Man too scared to fly overcomes ‘irrational fear’ with course and now catches plane to Spain every month to meet fiancee

The son of a travel agent who became so terrified of flying that planes turned him into a “crying, panicking mess” and meant he managed only one flight in two decades has now overcome his fear thanks to a £219 three-and-a-half-hour airline course, and travels to see his fiancee in Spain every month.

Connor Sams, 29, a construction project manager from Eastbourne, East Sussex, took many flights as a child because his mother, Kaye, was a travel agent and could get the family cheap holidays.

However, after a gap of 10 years without flying, in 2014 Connor realised he had developed an “irrational fear” when he was due to fly to Florida for a friend’s wedding and suffered a breakdown after boarding, which resulted in him having to cancel the trip.

As a result, the only flight Connor managed to take in almost 20 years was to Alicante in Spain – but he was heavily sedated to the point where he was barely aware of his surroundings.

After trying different types of therapy and another failed holiday to Greece, he decided it was time to accept flying was no longer an option.

However, he heard about easyJet’s Fearless Flyer course through his boss at work and, after numerous delays due to the global pandemic, decided to face his fear.

The course, which costs £219 per person, involves a two-and-a-half-hour ground course and an “experience flight” which takes up to an hour, with a pilot talking passengers through every step of the round trip and how the plane works.

In November 2021, Connor met Jhei Martinez, 27, online and the freedom of being able to fly allowed him to meet her in person.

She is now his fiancee and he boards a plane to visit her once a month – while he is also planning a trip to see his aunt in Australia.

“If I couldn’t fly, I never would have met my fiancee and never would have got engaged,” Connor told PA Real Life.

“I’ve got no shame in saying it: I used to walk down the corridor to board the plane and I was a complete mess, crying, panicking – just an absolute wreck.

“The course is completely life-changing and I would recommend it to anyone 1,000%.”

Connor was never afraid of flying as a child and often went on holiday abroad with his mum, who worked as travel agent and therefore benefited from discounts.

But after she left the company, Connor did not board another plane for around 10 years, during which time he developed a fear of flying.

In 2014, he was due to attend a wedding in Florida in the United States but, after making his way to the departure gate, he started to panic.

“I didn’t realise that I had a fear of flying until I was there, about to board the plane, and I just started having a panic attack and going into breakdown mode,” he said.

“It was really weird, I’ve never experienced anything like it.

“I was the last one to board and it took about three hours for them to basically push me through the door.

“Then I just freaked out and had to get off, so I missed out on three weeks in Florida, which was kind of the trip of a lifetime.”

Over the next few years Connor searched for a cure, trying therapy and hypnotherapy, but neither helped overcome his fear of flying.

Four years later, in 2018, he managed to take a short flight from Gatwick to Alicante in Spain with some friends by taking prescription medication Diazepam, also known as Valium, which is commonly used as a sedative to treat anxiety, muscle spasms and seizures, according to the NHS.

“It was obviously a much shorter flight, like an hour-and-a-half, but I had to take so much Diazepam that I couldn’t even respond to my name,” he said.

“That was basically the only way I could fly, by basically not being with it to the point where I didn’t understand that I was flying.”

After that experience Connor tried booking another holiday to Zakynthos in Greece a year later, but again found he was too scared to board the plane.

“I think it’s about not being in control because I also don’t like being a passenger in the car, taking trains or being in a lift,” he said.

“It’s the fear of being stuck in something that I’m not in control of.”

Connor had run out of ideas and thought he might never fly again until his boss mentioned knowing someone who had managed to overcome their fear of flying with easyJet’s Fearless Flyer course.

“I ummed and ahhed about it for maybe a year because, even though it’s not a lot of money, it’s still money,” he said.

When he finally made the booking, Covid struck a few months later and his course was postponed until June 2021.

Connor said he was provided with an “online pack” which included a series of short, 10-minute videos, and was divided into three sections focusing on control techniques, the science behind flying, and trying to identify the root cause of his fear.

“It teaches you breathing exercises, relaxation techniques and tapping exercises, where you, like, tap pressure points on your body,” he said.

“The second module is a pilot who speaks about the science behind flying, like how a plane stays in the air and what different sounds mean.

“They’ve thought of everything people could possibly worry about and basically answer it for you.”

Participants were then taken on a 45-minute “experience flight”, which in Connor’s case departed from London’s Gatwick Airport.

During the flight, a pilot explains what is happening over the Tannoy.

Connor said: “She was speaking the whole way through to explain this is what is happening now, we’re going up the runway, this is what that beeping sound means, now we’ve taken off…

“She basically talks you through step by step what is going on.

“You then fly around for 45 minutes and come back in and land.”

In November 2021, Connor met his now fiancee, Jhei, online and three months later took his first flight on his own to Lanzarote in the Canary Islands, where she lives.

“The first time I must admit that I was in a bit of a state but I tried to remember what the course had taught me, and the people at easyJet were brilliant,” he said.