knew that there was nothing 'wrong' with me, but that I learn differently from neurotypical people.
Thankfully, society is becoming more knowledgeable about neurodiversity, but we have a long way to go. I think it's a shame that those who are different have to 'come out' but they must forge a path for those coming behind them.
It is important that society supports and accepts differences and does not expect everyone to fit the mould. My wish for the neurodivergent is that their life experiences will be less about adversity and judgement and more about celebrating diversity.
Paula Nolan first told her story about autism and ADHD to the Sunday Independent Life magazine. A former software engineer and photographer, the Tullamore woman is married to Malachy and they have four children. She now works as a UX (user experience) designer.