'If someone says they’re ‘grand’, maybe they’re actually not'

“What's the bravest thing you ever said?” asked the boy. “Help” said the horse. “Asking for help isn't giving up,” said the horse, “it's refusing to give up.”

The passage from The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse by Charlie Mackesy is one often quoted by Angeline Collins-Driver.

In December 2020, the Stranorlar woman founded Ohana ZERO Suicide, the Irish suicide prevention volunteer movement.

Last week, Daithi De Roiste, the Lord Mayor of Dublin, launched a new online third level edition of the Ohana ZERO Suicide training module at the Mansion House.

Since first sent into orbit almost three years ago, Ohana ZERO Suicide’s website has had one million hits and has been aiding individuals, groups and societies across the world.

Angeline previously volunteered with Cycle Against Suicide for six years before the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic.

When Angeline noticed a colleague had suicide ideation, it was like a lightbulb moment.

“He could have taken his own life,” Angeline tells Donegal Live. “We could have said: ‘How come we didn’t notice? ‘Why didn’t we say something?’ That’s common place with people who have been bereaved by suicide.

“When Covid came in, there was no face-to-face help available. Face-to-face consultations just weren’t happening. I reached out to some people I knew and the Zero Suicide Alliance in the UK said they were willing to adapt their work for Ireland if I was willing to chair it.”

In May 2021, Ballybofey boxer Jason Quigley wore the Ohana ZERO Suicide logo on his shorts for his NABO middleweight title win against Shane Mosley Jr in Las Vegas. Quigley’s wife, April, was one of the people Angeline reached out to at the outset.

Last Tuesday, sixteen people met for the first time at the Mansion House having previously only got together in WhatsApp messages or Zoom calls.

“It was a great opportunity for everyone who has worked so passionately to get together,” Angeline says.

The rapid success of Ohana ZERO suicide’s movement, a group of volunteers from all corners of the country, young and not so young, has attracted the attention of leading organisations and spurred them into action.

Their hope is to now engage third level institutions across the island of Ireland to do the same. The premise being that the stigma around suicide disappears with a conversation.

“If someone says something, you should always double check,” Angeline says. “Double check and really listen to what they are saying and try to get how they really are. If someone says they’re ‘grand’, maybe they’re actually not.

“We need to really check in with people. Notice and listen to what they’re saying and doing.

“I have listened to so many people who have been bereaved by suicide. We don’t want people to suffer that devastating experience, be it a son, daughter, friend or colleague. Anyone.”

Ohana ZERO Suicide training only takes 20-30 minutes to complete, and features scenarios that students, family and friends alike can relate to.

At times students of any and all ages and diversities may feel overwhelmed or isolated.

Ohana ZERO Suicide is particularly aiming at new third level students this autumn.

Angeline says: “Students are a worry. Especially this cohort of students because they have lived through Covid at a critical time. Lots of students who were in fourth or fifth year were at home all the time and didn’t get that experience of discos, shared experiences.

“They were sort of kept fairly isolated. Now, they’re going off to college maybe to a different town or city and they’re expected to manage that fairly confidently and haven’t really learned the tools.

“This peer group has suffered a lot of anxiety and mental health issues. This training is not just for third level students, but also their families, lecturers, counsellors, so that they too have the tools.

“In this day and age to spend 30 minutes for this training is so powerful. These tools can actually be life saving. Simple things like what to notice, what to say to someone who is struggling. A lot of people don’t know what to say and are afraid of saying the wrong thing.

“Then you have a scenario where if something did happen someone may be left with this overpowering grief: ‘Why didn’t I say something?’”

In 2020, Angeline had an aim of reaching 5,000 people, but Ohana ZERO Suicide quickly passed the target.

Now firmly established, Angeline says Ohana ZERO Suicide and like-minded charities or organisations would benefit from an overall umbrella group.

“Charities can be quite territorial because they have to fundraise,” she says. “Our uniqueness is that we don’t fundraise. Zero Suicide Alliance and the team themselves put the money together and we had so many IT people and so on reaching out to ask what we need.

“There is a fundraiser for us in Ballybofey & Stranorlar Golf Club later in the year which will go towards expenses. We don’t have a lot of expenses, though.

“I would like charities to come together. Suicide doesn’t discriminate and it is everybody’s business. Any charity work for suicide prevention, we’re all in this together. We could and should come together and share what we all have. It’s something I would love to see.”

For more information go to www.ohana.ie or contact ohanazerosuicide@gmail.com

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can freephone the Samaritans 24 hours a day for confidential support at 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org 

Alternatively, the contact information for a range of mental health supports is available at mentalhealthireland.ie/get-support. 

In the case of an emergency, or if you or someone you know is at risk of suicide or self-harm, dial 999/112.