Tipperary businessman and Toomevara hurler Tony Delaney opens up about sexual abuse

A prominent Tipperary businessman and former Toomevara hurler has opened up about how he was sexually abused by a club player when he was just a boy.

Tony Delaney, who operates the financial company SYS Group, told Ryan Tubridy on last Friday’s Late Late Show how he had been “groomed” by Sean Nolan when he was just 11-years-old.

He also revealed how he had contemplated taking his own life because of the effects the abuse had on him.

Mr Nolan was sentenced to three years in jail, with the final year suspended, by Nenagh Circuit Criminal Court earlier this year.

Mr Delaney outlined how he had grown up playing hurling, being “consumed by hurling”.

When Tony’s grandfather died, he went to live with his grandmother at about 10 years of age.

They had a little cottage with a big shed and a gable end and he would hit the ball off the gable wall.

“It was just hurling, hurling and he was a neighbour and coached me how to play hurling and that is where the grooming started,” said Tony.

In relation to the grooming process, Mr Delaney said that people need to go through childhood abuse to understand it.

“You don’t remember any of it but you go back to that - you are going to be a very good hurler and at the time he was a very good hurler. Keep practising and you’ll make a good hurler and we’ll do X,Y and Z and I suppose that’s where it started.

“It started out at the back of the shed where it was covered over and you wouldn’t really see what was going on and then inside in one of the rooms in my grandmother’s house,” he revealed.

At the time there was an 11-year age gap between Tony and his abuser.

However, Tony, who has attended therapy, said that he blocked everything out and told no one.

“And it just didn’t happen in my head. I just kept it a secret and as I got older the effects of it took over. I knew it had happened, but I didn’t know what was happening to be honest, but I knew I didn’t want it to happen,” he said.

Mr Delaney told Ryan Tubridy that there were various different types of sexual abuse and he had started at X and ended up at Y. While he didn’t want to get into the details of the abuse, he said it was “severe”.

In dealing with it he made sure he wasn’t caught in situations.

“That’s one of the big traits, that someone wouldn’t get the better of me and I’ve carried that trait all my life,” he said.

In a cruel twist, Tony ended up playing on the same team as Sean Nolan. However, he said that what happened never came into it.

“I didn’t even think about it. I just wanted to play hurling. I never spoke about it or thought about it, got on with training and matches. We became successful. I just wanted to play for Toomevara,” said Mr Delaney.

In 2008, things started to get to Tony who at this stage had two adult children, but his relationship was gone.

“A lot came out about the Catholic Church but there was a lot more than the Catholic Church responsible for child sexual abuse,” he said.

It was then that he looked to end his life.

“I don’t know what came over me. One evening I drove to Athlone and up to the bridge. It was a cry for help. I can’t swim and still can’t swim. I don’t think I would have done it. I did contemplate it but I knew I wouldn’t come out. It was a cry for help,” he said.

Instead, he sent a text to his family and they persuaded him to come home.

“I was 37 and it was the first time ever I disclosed what happened to me. They were all very happy to see me coming home. They were very supportive,” he said.

He went to the gardaí in 2013 because he said it “couldn’t continue”.

“What they (paedophiles) get off on is silence,” he said.

He was delighted the DPP took the case but when it was over, Tony said: “He did not look at me and had no apology, no remorse.”

But then he didn’t know what to expect.

One important point he wanted to get across was that there was another family affected by it.

“There is a very close relationship between us and the Nolans and I would hate to see that relationship damaged,” he said.

He said that might have prevented him from appearing on the show, but he felt he had to do it.

“I had to say to people, this needs to be dealt with and it needs to be dealt with in a completely different way and silence is what they thrive on. There are so many out there it is actually shocking,” he said.