Kildare GAA: And all because he left the house 'naked' - County Board meeting review

And so after the break for the summer. It returned. The first Tuesday of the Month.

September.

Kildare GAA gathering.

Coming together of the grassroots.

Venue?

Well the trips out of town have ceased.

As you are no doubt aware the 'gathering' has been on tour.

Various clubs around the county have hosted.

Rathcoffey,

Celbridge.

Naas.

Amongst them.

The last one before the break?

How could you forget it.

Athy.

Now you remember.

And in case you don't recall, would Zumba stir the mind?

Now you're with me.

Not only Zumba mind you.

There was Chubby Checker.

There was The King himself.

Elvis.

Not forgetting a bit of Comhaltas Ceolteóiri Éireann.

Sure poor auld Syl is still feeling the effects of it.

Tramuatised was the Nurney man.

But anyway to make a long story longer.

Last Tuesday night.

Hawkfield.

Manguard Park.

Kildare's No. 1 venue.

Soon to be downgraded to No. 2 venue.

And to make it even better the chairman was back.

Unavoidably absent last outing.

Not sure what relevance this has.

But this time around not sight nor sign of the vice-chair.

But Colm need not have had worries.

Not alone was he absent.

So too were a host of others.

No Chubby.

Not a sign of The King.

The Comhaltas crew went away for the summer and haven't been seen since.

As for the Zumba?

Quietness.

Brilliant.

And just like the first race at most meetings, the white flag was raised bang on time.

7.30.

And off we went.

A few side wagers on the length of time this one would run.

My fiver was a minute or two under 30.

Not for the first time I picked the wrong 'horse.'

Off we went with the apologies.

The less than a minute's silence for the recently deceased.

The minutes of the last meeting were noted.

Still can't figure out amid all the commotion down in Athy that night how anyone could take minutes.

But sure it was grand.

No one could disagree with the report that was e-mailed out.

Sure they couldn't hear either.

The Money Man was centre stage.

Wouldn't go as far as to say The Alan Lad was smiling but he came fairly close to it on more than one occasion.

Informed the delegates the budget was on target.

The income was more than decent.

The bills were under control.

I says to meself sure Conleth's will be paid for before the floodlights are even turned on.

€1.01234m income.

Or something close.

€1.32101m expenditure.

Cash deficit in the region of less than 300 grand.

On budget?

Love to know how 300 Big Ones over spend is on budget.

But then again I was never great at the sums.

But I'll tell you one thing though.

If The Burser says everything is on budget.

Well, that's good enough for me.

The boys and girls from Croker paid a visit recently we were told.

The money crew.

Checking up on how the books were looking.

On a visit to every county in the country.

No word back yet as to what they found in Lilywhiteland.

But if I was reading the vibes right don't be surprised if Alan The Lad is head-hunted for a position in the Big Smoke.

Anyone who can turn a situation around where one couldn't purchase a stamp.

To where Kildare are at the minute.

Well don't be surprised.

Remember where you heard it first.

Alan The Lad for Croker.

Then again, they probably couldn't afford him?

Speaking of money.

I mean cash.

Not this tap and go stuff.

Spondulix.

Hard cash.

Well a man who is not shy of saying a few words at these gatherings, aka the Rathcoffey delegate, had a bit of a traumatic experience recently.

Did you ever hear the one about the Emperor with no clothes.

Well that was what the delegate must have felt like.

He arrived at Kildare's No. 1 venue.

Soon to be Kildare's No. 2 venue.

Naked.

I cod you not.

Cardless.

Left his residence, not just without his Club Kildare card.

No bank card.

No credit card.

No CU card.

By the sounds of things did not even have a pack o' cards with him.

No card.

No entry.

Shocked.

Stunned.

Speechless.

Well now, that might be a bit over the top.

Took to calling the chairman, that's John for you, no messing around, straight to the top.

Eventually allowed in, courtesy of The Boss.

Of course that caused a delegate or two to bring up the chestnut of no cash at the stiles.

Not sure how long that has been the norm at this stage.

But those are the rules.

Now tap and go will see the stile miraculously swing open.

But the sight of a ten, a twenty or even a fifty spot and not a bloody budge on the gate.

This was the discussion that cost me a fiver as it was the main topic prolonging the meeting beyond my expected 30 minutes, or a few minutes less.

Then I say to myself.

Back in the day when cash was king at the stiles sure Kildare GAA couldn't afford to buy a stamp!

We move on.

Fixtures man Mick Mullen was another buachaill at the top table smiling like a cat that had just got the cream.

All games are on schedule.

N0. 1 objective for the man from north of the county.

Mick thanked this club and that club, this one and that one.

Sure what more does the man in charge of fixtures want in his life?

Well, we might find that out sooner rather than later.

But that's for another day.

All the top table (present) had their few moments in the sun.

No problems.

Everything in the garden is rosey.

Well not everyone is happy.

There's the transport man from Sallins.

Another cash customer.

While the Allenwood delegate was put back in his box on more than one occasion.

If there's is one thing The Blues man dislikes it seems to be Croke Park.

Sean thinks they (Croke Park) are trying to run the GAA.

And he's not too happy about it.

We were getting close to the Elephant in the Room time.

It mattered not to me.

My fiver was long gone due to the Rathcoffey delegate and him leaving his house 'naked.'

The Chairman spoke.

Silence.

Total silence.

Good job he wasn't in Athy at the last gathering I whisper to meself.

The Larries man spits it out.

Finally.

I ...

Sorry ...

The Management Committee are proposing that Brian Flanagan be the next Kildare manager.

Along with Aiden O'Rourke (he won't have to look for directions ).

Damian Hendy.

Nor will he.

And Daryl Flynn.

No mileage for The Flynner.

Sure he can walk to Conleth's.

There you have it.

All done and dusted.

Until next month.

The big loser on the night?

Mise.

A glove, aka a fiver, down.

And all because the man from Rathcoffey left his house 'naked.'

Maybe I'll give the chairman a ring!