Barrtalk: Lost in the headlines – newspaper howlers from times gone by

-I love newspapers. Always have. And while I might be slightly biased, having spent a fair bit of my working life writing for them, I genuinely believe that a good headline is one of the most difficult things to get right.

It has to grab attention, sum up a story, make people want to read on and, ideally, do all of that in a handful of words. It's a particular skill, and one which journalists spend an awful lot of time perfecting.

But occasionally, despite the best intentions of the people putting the words together, a headline takes on a life of its own. And sometimes the results are absolutely priceless.

Take this little gem from The Journal.ie in 2014: 'Dublin priest says he "bored" two armed burglars out of his home'.

Fr Arthur O'Neill was woken at around 5am by two armed intruders, one of whom pointed a gun at his head. Yet, just 20 minutes later, they had apparently had enough and left. The priest reckoned that a sermon he had prepared earlier had done the trick. They even returned his stolen mobile phone, leaving it under a tile outside his door!

Then there was the Irish Independent headline in 2010: 'Pope approves use of condoms after historic shift'. Before anyone starts imagining a rather different sort of papal announcement, the story concerned a change in the Catholic Church's position on condom use. Pope Benedict XVI had acknowledged that their use could be justified in certain circumstances.

Across the Atlantic, The Courier in Waterloo, Iowa, came up with 'Husband and Dog Gone; Just Wants Dog Back' on May 10, 1954. An Associated Press report told of a Dallas woman whose husband had disappeared with her Chihuahua puppy. Her response to police was wonderfully straightforward: she didn't care whether her husband returned; she just wanted her dog back. Marriage clearly had its limits!

Next, the Asheville Citizen-Times in North Carolina, on March 22, 1950, published 'Vengeful Man Barks Like Dog'.

Marion D. Perry had been fined $10 after neighbours complained about him sitting on his porch barking at night. His defence? Their dogs were keeping him awake, so he was simply retaliating.

I have every sympathy with old Marion. Anyone who has endured a neighbour's dog barking at all hours will understand the torture.

One of the most gloriously obvious headlines appeared in Pennsylvania's Express-Times in February 2004: 'Homicide victims rarely talk to police'. The headline became an early internet sensation and even made an appearance on Jay Leno's Tonight Show.

Toronto's The Star supplied another classic on June 14, 1996, with 'Marijuana issue sent to a joint committee'. Entirely accurate in parliamentary terms, but whoever wrote it must have known that the double meaning was irresistible.

Then there's 'O, Dammit, Wants Name Changed'. This appeared in American newspapers in June 1913, reporting on Orlando Dammit, who wanted to escape a family name that had caused him years of embarrassment. Apparently, he could never tell whether people were calling him or simply swearing.

And finally, my all-time favourite. Just two words, published by The News Chronicle on May 2, 1945: 'Hitler Dead'.

No pun, no clever wordplay, no unnecessary embellishment. Just two words announcing one of the most significant developments in modern history. The initial report was inaccurate in some details about how Hitler died, but the headline itself was unforgettable.

Bye, bye Trump

And speaking of good headlines . . . how about the one above?

I have to admit, I went to bed a very happy man after following the results of the American midterm elections last Tuesday night.

And I suspect there were plenty of other people on this side of the Atlantic who were smiling into their breakfast coffees the following morning.

I read a fascinating column by Peter Baker, chief White House correspondent for The New York Times, in which he suggested that the results could mark the beginning of the end of the Trump era. Having read it, I found myself agreeing with practically every word.

The Democrats [at last] delivered a stunning electoral rout of Donald Trump's Republicans, winning control of both the House of Representatives and the Senate, and effectively taking control of Congress for the next two years.

The scale of the House victory was particularly remarkable. NBC News projected that the Democrats would win 258 seats, a figure they hadn't reached since 1993, when Bill Clinton entered the White House.

It would represent their strongest showing in more than three decades – better even than during Obama’s time. This was no ordinary midterm setback for a sitting president. It was a sizeable slap in the face.

Trump, of course, had spent much of the campaign telling Americans to pretend he was on the ballot. He repeated the message 47 times [!], apparently believing that his presence would encourage Republican supporters to turn out in greater numbers.

Well, it seems they did pretend he was on the ballot. They just voted against him.

The Narcissist-in-Chief’s subsequent explanation was almost comical. He told The New York Times that because he wasn't actually on the ticket, the Republicans hadn't managed to get enough people out to vote.

You couldn't make it up. Apparently, he was responsible for the campaign when he thought it would help, but somehow not responsible when it went spectacularly wrong. Typical Trump.

Baker makes the point that Trump himself chose the candidates, dictated the strategy and made the election a referendum on his presidency. He got exactly what he asked for, just not the answer he wanted.

There were plenty of reasons for voter anger, including rising petrol prices, the war with Iran, tariffs pushing up consumer costs, and concerns about alleged profiteering and corruption.

More than 65 per cent of voters in a CNN exit poll felt Trump had worsened the economy, which he had vowed to fix.

People who had bought into his promises of lower prices and a better America appear to have decided that enough is enough. Hallelujah.